Alan Grieco, Ph.D.
According to a recent press release, the Food and Drug Administration recently gave approval for a new topical, spray-on numbing medication (Promescent) meant to help with premature ejaculation. Supposedly, it does not similarly numb the partner.
Premature ejaculation is defined as persistent orgasm and ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation before, on, or shortly after penetration and before the person wishes it. For couples without premature ejaculation, intercourse typically lasts five to ten minutes, therefore men who last this long with intercourse do not have premature ejaculation by the usual definition. This condition typically starts with a man’s first intercourse and may continue until it is addressed.
As a last resort, prescribed medications may be useful but the most common and natural remedy avoids medication. It involves first practice and private masturbation, then shared sexual activities that become increasingly sexual over time.
The basic deficit in premature ejaculation is failure to monitor and compensate for (e.g. by relaxing) the sensations in the pelvic region indicating that ejaculation is near. To last longer, first, during private masturbation practice getting close to the edge of ejaculation then backing off by slowing or temporarily discontinuing penile stimulation and by physically relaxing. You may need to practice relaxation techniques separately, then integrate them into these recommended routines. During private masturbation, repeat trying to get close to the edge of ejaculation three to four times during one episode alternating with relaxation, before proceeding to ejaculation. Once you can clearly identify the pelvic sensations corresponding to being near ejaculation and can effectively pull back from that edge, you are ready to do this same behavior with your partner present but not actively involved. Once you can get close to the edge of your orgasm repeatedly with your partner present, then gradually have him or her become more active with manual, oral, or genital to genital contact. Use of a lubricant helps get you accustomed to the slippery sensations of a vagina.
If, after attempting to use these ideas, you still feel a need for guidance, please schedule an appointment for a consultation with Dr. Grieco. When therapy is needed for this issue, it is usually brief and effective but is generally not covered by insurance.
For more information on Sex Therapy please contact Psychological Affiliates at 407-740-6838 or this form.
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