Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

divorce education orlando navigate needs trial stress-relieving professional conflict resolution parenting plan Orlando family mediator courage friendship acting out sex family counseling orlando cheating dynamic addiction repressed mental health counselor medical newly divorced persona hypnotherapy expression partner violence habits assessment respectfully couple's therapy Neuropsychology qualified therapist mediates consultants anxious abuse healing mismatched sex drives buried memories intimacy learning listening problem Orlando parenting plan evaluations neurodevelopmental disorders relationship child's mental state development therapists in orlando influence psychology orlando psychotherapist different self The Florida Bar settlement struggling child paternity Orlando neuropsychologist self mental states help unsettling infidelity aftermath ideal smoking cessation activities Orlando collaborative divorce acceptance overeating habits intense mediator determine issues psychotherapy valued relationship models behavior learning and growth sexual addiction marriage problems qualified sex therapist messy divorce respect parent coordination sex offender therapist undergo support before the divorce married Parenting Coordination Program masturbation troubled swinging withstand family therapy attorneys habit loved alternative medicine swing marriage troubles live apart phobias overeating repression forensic psychological evaluations success anxiety Orlando therapists mental health services thoughts law enforcement consultants court neuropsychological evaluations mess of a divorce relationship woes child development post traumatic stress disorder mediators Orlando mediation parent relationships suppression family counseling expectation multiple personality disorder foundation neuropsychologist swingers sex therapy orlando child psychologist orlando brain child abuse fault neuropsychologists out of court agree qualified Competency Restoration Training sex offender therapy healthy habits state of mind phobia cheated-upon beginning craving management behaviors improve medicine evaluation friends disorders clarify priorities scientists challenges unconscious Orlando psychotherapy mental state marriage counseling orlando fl sadness licensed psychologist clarify partners sexual behavioral problems Parenting Coordinator children reassurance infidelity divorce trial negotiations collaborative law counseling delicate topic sex therapy growth discussion satisfaction topics for discussion law enforcement specialists swinger contested custodies PTSD scientist values litigation support litigation call it quits talking points marriage counseling malicious divorce prenuptial agreements partner depression mental illness marriage sleep disorders divided therapist's roles treatments arrangement bias towards disputes psychometrist families self-expression sexual monogamy psychological evaluations undergo hypnosis family mediation dynamics alimony Orlando psychologist suffering life event access repressed thoughts politicians consultation sexual enrichment communication molestation couple's problems attorney advantageous better help relationship better the relationship memories expectations deal anti-anxiety disorder withstand challenges grief loves questions digital evaluate therapy psychologist hypnosis couples family dealing with anxiety sleep disorder co-parenting therapy spouses love shades of grey sexual trauma lying family psychotherapy assess dealing with stress mental examination non-monogamy prioritization relationship therapy divorcing treatment Orlando mediators psychosexual evaluations not his fault hopeless unconventional arrangement communication problems couples counseling specific problem consult psychological property legal develop sexual procedure substance abuse adult Orlando psychologists sexual satisfaction psychology mental health unsettling life event fulfillment relief psychiatric parents problems heart withdraw Orlando Family Mediation monetary value emotions affair parenting plans orlando sex therapy leave agreement conflict caring behaviors delicate one another marry divorce coaches communication problem courts Orlando supervised visitation psychologists in orlando struggling aftermath cheated relationship boundaries cheater psychological evaluation sexual avoidance act out personality spouse another suppressed doctor relaxation neuroanatomy talk therapy personal fulfillment smoking studies improving orientation confusion accept sex therapist tools improve sexual satisfaction modern relationships neurological abnormality forensic psychology help relationships boundary modification appropriate ways deserves caring collaborative divorce Orlando sex offender therapy behavior modification priorities child Orlando hypnotherapy lawyers trauma psychologists orlando delicate topics psychologists sex offender Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations risks divorce relocation disputes repressed memories judge bias address long-term relationship divided loyalties class orlando therapist friendly terms mediation mind autonomy stress monitored exchange repressed thoughts developments effective psychotherapy orlando adjustment value system addressed unconventional techniques estates without bias time-sharing social pragmatic communication disorder access lover boundaries modern relationship child custody Cooperative Parenting Institute separation influential

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design