Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

professional stress expression Orlando parenting plan evaluations grief topics for discussion parents Orlando hypnotherapy evaluation communication problem repressed couples counseling listening suppressed stress-relieving mind cheated valued boundary anxiety medical self spouse neuropsychologist relocation disputes friends divorcing sexual satisfaction improve sexual satisfaction marry development licensed psychologist evaluate problems infidelity mediates psychological evaluations trial scientists child abuse withstand friendship intense better developments dealing with anxiety swinging behavior craving management foundation family mediation mental health settlement long-term relationship talk therapy priorities sexual monogamy sex relationship woes swinger Neuropsychology clarify priorities improve Orlando neuropsychologist affair sex therapy psychometrist mental illness without bias consultants improving smoking communication risks sex offender therapist techniques appropriate ways treatment brain hopeless activities time-sharing self-expression unsettling married marriage troubles influence phobias troubled disorder delicate topics mental health counselor studies delicate Orlando family mediator adult orientation confusion help repressed memories caring cheated-upon multiple personality disorder parent deal psychotherapist prioritization learning and growth Parenting Coordinator court boundaries Cooperative Parenting Institute healing expectation attorney divorce caring behaviors struggling sexual avoidance family counseling habits respect sex therapist swing modification divorce education orlando parent coordination sleep disorders children Competency Restoration Training malicious divorce Orlando psychologist marriage counseling orlando fl heart contested custodies unconventional questions messy divorce influential child custody aftermath mental examination masturbation judge satisfaction qualified sex therapist navigate lover orlando sex therapy treatments autonomy address neurodevelopmental disorders reassurance marriage prenuptial agreements psychological evaluation lawyers scientist estates mediator relief expectations withdraw thoughts overeating relaxation mental states anti-anxiety sex offender couples collaborative divorce relationship relationship boundaries counseling partner assess fulfillment mediation suppression mediators leave paternity develop PTSD ideal disputes neurological abnormality post traumatic stress disorder clarify attorneys buried memories before the divorce memories behavior modification struggling child different self one another loved emotions suffering therapist's roles politicians psychotherapy orlando psychotherapy love overeating habits neuropsychological evaluations child conflict newly divorced life event sexual addiction delicate topic qualified acceptance value system dynamic legal phobia divided law enforcement consultants addiction courage social pragmatic communication disorder medicine unconventional arrangement family smoking cessation assessment specific problem separation beginning adjustment repressed thoughts Orlando mediation forensic psychology Orlando psychotherapy bias undergo hypnosis monetary value intimacy repression courts swingers Orlando mediators forensic psychological evaluations sadness state of mind family therapy help relationships hypnotherapy sexual trauma arrangement therapist relationships relationship therapy relationship models trauma psychiatric families act out undergo lying unsettling life event divorce coaches communication problems Orlando Family Mediation acting out better the relationship shades of grey family counseling orlando monitored exchange litigation psychology growth spouses cheating access Orlando collaborative divorce personality dealing with stress loves molestation respectfully behaviors modern relationships partners The Florida Bar problem success support family psychotherapy conflict resolution psychologists substance abuse not his fault disorders parenting plans property modern relationship Parenting Coordination Program psychological sleep disorder therapists in orlando parenting plan non-monogamy bias towards marriage counseling divorce trial friendly terms hypnosis neuroanatomy consultation talking points deserves sexual determine negotiations access repressed thoughts couple's therapy psychologists orlando help relationship dynamics Orlando sex offender therapy mess of a divorce qualified therapist addressed mental health services consult live apart sex offender therapy couple's problems mental state child development sexual behavioral problems Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations law enforcement specialists child's mental state alternative medicine personal fulfillment out of court effective agree values procedure sex therapy orlando cheater Orlando supervised visitation fault advantageous agreement psychosexual evaluations digital depression accept doctor tools discussion challenges infidelity aftermath partner violence neuropsychologists mismatched sex drives anxious needs learning healthy habits marriage problems persona psychology orlando psychologist sexual enrichment Orlando psychologists litigation support another divided loyalties class orlando therapy alimony co-parenting therapy habit psychologists in orlando child psychologist orlando issues collaborative law call it quits abuse unconscious Orlando therapists withstand challenges

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design