Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

needs lawyers hypnosis divorce trial swinging healing help relationships agree anti-anxiety struggling struggling child divorce coaches legal acceptance family counseling different self clarify priorities success masturbation healthy habits litigation support alternative medicine psychologists sex therapist dynamics neurological abnormality child abuse topics for discussion relationship therapy addressed parent psychosexual evaluations emotions bias towards family counseling orlando phobias arrangement families troubled parent coordination communication problems unsettling help better the relationship adjustment assessment heart divorcing expectations challenges leave lying child boundary without bias sadness personal fulfillment evaluate Orlando hypnotherapy tools monitored exchange neuropsychological evaluations smoking cessation married marriage sex treatments marry partners delicate topics marriage counseling orlando fl psychotherapy acting out suppression mediator overeating PTSD Parenting Coordinator psychotherapy orlando sexual enrichment anxiety dealing with anxiety divided unconventional shades of grey psychological couple's therapy sleep disorder navigate mediates appropriate ways self relaxation ideal sex offender therapy help relationship communication relationships orlando sex therapy divorce education orlando thoughts attorneys treatment divided loyalties class orlando cheating non-monogamy litigation procedure influence relationship models social pragmatic communication disorder intense clarify therapist's roles modification undergo hypnosis psychology not his fault grief relationship psychologist mental health counselor memories post traumatic stress disorder child's mental state Orlando sex offender therapy sexual unconscious children medicine settlement infidelity aftermath sexual monogamy Orlando parenting plan evaluations Orlando supervised visitation sexual behavioral problems mental state cheater sex offender therapist couples mediators suffering Orlando mediation loves expectation family conflict talk therapy address before the divorce friendship molestation improve child development doctor deserves prioritization psychologists in orlando effective communication problem spouse sexual trauma bias professional repressed discussion techniques another orientation confusion swinger disorders access withdraw sex therapy orlando conflict resolution sexual avoidance friends family psychotherapy smoking Orlando mediators mental health services call it quits scientist Cooperative Parenting Institute psychiatric undergo politicians relief dynamic forensic psychology live apart negotiations foundation fault delicate topic law enforcement consultants attorney expression consultants determine life event valued forensic psychological evaluations couple's problems deal risks satisfaction child psychologist orlando therapists in orlando Orlando psychologists relationship boundaries develop paternity lover Parenting Coordination Program mind consult beginning parents modern relationships trial Orlando collaborative divorce modern relationship access repressed thoughts advantageous psychologists orlando therapist unsettling life event value system licensed psychologist withstand challenges marriage counseling cheated-upon qualified caring Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations overeating habits persona stress-relieving delicate activities listening substance abuse psychometrist unconventional arrangement law enforcement specialists suppressed divorce judge craving management learning and growth Orlando Family Mediation boundaries anxious neurodevelopmental disorders issues growth studies values behavior modification priorities counseling consultation disorder messy divorce mismatched sex drives scientists Orlando psychotherapy couples counseling affair psychological evaluations parenting plan accept improving problem sex offender neuroanatomy child custody contested custodies phobia psychotherapist mess of a divorce malicious divorce collaborative law abuse property court separation time-sharing state of mind questions one another buried memories family therapy mental examination monetary value support The Florida Bar addiction parenting plans agreement autonomy Orlando psychologist self-expression repressed memories disputes act out Competency Restoration Training qualified sex therapist evaluation swingers mediation brain spouses development infidelity collaborative divorce qualified therapist Orlando family mediator marriage troubles developments alimony improve sexual satisfaction talking points relationship woes marriage problems sexual addiction mental illness friendly terms sex therapy loved relocation disputes psychological evaluation fulfillment better stress habits behaviors Orlando therapists habit cheated partner co-parenting therapy sexual satisfaction hypnotherapy respectfully Neuropsychology swing therapy multiple personality disorder adult reassurance assess partner violence Orlando neuropsychologist neuropsychologist psychology orlando behavior digital specific problem courage intimacy personality hopeless medical prenuptial agreements out of court problems neuropsychologists courts trauma estates withstand family mediation love dealing with stress aftermath learning caring behaviors mental health repression newly divorced long-term relationship mental states sleep disorders influential respect repressed thoughts depression

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design