Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


qualified sex therapist buried memories medical divorcing court orlando sex therapy improve sexual satisfaction clarify priorities unconventional doctor Orlando therapists parenting plan self mediators marriage troubles effective issues medicine sexual conflict spouses stress-relieving negotiations tools problems relationship models caring behaviors relationships sex offender repressed Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations friendly terms marriage counseling orlando fl relationship woes modification collaborative law sexual trauma boundary talking points mind autonomy mental health services psychotherapy Orlando hypnotherapy mental examination treatment specific problem time-sharing expectation psychology orlando lying fault child sexual behavioral problems child's mental state withstand challenges neuropsychological evaluations value system relationship bias towards Orlando supervised visitation respect self-expression PTSD families relief Orlando mediation valued consultation litigation suppression family counseling orlando evaluate navigate divorce education orlando neurological abnormality phobias malicious divorce parenting plans swinger psychiatric Orlando parenting plan evaluations Cooperative Parenting Institute troubled love better psychological evaluation social pragmatic communication disorder family mediation Parenting Coordination Program marriage problems anxious disorders sex therapy orlando craving management suppressed another scientists hypnotherapy challenges overeating habits separation sex therapist deserves parent procedure psychologist delicate messy divorce deal access repressed thoughts therapist family neuropsychologists loved fulfillment judge repressed memories psychotherapy orlando values techniques contested custodies act out trauma child abuse advantageous phobia swingers divorce bias assess marry partner violence communication divided loyalties class orlando family psychotherapy communication problem discussion behavior before the divorce undergo therapy Orlando psychologists improving acceptance attorney relationship boundaries heart addressed live apart infidelity children treatments communication problems help healing Orlando psychotherapy mediator withstand mental states licensed psychologist parent coordination expectations divided address Orlando sex offender therapy Parenting Coordinator professional friendship agree topics for discussion alimony adult relocation disputes development adjustment aftermath conflict resolution cheating withdraw psychometrist long-term relationship priorities child custody evaluation addiction behaviors hopeless sexual addiction counseling couples counseling disorder better the relationship anti-anxiety modern relationships neuroanatomy respectfully Competency Restoration Training access help relationships life event courts listening intimacy Neuropsychology cheater substance abuse therapists in orlando non-monogamy consultants psychological disputes litigation support couple's therapy psychotherapist leave mismatched sex drives not his fault sadness persona family counseling child development newly divorced neurodevelopmental disorders delicate topic abuse memories smoking cessation caring marriage masturbation sex psychologists orlando partner orientation confusion different self psychologists in orlando influential qualified post traumatic stress disorder monetary value The Florida Bar unconventional arrangement needs improve repression undergo hypnosis sexual satisfaction learning attorneys therapist's roles struggling child collaborative divorce sex offender therapist reassurance lover habit healthy habits friends qualified therapist repressed thoughts married Orlando Family Mediation talk therapy personal fulfillment loves neuropsychologist mental health grief emotions unsettling help relationship foundation courage trial expression depression divorce coaches modern relationship support digital property mediation behavior modification consult cheated-upon psychologists swinging cheated relationship therapy co-parenting therapy habits sleep disorders assessment partners scientist mental state politicians state of mind questions monitored exchange mess of a divorce thoughts swing infidelity aftermath law enforcement consultants problem legal beginning divorce trial influence multiple personality disorder dynamic couples lawyers child psychologist orlando Orlando family mediator appropriate ways Orlando collaborative divorce ideal agreement studies sexual avoidance estates dynamics risks activities Orlando neuropsychologist affair paternity sex therapy molestation settlement psychosexual evaluations anxiety develop marriage counseling Orlando psychologist psychological evaluations family therapy mental health counselor couple's problems smoking parents alternative medicine suffering growth hypnosis unconscious sexual enrichment mediates unsettling life event developments sex offender therapy spouse Orlando mediators boundaries acting out relaxation forensic psychology personality sexual monogamy call it quits stress shades of grey learning and growth dealing with anxiety one another forensic psychological evaluations dealing with stress satisfaction without bias overeating brain prioritization prenuptial agreements psychology intense determine mental illness delicate topics success clarify struggling out of court law enforcement specialists sleep disorder accept arrangement


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design