Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

sexual sex therapy orlando assessment overeating habits respect problem psychological evaluations loved sex offender therapist brain support litigation buried memories spouses treatment PTSD child development prioritization co-parenting therapy growth talk therapy cheated friendship neuroanatomy child therapists in orlando unconventional couple's therapy abuse reassurance questions repression stress-relieving estates relocation disputes evaluation newly divorced needs marriage troubles address habits deserves neuropsychologists divorce trial doctor attorney Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations malicious divorce tools self-expression behavior friends personality agreement marry monetary value repressed improving learning and growth licensed psychologist litigation support success act out family therapy suppression neuropsychological evaluations suppressed caring behaviors family mediation help relationships without bias influential families psychologist property Orlando neuropsychologist disorder advantageous behavior modification state of mind psychological evaluation infidelity aftermath attorneys masturbation The Florida Bar boundary sex therapy Orlando hypnotherapy access persona paternity family affair expectation child's mental state family psychotherapy expression mess of a divorce relationship sadness consult sexual addiction married disputes unsettling life event therapist children deal intense orientation confusion Orlando collaborative divorce mental state marriage counseling family counseling orlando intimacy procedure navigate boundaries Orlando therapists Orlando supervised visitation sexual satisfaction expectations time-sharing mediates heart autonomy sex offender therapy depression listening emotions evaluate accept influence habit undergo improve stress sexual trauma personal fulfillment call it quits sexual behavioral problems court healing smoking cessation valued another values parent Orlando psychologists anxiety improve sexual satisfaction non-monogamy not his fault risks anti-anxiety phobia access repressed thoughts psychologists Competency Restoration Training conflict healthy habits neurodevelopmental disorders delicate topic undergo hypnosis caring Orlando mediation delicate cheater help relationship adjustment out of court substance abuse acceptance scientists mental states psychotherapy mismatched sex drives relationship models shades of grey behaviors dynamic prenuptial agreements divorce coaches effective beginning couples counseling communication problem sleep disorder acting out unconscious infidelity politicians parents unsettling lying mind counseling messy divorce partners multiple personality disorder aftermath one another couples studies mental illness specific problem long-term relationship child abuse psychology swing live apart separation divorce education orlando qualified modification relationship boundaries leave topics for discussion divorcing love consultants talking points addiction divided forensic psychological evaluations consultation psychology orlando overeating phobias psychologists orlando priorities different self better the relationship fulfillment arrangement orlando sex therapy assess swingers molestation swinging negotiations therapy troubled monitored exchange courts craving management mediators Orlando psychotherapy Parenting Coordination Program couple's problems repressed thoughts divorce mediation digital medicine memories sex offender disorders psychotherapist parenting plan judge collaborative law withstand challenges development courage treatments relationship therapy child psychologist orlando dynamics sex dealing with stress collaborative divorce sexual avoidance determine clarify priorities techniques mental health counselor neurological abnormality Parenting Coordinator professional sexual monogamy friendly terms before the divorce clarify help self value system dealing with anxiety divided loyalties class orlando smoking struggling cheated-upon hypnosis communication psychiatric foundation psychotherapy orlando issues sleep disorders parenting plans medical therapist's roles thoughts ideal activities struggling child develop withstand law enforcement specialists communication problems post traumatic stress disorder relaxation family counseling qualified therapist respectfully repressed memories trauma mediator settlement forensic psychology adult satisfaction Orlando family mediator Orlando sex offender therapy lawyers modern relationship anxious better developments Orlando Family Mediation agree relief child custody hopeless loves trial appropriate ways neuropsychologist sex therapist psychological marriage problems bias towards hypnotherapy mental health contested custodies law enforcement consultants problems lover bias learning social pragmatic communication disorder Neuropsychology qualified sex therapist cheating marriage alimony spouse mental examination scientist psychosexual evaluations relationships fault withdraw Cooperative Parenting Institute discussion conflict resolution Orlando parenting plan evaluations swinger addressed psychometrist relationship woes challenges Orlando psychologist unconventional arrangement legal mental health services partner psychologists in orlando partner violence life event modern relationships delicate topics sexual enrichment grief parent coordination suffering alternative medicine Orlando mediators marriage counseling orlando fl

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design