Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

The Benefits to Settling Your Conflict through Mediation rather than the Courtroom

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Tuesday, November 11, 2014

There are times when conflicts cannot be settled without a third party, but it is hard to come to the decision to settle a conflict in court. Fortunately, there is the alternative option of Orlando Family Mediation. Mediation helps resolve disputes between two or more parties without going to court. In the case of mediation, the neutral third party, which is Psychological Affiliates, facilitates the process of the two parties coming to an agreement. Family mediation may include prenuptial agreements, separation, divorce, alimony, child custody, estates, and family businesses.


There are many benefits to settling your conflict through mediation rather than court, namely time and money. While settling a conflict in court may take a minimum of months to even years, mediation could potentially take a minimum of a few hours. Due to this, the cost is also traditionally less expensive than settling a conflict in court. Another benefit to settling a conflict through mediation is control. If a conflict is settled in court, a jury or judge has the final say. If it is settled through mediation, both parties have more input on the outcome. Due to this, it is more likely that both parties will be content with the outcome rather than just one side. 


Robert Bush and Joseph Folger, two pioneers of one of the approaches to mediation, wrote “Across the mediation field, mediation is generally understood as an informal process in which a neutral third party with no power to impose a resolution helps the disputing parties try to reach a mutually acceptable settlement” in their novel The Promise of Mediation (2005). They emphasized how important it is for mediators to remain unbiased through the process. Like a jury, mediators see both sides of the situation. It is unethical for them to choose one side over the other. This unbiased opinion truly helps settle the conflicts clients may be facing with the best outcome possible for both sides.

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Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

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Collaborative Law

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Monday, November 04, 2013

In collaborative law, a couple wishing to divorce works with their lawyers, and often, their psychologists, in order to settle the matter out of court. This kind of law is much cleaner than taking a divorce to trial, where often both the spouses and their lawyers will turn towards malicious in-fighting and dirty tactics in order to get the judge to rule in their favor. In this method of divorce, the lawyers and the spouses can work together to find a settlement that is amenable not just for each other, but also for the children and for the property. Though the negotiations can go on for days or even months, studies show that divorces out of court tend to be more amicable and any children from the marriage are better adjusted.

 

Psychologist are not only brought in in order to evaluate a child who might be having a difficult time with his parents’ divorce, he is also brought in to assess the mental states of the parents, and to determine if it is safe for the child to be placed with either parent. They may also be consulted in order to determine the relative worth of items which are being divided. There is rarely only monetary value involved in divorce disputes, and often a psychologist can clear the air and help the couple reach a more peaceful agreement, one based on facts, rather than on emotions.

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