Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


neurological abnormality anxious psychologist Orlando therapists mediation divorcing consultants act out therapy memories caring behaviors collaborative law mediator live apart parent persona problems swing overeating habits litigation relationship newly divorced infidelity communication problems treatment treatments time-sharing estates support needs learning another litigation support adjustment qualified smoking sexual behavioral problems personal fulfillment adult affair messy divorce judge orientation confusion improve law enforcement consultants advantageous therapists in orlando contested custodies relationships deserves modern relationships divorce friendship neurodevelopmental disorders property mental illness improving parenting plans techniques studies sex offender sexual satisfaction masturbation self-expression families The Florida Bar attorney psychologists in orlando scientists court relationship woes overeating law enforcement specialists mental state clarify psychiatric caring child psychologist orlando relocation disputes anti-anxiety better the relationship bias towards cheated marriage counseling navigate child's mental state leave paternity post traumatic stress disorder stress multiple personality disorder abuse listening malicious divorce relaxation unconscious therapist's roles sexual avoidance co-parenting therapy delicate topics agree family counseling psychotherapist talking points licensed psychologist sex therapy Orlando parenting plan evaluations healing Orlando family mediator orlando sex therapy long-term relationship marriage counseling orlando fl doctor marriage friends family psychotherapy satisfaction monitored exchange boundaries influence sexual addiction infidelity aftermath forensic psychological evaluations psychological mismatched sex drives sexual enrichment fault Orlando psychologist unsettling molestation help relationships deal fulfillment mediators self phobia reassurance Orlando psychologists family mediation expectations without bias success influential digital negotiations assess scientist parenting plan parent coordination cheated-upon non-monogamy repressed memories disorders swinger professional friendly terms mental health counselor cheater loves sex offender therapist forensic psychology one another psychometrist couple's problems life event lover couples consultation clarify priorities modern relationship Orlando neuropsychologist alternative medicine appropriate ways help relationship social pragmatic communication disorder suffering mental health marriage troubles arrangement neuropsychologist habits mind phobias access repressed thoughts sex therapy orlando effective trauma trial separation troubled politicians mental states emotions sexual trauma sleep disorders intense valued stress-relieving grief married ideal anxiety hypnosis psychological evaluations family counseling orlando topics for discussion respectfully habit values shades of grey psychosexual evaluations repressed thoughts behaviors Orlando mediation Orlando hypnotherapy improve sexual satisfaction withstand disputes swingers smoking cessation relationship boundaries address autonomy Orlando mediators determine acceptance unconventional children lying psychology orlando parents Neuropsychology psychologists love psychologists orlando Orlando collaborative divorce monetary value substance abuse spouses challenges undergo talk therapy questions before the divorce hopeless disorder cheating attorneys heart communication problem struggling child dealing with stress relief foundation Competency Restoration Training call it quits beginning psychotherapy sexual divided state of mind suppression buried memories discussion delicate topic respect neuroanatomy partner violence undergo hypnosis specific problem swinging modification not his fault boundary growth Cooperative Parenting Institute thoughts repression behavior delicate dynamics neuropsychologists mediates Parenting Coordinator couples counseling consult marriage problems accept behavior modification priorities psychological evaluation bias partners dynamic conflict resolution marry communication dealing with anxiety mental examination evaluate unconventional arrangement Orlando psychotherapy value system hypnotherapy courts craving management psychology intimacy help settlement healthy habits development divorce coaches neuropsychological evaluations learning and growth loved child custody relationship therapy risks withdraw addiction partner develop expectation depression family PTSD Orlando supervised visitation divorce education orlando sleep disorder divorce trial mental health services problem developments sex struggling courage counseling addressed Orlando Family Mediation withstand challenges qualified therapist prenuptial agreements suppressed spouse alimony tools better therapist aftermath relationship models family therapy medicine assessment unsettling life event out of court sadness Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations brain access evaluation collaborative divorce repressed sexual monogamy activities conflict Parenting Coordination Program lawyers child abuse medical acting out qualified sex therapist divided loyalties class orlando legal personality different self issues procedure couple's therapy mess of a divorce expression sex therapist sex offender therapy Orlando sex offender therapy child development prioritization agreement child psychotherapy orlando


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design