Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

before the divorce success healthy habits craving management fulfillment mismatched sex drives effective psychiatric Neuropsychology sex intense scientists development sexual monogamy relationship therapy behavior modification post traumatic stress disorder relationship influential support expectation agree activities qualified therapist suffering doctor psychologists orlando topics for discussion scientist talk therapy couples caring licensed psychologist divorcing undergo hypnosis parents challenges adult monetary value questions forensic psychological evaluations partner violence delicate topics multiple personality disorder tools newly divorced loves better sexual behavioral problems stress unsettling growth learning withstand communication problems parent settlement life event not his fault evaluation therapy negotiations address help relationships psychologists in orlando marriage Parenting Coordination Program mind cheater different self lover psychology orlando one another mental state collaborative divorce Orlando psychologist Orlando family mediator marriage counseling orlando fl accept psychological appropriate ways masturbation friends studies acting out addressed child development mess of a divorce child abuse courage sex offender therapy cheating assess sex therapist dealing with anxiety suppression attorney neurological abnormality hypnotherapy spouse developments therapists in orlando deserves arrangement modern relationships psychotherapist psychotherapy orlando valued hopeless behaviors mental states swingers boundaries consultants divorce relationship woes unconventional emotions repressed thoughts access divided loyalties class orlando Parenting Coordinator Orlando psychologists dealing with stress Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations marriage counseling children communication repression couple's problems dynamic PTSD estates improving substance abuse court child therapist's roles undergo couples counseling bias towards satisfaction psychologists out of court act out acceptance without bias needs Orlando Family Mediation family counseling Orlando sex offender therapy Orlando supervised visitation psychology psychologist unconscious ideal addiction expectations friendship anxiety determine repressed reassurance mediation Orlando therapists personality psychological evaluations repressed memories marriage troubles heart digital spouses messy divorce families trial relief techniques orientation confusion molestation live apart neuropsychologists develop priorities divided communication problem consult beginning disorder suppressed treatments anti-anxiety family autonomy state of mind deal withdraw brain partner listening unconventional arrangement thoughts behavior neurodevelopmental disorders The Florida Bar loved social pragmatic communication disorder help expression friendly terms child psychologist orlando lying non-monogamy shades of grey partners contested custodies affair counseling love clarify prioritization better the relationship overeating orlando sex therapy call it quits relaxation swinging intimacy clarify priorities sex therapy orlando sexual enrichment neuropsychological evaluations assessment attorneys advantageous sleep disorder boundary malicious divorce swinger litigation forensic psychology buried memories mental health services mental health counselor marry relationships treatment monitored exchange mental illness adjustment smoking cessation long-term relationship discussion trauma sexual improve neuroanatomy respect relationship boundaries agreement hypnosis specific problem sexual avoidance issues mediator overeating habits collaborative law fault legal qualified sex therapist infidelity modification memories disputes conflict sexual satisfaction courts mediators leave phobia marriage problems Orlando mediation time-sharing grief divorce trial Orlando parenting plan evaluations co-parenting therapy anxious law enforcement specialists alimony separation modern relationship consultation sex offender therapist psychometrist procedure problems Cooperative Parenting Institute learning and growth evaluate help relationship psychotherapy problem married dynamics risks self-expression navigate child's mental state divorce education orlando another unsettling life event struggling child judge child custody family mediation divorce coaches parenting plans professional self Competency Restoration Training foundation family psychotherapy therapist value system sexual trauma conflict resolution abuse sex offender Orlando neuropsychologist mental examination withstand challenges talking points alternative medicine cheated-upon family counseling orlando caring behaviors medical Orlando psychotherapy psychological evaluation delicate topic struggling troubled phobias personal fulfillment infidelity aftermath Orlando collaborative divorce neuropsychologist improve sexual satisfaction aftermath law enforcement consultants mediates sexual addiction politicians smoking Orlando mediators parenting plan psychosexual evaluations respectfully values access repressed thoughts relationship models prenuptial agreements mental health cheated medicine habits lawyers property sadness Orlando hypnotherapy paternity disorders healing sleep disorders stress-relieving swing depression litigation support delicate couple's therapy parent coordination persona influence family therapy habit sex therapy relocation disputes qualified bias

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design