Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


law enforcement consultants parenting plans infidelity aftermath habits Cooperative Parenting Institute family psychotherapy boundaries divorce suppressed better personality non-monogamy monitored exchange learning estates Orlando mediation delicate topics courts child mental states undergo hypnosis psychology repressed thoughts support counseling topics for discussion children trial collaborative law navigate modern relationships mediator healthy habits better the relationship parent value system Orlando Family Mediation valued lawyers troubled courage law enforcement specialists sleep disorder influence communication problems time-sharing anti-anxiety spouse bias trauma molestation determine neuropsychologist withdraw sex offender therapist malicious divorce caring sadness qualified sex therapist adjustment parent coordination dealing with stress Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations divided swinging child development Orlando collaborative divorce prioritization mediates sex offender therapy beginning substance abuse abuse qualified therapist expectation values withstand emotions masturbation fault The Florida Bar techniques mental examination phobias treatments acceptance divorce education orlando Orlando hypnotherapy heart digital Orlando therapists relationship woes psychotherapy orlando assess access repressed thoughts out of court anxious newly divorced child abuse long-term relationship swingers couples neuroanatomy love addiction social pragmatic communication disorder brain intimacy Orlando psychologists listening unsettling life event politicians unsettling needs psychotherapist risks psychologists in orlando neuropsychologists consult help relationships self-expression conflict consultation depression settlement healing forensic psychological evaluations collaborative divorce neurological abnormality sexual addiction Parenting Coordination Program advantageous assessment respectfully couples counseling relief suffering cheated PTSD behavior modification lover development sex divorce coaches grief modern relationship persona sexual psychological evaluations intense caring behaviors Orlando family mediator scientist mental health services phobia sleep disorders cheater problems undergo modification develop partner violence lying leave loved accept mental illness divorce trial cheated-upon contested custodies thoughts swing relationship boundaries disorders friendly terms agree mental health counselor sexual behavioral problems Orlando parenting plan evaluations clarify priorities relocation disputes dynamic couple's problems deal partners court medical disputes boundary prenuptial agreements developments unconscious psychosexual evaluations self effective Orlando sex offender therapy messy divorce sexual trauma spouses friendship access therapist family mediation orlando sex therapy sexual satisfaction stress treatment improving clarify behavior sexual monogamy multiple personality disorder success mind activities smoking loves relationships friends paternity family counseling orlando habit mediation questions sex offender disorder problem Neuropsychology partner attorney qualified arrangement therapist's roles litigation support married neurodevelopmental disorders anxiety relaxation life event act out couple's therapy repressed sex therapist state of mind one another improve shades of grey relationship marriage troubles live apart property improve sexual satisfaction struggling child challenges smoking cessation dynamics talking points alternative medicine addressed specific problem psychological Orlando psychologist conflict resolution different self Competency Restoration Training issues child psychologist orlando Parenting Coordinator without bias alimony overeating psychometrist dealing with anxiety sex therapy marry medicine satisfaction marriage hypnotherapy relationship therapy negotiations talk therapy marriage problems unconventional unconventional arrangement overeating habits Orlando supervised visitation doctor mess of a divorce families growth therapy cheating procedure communication problem evaluate divided loyalties class orlando appropriate ways reassurance child custody therapists in orlando hypnosis not his fault help relationship sexual enrichment delicate topic relationship models sex therapy orlando licensed psychologist bias towards mediators infidelity family stress-relieving psychologist psychotherapy delicate call it quits Orlando psychotherapy litigation parents before the divorce behaviors divorcing discussion evaluation struggling respect priorities agreement psychology orlando acting out post traumatic stress disorder influential family therapy fulfillment Orlando mediators legal expectations help suppression monetary value co-parenting therapy deserves address attorneys mental health child's mental state hopeless scientists forensic psychology craving management affair marriage counseling orlando fl swinger psychologists studies parenting plan mismatched sex drives orientation confusion adult ideal autonomy buried memories aftermath personal fulfillment consultants separation psychologists orlando communication foundation expression withstand challenges tools repressed memories mental state another psychiatric sexual avoidance professional learning and growth judge marriage counseling Orlando neuropsychologist memories psychological evaluation family counseling repression neuropsychological evaluations


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design