Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

value system dealing with anxiety accept sexual enrichment boundaries sex therapist help bias towards listening behavior agree discussion psychology orlando different self mental states therapy mental health phobia dynamics psychology one another Orlando sex offender therapy developments treatments appropriate ways cheating swinging psychological evaluation divorce delicate mediator Orlando Family Mediation access repressed thoughts monetary value sex offender marriage counseling intimacy withdraw Orlando neuropsychologist delicate topics respect repressed thoughts counseling personality arrangement post traumatic stress disorder time-sharing families sex offender therapist specific problem risks child development evaluate alternative medicine family mediation settlement state of mind newly divorced divorce education orlando mental illness couples lying improve therapist's roles negotiations children divorce coaches attorney behaviors orlando sex therapy sex therapy orlando scientists Orlando mediators stress evaluation buried memories affair qualified therapist develop couple's therapy development learning family counseling partners law enforcement consultants deserves medicine challenges relationship models repressed memories Orlando parenting plan evaluations relationships values qualified sex therapist orientation confusion neuroanatomy behavior modification legal suppressed Parenting Coordinator satisfaction masturbation property success prenuptial agreements respectfully child psychologist orlando neurological abnormality marriage troubles digital access mental state modern relationship family psychotherapy clarify priorities depression therapist sexual collaborative divorce topics for discussion relaxation Orlando psychologist cheated-upon molestation divorce trial addressed parenting plan judge social pragmatic communication disorder thoughts acceptance conflict resolution improving parents spouses Cooperative Parenting Institute Orlando psychotherapy collaborative law psychometrist lawyers mediation forensic psychology PTSD Orlando therapists unconscious psychiatric psychological evaluations spouse troubled problem sexual behavioral problems another loves friendship brain leave relationship disputes repression live apart marry disorders mismatched sex drives non-monogamy sexual addiction courage suffering doctor abuse therapists in orlando psychologists orlando marriage psychotherapy unconventional separation smoking prioritization issues marriage problems clarify healing consultation fault monitored exchange psychologist Orlando family mediator help relationships sex offender therapy assess swing overeating habits unsettling Parenting Coordination Program influential sexual trauma struggling family therapy address relationship boundaries relationship therapy stress-relieving sexual satisfaction messy divorce communication problems support psychosexual evaluations married psychotherapy orlando anxious sleep disorders Orlando hypnotherapy infidelity aftermath expectations call it quits psychologists unsettling life event adult autonomy forensic psychological evaluations relocation disputes problems not his fault neuropsychologist beginning out of court law enforcement specialists improve sexual satisfaction agreement family counseling orlando licensed psychologist assessment activities relief medical Orlando psychologists modern relationships withstand effective child dealing with stress procedure parent coordination child custody expectation sex therapy reassurance anxiety sexual avoidance hypnotherapy better the relationship Neuropsychology alimony intense psychologists in orlando studies swingers scientist cheater growth hopeless addiction heart court phobias memories aftermath attorneys habit personal fulfillment parenting plans mediators foundation mental examination co-parenting therapy habits mental health counselor lover love multiple personality disorder hypnosis undergo hypnosis boundary determine bias Orlando collaborative divorce undergo without bias couples counseling swinger couple's problems struggling child sadness suppression Competency Restoration Training mediates smoking cessation treatment withstand challenges divided sex adjustment paternity techniques infidelity partner self-expression trial partner violence consult shades of grey disorder anti-anxiety neuropsychological evaluations child abuse ideal emotions Orlando supervised visitation caring behaviors craving management better mess of a divorce litigation support sexual monogamy self unconventional arrangement long-term relationship acting out psychological communication problem litigation contested custodies questions valued repressed politicians cheated life event neuropsychologists marriage counseling orlando fl deal psychotherapist modification influence caring navigate priorities sleep disorder talk therapy learning and growth trauma friends before the divorce parent relationship woes mind advantageous consultants courts fulfillment loved family professional delicate topic talking points healthy habits divided loyalties class orlando Orlando mediation needs substance abuse overeating dynamic qualified act out persona help relationship friendly terms grief child's mental state neurodevelopmental disorders conflict mental health services expression communication malicious divorce estates Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations tools The Florida Bar divorcing

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design