Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


support disorder acceptance mediator accept different self communication problems Orlando Family Mediation prenuptial agreements sexual monogamy troubled swinger children sex offender therapist one another paternity neuropsychologists evaluation overeating self malicious divorce assess psychologists thoughts trial neuropsychological evaluations mediates friends psychologists in orlando call it quits multiple personality disorder activities relocation disputes influential self-expression repression improve hopeless Orlando psychotherapy expectation behaviors anxiety suffering time-sharing suppression consult alimony intimacy dealing with anxiety partner violence prioritization life event relationship qualified Orlando psychologists friendship mental state parent undergo hypnosis sexual trauma brain clarify phobias mediation habits sex offender therapy cheater parenting plans sex therapy orlando dynamic leave swinging family mediation live apart without bias mental health services forensic psychology another struggling sex offender depression topics for discussion delicate topics lying smoking hypnotherapy listening attorney psychology orlando emotions sexual avoidance growth talking points modification respect psychology long-term relationship sex therapy molestation repressed modern relationship couple's problems divorce trial psychologists orlando improving talk therapy questions Orlando supervised visitation Orlando mediators litigation support disputes partner memories contested custodies unconventional arrangement priorities fulfillment collaborative divorce smoking cessation parenting plan autonomy qualified therapist withstand challenges relaxation marriage troubles psychotherapy co-parenting therapy adult Orlando neuropsychologist relief Orlando mediation The Florida Bar act out divorce coaches licensed psychologist qualified sex therapist bias beginning separation collaborative law out of court neuroanatomy dealing with stress Orlando parenting plan evaluations unconventional marry healing unconscious sexual enrichment learning and growth address family counseling satisfaction PTSD psychological evaluations before the divorce studies determine grief relationship therapy mental illness courage scientist abuse relationship boundaries child development agreement clarify priorities orlando sex therapy monitored exchange healthy habits sleep disorders doctor forensic psychological evaluations swing navigate help relationship friendly terms aftermath expression expectations marriage counseling state of mind deal Orlando hypnotherapy values access boundaries psychotherapist modern relationships child custody child's mental state boundary mediators persona psychosexual evaluations hypnosis divorce education orlando monetary value mental health counselor post traumatic stress disorder therapists in orlando valued Orlando psychologist litigation mental health risks dynamics masturbation therapist reassurance help relationships appropriate ways politicians mess of a divorce family therapy conflict resolution shades of grey cheated loved tools digital procedure disorders specific problem effective phobia delicate consultants social pragmatic communication disorder Neuropsychology Parenting Coordination Program affair loves estates swingers infidelity newly divorced issues Cooperative Parenting Institute Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations needs adjustment deserves arrangement love neurodevelopmental disorders parent coordination medicine ideal neuropsychologist family psychotherapy withdraw couple's therapy behavior modification therapy cheating improve sexual satisfaction family child psychologist orlando cheated-upon sexual satisfaction sex therapist marriage counseling orlando fl caring behaviors communication undergo suppressed unsettling intense mind personal fulfillment anti-anxiety infidelity aftermath married challenges relationship models help access repressed thoughts advantageous negotiations behavior influence addressed marriage problems problems mismatched sex drives lawyers courts child abuse property sexual divided attorneys marriage development buried memories substance abuse medical alternative medicine struggling child legal caring value system couples counseling law enforcement specialists sexual addiction lover spouses unsettling life event psychological evaluation discussion neurological abnormality respectfully child non-monogamy Orlando collaborative divorce evaluate techniques learning Orlando family mediator fault success stress professional better messy divorce therapist's roles Orlando sex offender therapy addiction problem divorcing mental examination psychiatric developments Orlando therapists habit assessment better the relationship delicate topic divorce treatment partners law enforcement consultants sexual behavioral problems craving management judge settlement anxious consultation families divided loyalties class orlando not his fault court counseling heart Competency Restoration Training psychologist sex overeating habits foundation treatments repressed thoughts psychometrist trauma Parenting Coordinator scientists repressed memories personality relationship woes stress-relieving bias towards family counseling orlando sadness orientation confusion parents withstand develop sleep disorder conflict psychological communication problem couples acting out agree psychotherapy orlando mental states spouse relationships


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design