Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


access repressed thoughts parent coordination trial self-expression psychological evaluations state of mind life event caring suppression suppressed litigation risks leave neurological abnormality communication problems mediator developments adjustment overeating habits divorce trial monitored exchange arrangement consultants couples not his fault act out emotions value system topics for discussion deserves mismatched sex drives Orlando collaborative divorce alimony habit psychology techniques family sexual trauma expectations acceptance non-monogamy partner violence issues newly divorced undergo hypnosis deal relationship models sex therapist dealing with anxiety law enforcement consultants lover politicians undergo forensic psychology divorce education orlando professional live apart marriage counseling court scientists marriage problems alternative medicine substance abuse beginning valued aftermath partner agree cheating qualified sex therapist intimacy sadness persona better hypnotherapy mess of a divorce buried memories withstand challenges assess Orlando hypnotherapy needs improving modification qualified delicate boundary malicious divorce relationship woes repression parent priorities trauma unconscious sexual monogamy mental health services values judge advantageous spouse prenuptial agreements repressed listening families Orlando therapists sexual avoidance Neuropsychology children married psychological neuropsychologists sleep disorder Orlando sex offender therapy behavior success couple's problems better the relationship paternity call it quits without bias phobia child abuse Competency Restoration Training delicate topic relationship boundaries sex offender therapist Parenting Coordinator mediators collaborative divorce parenting plans personal fulfillment anti-anxiety psychiatric activities relationship therapy consultation thoughts mind delicate topics therapists in orlando divided hopeless navigate parents modern relationships divorcing Parenting Coordination Program settlement addressed lawyers child development abuse forensic psychological evaluations accept suffering expectation courage mediation caring behaviors child neuroanatomy sex relocation disputes Cooperative Parenting Institute foundation struggling child address fulfillment psychosexual evaluations relationships therapist's roles disputes consult addiction behaviors long-term relationship Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations Orlando mediation sex therapy orlando development orientation confusion anxious cheated hypnosis The Florida Bar licensed psychologist expression access respect cheated-upon self satisfaction mental health treatment lying talking points intense help Orlando psychologists counseling bias assessment overeating boundaries contested custodies fault marriage disorder cheater modern relationship stress infidelity evaluate problems bias towards struggling messy divorce behavior modification family counseling orlando qualified therapist spouses relaxation phobias sex offender therapy mental examination withstand ideal litigation support couple's therapy Orlando neuropsychologist friendly terms therapist help relationships mental state adult appropriate ways out of court develop influence one another swinging Orlando psychotherapy learning and growth habits Orlando family mediator molestation dynamics clarify priorities infidelity aftermath before the divorce personality parenting plan swing psychologists orlando divorce loved attorney friendship challenges unconventional sex therapy unsettling family counseling reassurance smoking cessation learning psychometrist evaluation repressed thoughts discussion medical love support brain different self autonomy family therapy psychologist marriage counseling orlando fl mediates heart anxiety sexual communication problem orlando sex therapy acting out determine co-parenting therapy shades of grey loves sex offender mental health counselor studies mental illness dynamic estates grief Orlando mediators unconventional arrangement improve sexual satisfaction communication troubled sleep disorders effective help relationship digital procedure neuropsychologist psychological evaluation mental states psychotherapy negotiations post traumatic stress disorder conflict doctor Orlando psychologist improve family psychotherapy neuropsychological evaluations marriage troubles scientist stress-relieving friends questions memories neurodevelopmental disorders another multiple personality disorder agreement social pragmatic communication disorder psychology orlando sexual behavioral problems child custody healing separation prioritization repressed memories swingers clarify influential masturbation smoking marry law enforcement specialists relief psychotherapist swinger dealing with stress sexual satisfaction sexual enrichment Orlando supervised visitation withdraw time-sharing Orlando parenting plan evaluations healthy habits therapy attorneys divorce coaches psychologists in orlando partners property conflict resolution medicine couples counseling respectfully monetary value sexual addiction psychotherapy orlando problem disorders child psychologist orlando affair legal treatments craving management PTSD growth courts Orlando Family Mediation specific problem psychologists family mediation divided loyalties class orlando relationship collaborative law tools unsettling life event child's mental state depression talk therapy


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design