Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


mediates multiple personality disorder Orlando psychotherapy addressed monitored exchange questions discussion therapist psychotherapist call it quits co-parenting therapy delicate topics lover evaluate techniques agree adult another mental illness law enforcement consultants swinger communication problems cheating swinging licensed psychologist Orlando mediators communication problem procedure address needs family mediation value system arrangement mediators mind beginning influential develop before the divorce fault paternity Parenting Coordinator repressed thoughts live apart sex therapy orlando withstand challenges evaluation aftermath alimony craving management loved issues navigate family therapy family psychotherapy Orlando supervised visitation treatments assess divorce trial problem collaborative divorce couple's problems sexual enrichment attorney unconventional undergo hypnosis better Competency Restoration Training struggling child psychology orlando sex therapy politicians mental health counselor cheated-upon sex offender therapist leave growth personality deal therapists in orlando psychological evaluation sex offender Orlando psychologists therapist's roles property conflict resolution help relationships mental states marriage troubles smoking cessation orlando sex therapy therapy mediator sexual avoidance swing professional marriage counseling PTSD lawyers expectations grief studies infidelity post traumatic stress disorder self mental examination legal disputes intimacy improving memories expression self-expression hypnosis smoking influence child custody dealing with anxiety judge respect molestation contested custodies healthy habits caring behaviors family counseling orlando effective delicate litigation support habits newly divorced psychotherapy orlando consult Orlando collaborative divorce dynamics hypnotherapy suppression trauma marriage couples time-sharing mental health spouses psychologists medical appropriate ways reassurance state of mind one another collaborative law repression long-term relationship personal fulfillment sexual accept sexual monogamy attorneys partner violence Parenting Coordination Program assessment neuropsychologists psychologists orlando settlement clarify priorities trial heart sexual behavioral problems psychological court parent coordination challenges support activities divorce coaches behavior unsettling law enforcement specialists families acceptance substance abuse non-monogamy litigation mismatched sex drives withstand psychometrist problems mental health services sex therapist repressed memories masturbation learning relationship woes malicious divorce anxious prioritization modification estates children acting out withdraw developments partners negotiations respectfully satisfaction phobia struggling medicine sleep disorders not his fault valued stress talk therapy consultation repressed healing loves development help adjustment parenting plans relationship psychosexual evaluations child treatment access repressed thoughts hopeless family ideal help relationship Orlando neuropsychologist relaxation lying divorcing parent relief swingers troubled communication sexual trauma Orlando therapists talking points priorities marriage counseling orlando fl scientists psychology suppressed neurological abnormality Orlando hypnotherapy sexual satisfaction bias neurodevelopmental disorders listening Cooperative Parenting Institute foundation divided caring relationship boundaries sadness phobias intense different self modern relationships persona messy divorce relationships friendly terms cheater sex suffering bias towards couple's therapy neuropsychological evaluations boundary shades of grey cheated fulfillment agreement partner depression monetary value divided loyalties class orlando couples counseling Orlando family mediator alternative medicine without bias clarify determine relocation disputes topics for discussion Neuropsychology Orlando Family Mediation disorder digital divorce improve separation courts neuroanatomy life event relationship models Orlando sex offender therapy habit forensic psychological evaluations Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations parents sexual addiction love behavior modification advantageous friendship mental state stress-relieving orientation confusion out of court social pragmatic communication disorder better the relationship psychologist emotions modern relationship qualified therapist forensic psychology Orlando psychologist psychologists in orlando deserves psychiatric prenuptial agreements disorders friends qualified sex therapist overeating habits dynamic courage conflict consultants autonomy neuropsychologist values anxiety married spouse marry qualified unconventional arrangement Orlando mediation anti-anxiety relationship therapy The Florida Bar overeating psychotherapy child development divorce education orlando act out improve sexual satisfaction unconscious parenting plan buried memories mess of a divorce thoughts abuse delicate topic family counseling psychological evaluations boundaries child abuse sleep disorder addiction sex offender therapy brain tools dealing with stress specific problem risks infidelity aftermath unsettling life event expectation doctor child psychologist orlando counseling access affair Orlando parenting plan evaluations scientist mediation learning and growth success undergo marriage problems behaviors child's mental state


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design