Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

trauma grief psychotherapy orlando evaluation behavior repressed thoughts PTSD adult tools undergo intimacy arrangement brain boundaries law enforcement consultants sex collaborative divorce time-sharing needs parent coordination troubled emotions dealing with anxiety expectation neuropsychologist suppression addressed communication parenting plans mediator acceptance personal fulfillment delicate topic cheated sex therapy orlando professional help relationship digital learning psychologists orlando satisfaction expectations politicians Parenting Coordination Program Orlando supervised visitation qualified divorce trial relocation disputes hopeless divided undergo hypnosis values discussion improving delicate topics bias co-parenting therapy lying unconscious topics for discussion influential court delicate sleep disorder stress out of court swingers law enforcement specialists medical legal Orlando sex offender therapy value system Orlando parenting plan evaluations family counseling challenges children family counseling orlando courage phobias counseling stress-relieving boundary psychologists in orlando determine marriage developments develop modification masturbation Orlando therapists sex offender therapist partners acting out disputes parent sexual trauma The Florida Bar Orlando neuropsychologist live apart partner violence suppressed sex offender therapy problems sexual monogamy before the divorce beginning advantageous repressed memories success mental state post traumatic stress disorder intense infidelity aftermath self one another disorder address friends autonomy orlando sex therapy psychotherapist family therapy without bias phobia bias towards not his fault spouses craving management psychological evaluation neurodevelopmental disorders agree buried memories sexual couple's problems child attorney studies marriage counseling orlando fl treatment psychological Orlando psychologists newly divorced behaviors act out divorce relaxation expression cheater disorders foundation smoking cessation qualified therapist swinger Orlando psychologist attorneys child's mental state access neurological abnormality mental health talk therapy litigation psychologists communication problems prenuptial agreements negotiations addiction multiple personality disorder shades of grey issues adjustment assessment better the relationship behavior modification malicious divorce swing repressed sex therapist psychological evaluations struggling child child abuse specific problem aftermath courts marriage problems child development unconventional licensed psychologist questions affair medicine messy divorce another activities sexual satisfaction caring healthy habits divorce coaches psychotherapy procedure neuropsychological evaluations relationship therapy swinging learning and growth deal consultants effective child psychologist orlando lawyers talking points persona valued help priorities cheated-upon psychologist clarify priorities suffering dynamics heart improve assess personality scientist mental illness therapist mental states neuroanatomy treatments sadness child custody call it quits withdraw conflict resolution marriage counseling divided loyalties class orlando Competency Restoration Training anxious habits clarify sex therapy risks growth loves friendly terms sexual addiction long-term relationship Orlando mediators mediators dynamic consult respectfully Neuropsychology mental health services Orlando Family Mediation settlement psychosexual evaluations modern relationships therapy influence parenting plan trial development help relationships couples counseling prioritization reassurance consultation respect healing sexual behavioral problems molestation qualified sex therapist fulfillment Orlando psychotherapy abuse litigation support separation partner parents overeating thoughts divorcing deserves habit alimony divorce education orlando therapist's roles neuropsychologists marry psychology Orlando hypnotherapy family sex offender withstand substance abuse monetary value repression anxiety struggling mess of a divorce paternity Parenting Coordinator techniques different self relationship models caring behaviors family mediation mismatched sex drives monitored exchange hypnotherapy leave lover property Orlando family mediator psychology orlando cheating unsettling life event modern relationship Cooperative Parenting Institute orientation confusion evaluate anti-anxiety state of mind doctor support forensic psychology mental health counselor marriage troubles Orlando mediation better mental examination problem withstand challenges families psychometrist communication problem sexual enrichment dealing with stress memories therapists in orlando mediates friendship accept judge fault relief navigate collaborative law couple's therapy infidelity access repressed thoughts mediation depression hypnosis mind loved improve sexual satisfaction alternative medicine scientists relationship woes sexual avoidance Orlando collaborative divorce sleep disorders love relationship non-monogamy relationships overeating habits married smoking life event conflict social pragmatic communication disorder appropriate ways unsettling listening estates contested custodies unconventional arrangement agreement relationship boundaries spouse family psychotherapy couples psychiatric Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations self-expression ideal forensic psychological evaluations

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design