Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


psychotherapist mediates sex offender parenting plan sex navigate brain neuropsychologists respect mind courage expectations adult mental illness therapist's roles psychotherapy orlando co-parenting therapy Orlando supervised visitation before the divorce valued sexual behavioral problems family improve sexual satisfaction caring behavior PTSD psychologists therapists in orlando bias towards expectation help relationships Orlando parenting plan evaluations estates sex offender therapist Cooperative Parenting Institute counseling talk therapy smoking cessation families acceptance cheater doctor friendship respectfully another out of court law enforcement consultants repressed thoughts Parenting Coordination Program clarify priorities psychological evaluation leave law enforcement specialists relationship woes depression conflict treatment psychologists orlando priorities monitored exchange communication problems abuse mental states property emotions couple's problems orientation confusion sexual avoidance loved access repressed thoughts address behaviors friends hypnotherapy Orlando therapists neuroanatomy divorce friendly terms child custody influence foundation reassurance success hopeless develop professional access anxiety procedure negotiations trauma swinger psychotherapy sexual trauma collaborative law divorce education orlando improving discussion delicate growth marriage counseling orlando fl medicine marriage partner treatments cheated-upon without bias neurodevelopmental disorders fulfillment mismatched sex drives struggling child healing Orlando mediation memories withdraw Orlando neuropsychologist qualified sex therapist psychometrist love scientists psychology orlando developments couples counseling overeating orlando sex therapy marriage problems lover married communication problem heart techniques malicious divorce mess of a divorce phobia withstand smoking disorder swinging acting out psychological affair learning and growth craving management cheating Parenting Coordinator therapist consult delicate topic issues problems addiction sexual undergo hypnosis modification better psychiatric listening troubled addressed partner violence consultants contested custodies hypnosis court psychology withstand challenges expression Orlando psychologist divorce trial bias influential parents personal fulfillment parent coordination self-expression trial relationships agree satisfaction time-sharing politicians sexual enrichment psychosexual evaluations Neuropsychology anti-anxiety scientist family counseling orlando assess help relationship relief anxious alternative medicine child's mental state repressed relationship prioritization monetary value fault conflict resolution dynamics divorce coaches settlement struggling healthy habits different self determine shades of grey disorders separation sex therapist children litigation support collaborative divorce improve medical divorcing undergo challenges consultation Competency Restoration Training family mediation evaluate activities mental examination repressed memories paternity mental state dealing with stress development mediators family therapy topics for discussion multiple personality disorder stress-relieving legal call it quits partners molestation relocation disputes specific problem relationship therapy post traumatic stress disorder adjustment agreement talking points prenuptial agreements loves child psychologist orlando values value system qualified child suffering Orlando psychotherapy beginning unconventional arrangement communication messy divorce judge mediation personality long-term relationship social pragmatic communication disorder alimony habit neuropsychologist questions child abuse one another grief litigation digital boundaries tools Orlando collaborative divorce problem forensic psychological evaluations non-monogamy needs sadness dealing with anxiety accept delicate topics therapy autonomy unconscious behavior modification disputes psychologist divided loyalties class orlando not his fault unsettling overeating habits suppressed Orlando hypnotherapy persona lawyers forensic psychology spouse courts infidelity cheated substance abuse sex therapy orlando qualified therapist help intense neuropsychological evaluations Orlando Family Mediation assessment life event advantageous The Florida Bar infidelity aftermath relationship models dynamic intimacy relaxation couple's therapy sleep disorders effective suppression relationship boundaries attorneys buried memories sexual monogamy thoughts Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations psychological evaluations newly divorced better the relationship swingers risks family psychotherapy lying live apart sleep disorder clarify Orlando psychologists attorney neurological abnormality aftermath modern relationship evaluation state of mind parenting plans studies family counseling arrangement Orlando family mediator parent marry sex therapy masturbation support phobias divided deal Orlando mediators mental health services couples unsettling life event child development licensed psychologist stress sexual addiction sexual satisfaction spouses ideal appropriate ways learning caring behaviors marriage counseling self boundary modern relationships mediator repression act out unconventional swing deserves habits sex offender therapy mental health counselor mental health Orlando sex offender therapy marriage troubles psychologists in orlando


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design