Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


alternative medicine smoking cessation mediates swing dealing with anxiety addressed beginning deal healthy habits partner violence family mediation communication state of mind mismatched sex drives stress law enforcement consultants shades of grey self assessment partners anxiety thoughts deserves psychology orlando behavior Orlando psychologists loved satisfaction post traumatic stress disorder medical Orlando psychologist hopeless habits growth neuropsychologist psychological risks success malicious divorce mental health counselor relaxation troubled repressed behavior modification techniques mediator advantageous agreement disorder improving buried memories psychology friendly terms different self addiction Orlando hypnotherapy co-parenting therapy courts another craving management help relationships marry family spouse sex undergo hypnosis communication problem mental health services delicate topics couples counseling dealing with stress address undergo divided loyalties class orlando valued counseling modern relationships value system adult behaviors activities trauma orlando sex therapy settlement phobias sexual trauma problems grief aftermath paternity Parenting Coordinator without bias unconventional arrangement newly divorced relationship woes PTSD conflict withdraw delicate Cooperative Parenting Institute child intimacy communication problems disputes parents bias litigation personal fulfillment litigation support law enforcement specialists improve digital overeating fault partner politicians married The Florida Bar Orlando therapists collaborative law Competency Restoration Training act out qualified therapist loves foundation prioritization acting out assess modern relationship treatment doctor cheated families brain infidelity aftermath lawyers smoking divorcing agree improve sexual satisfaction love qualified sex therapist divided better psychological evaluation adjustment relationship boundaries psychometrist contested custodies caring multiple personality disorder persona divorce education orlando monitored exchange respectfully developments delicate topic therapy leave mental examination consultation sleep disorders tools mediation sleep disorder friendship help psychologists orlando unsettling life event children Orlando supervised visitation trial cheated-upon fulfillment sexual monogamy relationship expectations child abuse talking points family psychotherapy psychosexual evaluations family therapy Orlando Family Mediation anti-anxiety scientist child development mediators Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations determine conflict resolution treatments Orlando mediation access neurodevelopmental disorders overeating habits withstand marriage counseling qualified therapists in orlando sex offender therapy dynamic suppression child's mental state personality navigate monetary value support swinger social pragmatic communication disorder life event help relationship not his fault marriage troubles hypnotherapy hypnosis marriage problems unconventional couples masturbation needs prenuptial agreements cheater judge relationships parent relocation disputes sex therapist family counseling specific problem neuropsychological evaluations healing therapist learning and growth procedure Orlando collaborative divorce values struggling child neuropsychologists alimony psychotherapy attorneys problem anxious scientists sexual satisfaction phobia emotions family counseling orlando neuroanatomy friends unsettling long-term relationship courage sexual avoidance psychotherapy orlando suffering relationship therapy modification out of court mental state negotiations sexual enrichment estates talk therapy attorney live apart Neuropsychology psychological evaluations sex offender licensed psychologist separation evaluate parenting plans medicine sexual addiction questions divorce trial heart psychologist access repressed thoughts therapist's roles mental health parenting plan sex therapy orlando non-monogamy topics for discussion repressed thoughts psychologists in orlando sex therapy boundary suppressed sex offender therapist withstand challenges discussion legal caring behaviors neurological abnormality self-expression forensic psychology clarify priorities expectation depression child psychologist orlando expression abuse divorce arrangement Orlando parenting plan evaluations develop marriage counseling orlando fl lying dynamics sexual psychotherapist mind messy divorce relief parent coordination clarify effective child custody better the relationship Parenting Coordination Program call it quits psychiatric relationship models acceptance memories mess of a divorce affair one another Orlando neuropsychologist spouses swingers issues ideal development listening Orlando psychotherapy consult sadness studies sexual behavioral problems reassurance infidelity learning Orlando sex offender therapy intense couple's problems orientation confusion habit psychologists couple's therapy accept Orlando mediators respect lover bias towards boundaries property Orlando family mediator court appropriate ways substance abuse stress-relieving repression forensic psychological evaluations influence evaluation mental states struggling divorce coaches autonomy cheating time-sharing unconscious molestation swinging priorities influential professional before the divorce disorders repressed memories challenges marriage consultants mental illness collaborative divorce


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design