Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

infidelity marriage counseling forensic psychology Orlando neuropsychologist evaluate family counseling personal fulfillment professional leave lawyers sexual licensed psychologist loved swinging help habit conflict withstand challenges relationship therapy repressed shades of grey paternity call it quits married qualified sexual enrichment sexual trauma acting out family act out valued children discussion non-monogamy repressed thoughts neuropsychological evaluations sadness self-expression success disorders molestation forensic psychological evaluations partners agreement scientist medical estates address unconventional arrangement foundation sex therapy couple's problems before the divorce attorney expectations state of mind mental health treatment post traumatic stress disorder personality topics for discussion mediators life event suppressed courage sex offender therapist deserves divorce psychotherapy orlando repression PTSD priorities sex therapy orlando phobia time-sharing behavior persona consultation withdraw infidelity aftermath mismatched sex drives divided loyalties class orlando cheating orlando sex therapy psychologists in orlando communication thoughts Orlando mediation child development agree doctor values Orlando Family Mediation sex offender therapy assess fulfillment sleep disorders anxious child psychologist orlando relationship woes consult improving marriage troubles The Florida Bar hypnotherapy self risks counseling bias towards communication problem legal consultants judge stress marriage problems friendly terms family mediation autonomy advantageous Orlando psychotherapy delicate topic litigation without bias beginning unsettling life event talking points alternative medicine evaluation mental illness stress-relieving smoking contested custodies mind psychological evaluation parenting plans Orlando mediators suffering intense friendship mental health services Cooperative Parenting Institute sexual addiction couples Parenting Coordination Program communication problems behavior modification problem navigate access repressed thoughts struggling child Neuropsychology love monitored exchange digital social pragmatic communication disorder caring families divorce education orlando respectfully loves parent addiction delicate determine phobias issues therapist collaborative divorce help relationships learning politicians healing mental examination talk therapy addressed parents lying better influence craving management questions messy divorce Parenting Coordinator couples counseling cheated-upon property caring behaviors techniques collaborative law dynamics orientation confusion access develop psychology orlando Orlando psychologist dynamic psychiatric marriage family counseling orlando prioritization expectation Orlando collaborative divorce troubled disputes newly divorced spouse Competency Restoration Training healthy habits satisfaction bias divorcing neurological abnormality sexual satisfaction psychologist effective divorce trial overeating marry unconscious delicate topics alimony anti-anxiety value system arrangement emotions hypnosis brain substance abuse law enforcement consultants ideal relationship boundaries grief medicine family therapy better the relationship struggling psychotherapist mental health counselor aftermath buried memories psychosexual evaluations psychologists orlando therapist's roles adult parenting plan therapists in orlando monetary value accept learning and growth couple's therapy undergo overeating habits psychotherapy malicious divorce procedure reassurance tools relocation disputes withstand qualified sex therapist child abuse divided Orlando psychologists relationship models anxiety suppression Orlando sex offender therapy habits abuse problems Orlando therapists neuropsychologist undergo hypnosis repressed memories family psychotherapy masturbation parent coordination appropriate ways psychometrist swingers dealing with anxiety boundary mediates unsettling psychology challenges multiple personality disorder affair not his fault deal clarify scientists growth swinger mediator trial clarify priorities mediation child lover improve qualified therapist boundaries needs sexual behavioral problems psychological evaluations child's mental state co-parenting therapy prenuptial agreements sex therapist Orlando hypnotherapy sexual avoidance activities another Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations studies respect developments therapy neuroanatomy court Orlando supervised visitation improve sexual satisfaction Orlando family mediator help relationship partner violence behaviors psychological friends heart Orlando parenting plan evaluations listening settlement acceptance litigation support different self mental state modification assessment live apart influential intimacy partner treatments support out of court negotiations trauma modern relationships law enforcement specialists modern relationship one another separation adjustment specific problem unconventional disorder cheated relationships sex cheater fault divorce coaches attorneys relief smoking cessation dealing with stress long-term relationship expression neuropsychologists memories mental states hopeless sleep disorder sex offender conflict resolution child custody psychologists swing relationship spouses sexual monogamy marriage counseling orlando fl development depression neurodevelopmental disorders courts relaxation mess of a divorce

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design