Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

delicate topics neuropsychologist molestation suppressed expression addiction qualified therapist act out relationship woes topics for discussion divorce memories fulfillment treatment mental health problem marriage troubles PTSD Orlando psychologists modern relationship problems call it quits families qualified sex therapist courts hypnotherapy family state of mind property couple's problems attorneys spouses psychosexual evaluations medical parent modification qualified orientation confusion repressed thoughts child custody Orlando family mediator anti-anxiety sex divorcing agreement behaviors partner violence unsettling life event caring behaviors psychologists friendly terms listening boundary sleep disorder addressed not his fault clarify priorities phobias loves phobia parenting plans struggling child mediators smoking mess of a divorce access repressed thoughts delicate trial divorce trial consultation Orlando collaborative divorce paternity value system family psychotherapy beginning medicine self assessment psychology marriage problems address couples communication problems relief clarify Orlando parenting plan evaluations development therapist litigation support withstand challenges discussion conflict affair therapy The Florida Bar swingers disorder court law enforcement specialists consult thoughts intimacy advantageous substance abuse couples counseling consultants long-term relationship prioritization habit influence adult sexual addiction cheating lawyers self-expression child abuse divided undergo developments specific problem bias towards aftermath sexual enrichment Orlando sex offender therapy determine grief scientists Competency Restoration Training studies licensed psychologist psychological evaluation neurological abnormality alternative medicine sex therapist family counseling orlando dealing with anxiety respect multiple personality disorder agree courage mental health counselor Cooperative Parenting Institute divorce coaches Orlando mediators infidelity disputes neuropsychological evaluations neuroanatomy swinger malicious divorce psychometrist marriage counseling orlando fl challenges struggling expectation caring friendship family counseling Neuropsychology parent coordination mental examination psychologists in orlando couple's therapy hypnosis develop unsettling sadness psychotherapy foundation child psychologist orlando help anxious better intense buried memories bias collaborative divorce divided loyalties class orlando neurodevelopmental disorders partners relationships personality conflict resolution communication one another Orlando psychologist partner out of court troubled adjustment accept growth treatments sexual trauma tools dealing with stress mediates leave mediation collaborative law Orlando neuropsychologist ideal therapists in orlando abuse behavior Orlando hypnotherapy counseling Orlando therapists disorders psychiatric law enforcement consultants swing acting out psychological co-parenting therapy overeating habits talking points repression Orlando psychotherapy social pragmatic communication disorder psychologists orlando litigation forensic psychology expectations lying time-sharing access habits healing newly divorced divorce education orlando orlando sex therapy mediator withdraw anxiety infidelity aftermath questions negotiations deserves appropriate ways activities spouse sex therapy dynamic lover evaluation improve mismatched sex drives success before the divorce unconscious delicate topic neuropsychologists influential unconventional arrangement depression improving mental health services needs sex offender learning non-monogamy overeating forensic psychological evaluations autonomy withstand alimony sexual monogamy help relationship sexual avoidance Orlando Family Mediation risks relationship boundaries sexual trauma family therapy effective post traumatic stress disorder different self boundaries children cheater priorities heart improve sexual satisfaction cheated-upon cheated modern relationships marry parents support Parenting Coordinator professional psychologist monetary value suppression relationship loved legal psychotherapist Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations Orlando supervised visitation friends fault repressed mind married live apart therapist's roles judge child smoking cessation talk therapy psychotherapy orlando sexual satisfaction swinging learning and growth behavior modification Parenting Coordination Program persona help relationships brain sleep disorders repressed memories sexual behavioral problems marriage counseling communication problem techniques settlement undergo hypnosis relaxation arrangement navigate procedure dynamics stress-relieving personal fulfillment sex therapy orlando messy divorce relationship models hopeless masturbation scientist shades of grey politicians values better the relationship marriage deal valued healthy habits mental state contested custodies attorney craving management respectfully life event without bias assess parenting plan sex offender therapy prenuptial agreements doctor acceptance love child development mental states reassurance satisfaction sex offender therapist suffering psychology orlando another separation psychological evaluations child's mental state emotions issues estates family mediation mental illness monitored exchange evaluate relocation disputes Orlando mediation stress unconventional digital relationship therapy

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design