Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

developments not his fault issues valued forensic psychology appropriate ways dealing with stress psychologists in orlando Orlando psychologists address negotiations masturbation activities psychologist develop help relationship infidelity molestation dealing with anxiety deserves habits qualified communication problem repressed unsettling life event friendly terms personal fulfillment mediation sleep disorders therapist shades of grey estates relationship therapy caring behaviors malicious divorce monitored exchange stress another parent coordination access call it quits value system settlement mediator relaxation neuropsychologist qualified therapist relationship boundaries licensed psychologist suffering delicate topics loves out of court psychosexual evaluations effective specific problem marriage litigation support marriage counseling Orlando psychologist family counseling modern relationship Orlando mediation buried memories messy divorce expectations determine conflict resolution life event intense navigate behaviors hypnotherapy Orlando family mediator Cooperative Parenting Institute one another Parenting Coordination Program expression caring affair sex therapist better talk therapy Neuropsychology respectfully parents dynamic arrangement relief personality communication divorcing orientation confusion questions assessment grief trial lover mediators professional mental illness influence improve sexual satisfaction foundation time-sharing psychology orlando persona child's mental state intimacy sex offender therapy Orlando sex offender therapy access repressed thoughts priorities children growth discussion phobia newly divorced sex offender therapist law enforcement consultants depression psychology mess of a divorce consultants relationship woes adult paternity repressed thoughts Orlando collaborative divorce communication problems psychotherapist marriage counseling orlando fl co-parenting therapy child Orlando therapists suppressed married Orlando psychotherapy medical alimony neuroanatomy collaborative law evaluate adjustment divorce scientists success assess child abuse unsettling beginning cheating psychotherapy orlando qualified sex therapist better the relationship support sleep disorder therapist's roles psychiatric prioritization satisfaction Parenting Coordinator sexual behavioral problems swinging lying craving management property act out needs cheated healing behavior development anti-anxiety relocation disputes mental states mental state improving neuropsychologists Orlando mediators brain sex therapy orlando Orlando hypnotherapy mediates Orlando parenting plan evaluations respect techniques topics for discussion tools long-term relationship withstand partner violence family counseling orlando therapists in orlando struggling child accept PTSD evaluation unconventional phobias child development forensic psychological evaluations law enforcement specialists addiction trauma learning and growth studies Orlando Family Mediation social pragmatic communication disorder attorneys talking points anxiety psychologists orlando relationship parenting plans problem consultation legal without bias challenges conflict Orlando supervised visitation influential help relationships fulfillment family acting out love agree sex non-monogamy prenuptial agreements emotions mental health counselor family therapy child custody risks neurodevelopmental disorders courts behavior modification problems fault parent counseling psychologists disorders collaborative divorce politicians swinger cheater clarify priorities ideal before the divorce mismatched sex drives alternative medicine sexual satisfaction improve psychotherapy memories psychometrist courage neurological abnormality attorney judge boundary neuropsychological evaluations autonomy expectation suppression addressed dynamics learning thoughts therapy overeating mental examination unconventional arrangement sexual monogamy couples counseling state of mind unconscious doctor delicate swingers self-expression sex therapy struggling couples troubled friendship lawyers psychological evaluations modern relationships sexual leave partners marry loved consult substance abuse aftermath digital Competency Restoration Training delicate topic scientist marriage problems live apart sex offender medicine mind mental health different self litigation monetary value smoking Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations couple's therapy overeating habits psychological repressed memories sadness procedure relationships family psychotherapy sexual addiction sexual avoidance divorce education orlando disorder sexual trauma hypnosis advantageous help marriage troubles heart listening Orlando neuropsychologist abuse stress-relieving sexual enrichment swing treatments undergo hypnosis bias towards withdraw boundaries infidelity aftermath withstand challenges child psychologist orlando hopeless values contested custodies self psychological evaluation acceptance spouses The Florida Bar mental health services treatment friends family mediation families multiple personality disorder healthy habits modification spouse divided divorce coaches repression cheated-upon post traumatic stress disorder smoking cessation parenting plan disputes couple's problems deal partner anxious orlando sex therapy relationship models reassurance agreement court separation divorce trial bias clarify habit undergo divided loyalties class orlando

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design