Psychology Orlando

Why We Cheat

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

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How Family and Relationship Therapy can Improve Your Life

We’re all aware of the stereotype of psychologists, and others who practice psychology. However, this stereotype no longer reflects the reality of modern family relationship therapy, and how it really works.  In fact, this negative stereotype does a disservice to psychology in general and the public in particular, as it glosses over the fact that tens of millions of people have been helped through both family and relationship therapy over the years.  Let’s take a look at some of the benefits both therapies have to offer:

• Family Therapy

Family therapy assists patients in understanding how family issues impact them personally and from a greater family system perspective.  This can include problems related to parenting, parent-child relationships, a death or loss and more.

Orlando therapists guide families through an open communication process that helps them learn how to effectively express themselves and their feelings.  No matter what dysfunction your family may suffer from, family therapy can provide you with the tools and education you will need to work through the issues.

• Relationship Therapy

Relationship therapy focuses more on interpersonal relationships; usually a romantic partnership, such as a husband and wife.  An experienced therapist will ensure that both parties have the opportunity to share and discuss their feelings and issues with their partner.

Your Orlando therapist will use the principles of psychology to help you acknowledge your own issues, understand the perspective of your partner and learn new ways to relate to one another that are more productive.

You will find that much has changed in the field of psychology in recent years, and therapy has the potential to make a positive difference in your life, and the lives of those around you.

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