Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

learning neurological abnormality improving delicate thoughts psychotherapy orlando PTSD intimacy communication problems determine suppressed effective life event agreement loves family psychotherapy child's mental state medical clarify priorities habits Orlando family mediator help overeating habits satisfaction shades of grey law enforcement consultants autonomy doctor Orlando hypnotherapy dynamic marriage deserves stress-relieving licensed psychologist hypnotherapy digital divorce family counseling orlando sexual trauma advantageous different self talk therapy growth mental health counselor mental examination attorneys family mediation Orlando collaborative divorce arrangement personality sleep disorders deal mediator families Orlando mediation property sexual addiction smoking cessation Orlando therapists Orlando neuropsychologist healthy habits self sexual monogamy marry acting out topics for discussion litigation support Neuropsychology evaluation adult boundary law enforcement specialists sexual satisfaction addressed contested custodies divorce coaches relationship therapy Orlando Family Mediation sleep disorder relationship monetary value procedure partner value system accept relocation disputes forensic psychology politicians children buried memories relaxation psychotherapy court medicine social pragmatic communication disorder act out divorce education orlando withstand anxious disorders aftermath collaborative divorce family counseling disputes not his fault smoking heart stress bias towards conflict resolution modification psychosexual evaluations therapist's roles sex therapy orlando cheater mind boundaries swinger divided loyalties class orlando challenges long-term relationship one another neuropsychologists litigation love mediators better fulfillment state of mind substance abuse friends friendship grief newly divorced clarify appropriate ways sex therapist Parenting Coordination Program multiple personality disorder suffering psychologists in orlando therapist assess couples counseling learning and growth depression communication problem out of court divided dynamics spouses neuropsychologist tools lying marriage problems activities child custody foundation conflict qualified therapist courts disorder develop cheating separation caring navigate repressed thoughts qualified sex therapist needs marriage counseling orlando fl Orlando psychologists influence couples Orlando psychologist addiction treatment issues psychological evaluation phobias values friendly terms judge therapists in orlando fault relief techniques psychologists habit delicate topic adjustment negotiations self-expression mental state marriage troubles professional access anxiety support Orlando supervised visitation Parenting Coordinator parenting plan time-sharing unsettling life event sex therapy struggling sex offender therapy dealing with anxiety live apart consult consultants post traumatic stress disorder reassurance swingers relationships relationship woes communication infidelity aftermath discussion withdraw masturbation child development risks psychiatric psychology non-monogamy craving management prioritization estates leave evaluate psychometrist relationship boundaries sexual struggling child problems Orlando sex offender therapy improve call it quits sex alimony assessment parent coordination partner violence bias undergo hypnosis address married neuroanatomy help relationships persona hopeless success talking points family therapy child repressed memories brain parenting plans help relationship expression developments modern relationship valued scientists child psychologist orlando collaborative law improve sexual satisfaction influential specific problem mismatched sex drives divorce trial unconventional respect psychology orlando access repressed thoughts legal respectfully expectation sex offender therapist repressed orientation confusion partners child abuse anti-anxiety development malicious divorce parents intense psychologist cheated psychologists orlando personal fulfillment couple's therapy psychological evaluations Orlando mediators mediation relationship models without bias neuropsychological evaluations trauma mental health overeating divorcing withstand challenges couple's problems behavior modification settlement loved unconscious Competency Restoration Training studies courage family Orlando psychotherapy parent trial repression priorities attorney ideal infidelity problem cheated-upon monitored exchange abuse lawyers treatments before the divorce psychological mess of a divorce neurodevelopmental disorders listening delicate topics acceptance modern relationships phobia marriage counseling molestation mental illness mediates unsettling memories lover scientist sexual avoidance dealing with stress Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations therapy hypnosis orlando sex therapy alternative medicine co-parenting therapy The Florida Bar mental states caring behaviors unconventional arrangement sex offender sexual behavioral problems better the relationship agree questions affair behaviors messy divorce Cooperative Parenting Institute behavior Orlando parenting plan evaluations emotions sexual enrichment another counseling forensic psychological evaluations spouse prenuptial agreements beginning paternity expectations troubled consultation undergo qualified swing swinging healing sadness suppression mental health services psychotherapist

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design