Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

attorney buried memories tools doctor child divided swinger struggling studies children anti-anxiety collaborative divorce adjustment child psychologist orlando needs sex family counseling orlando mediator parent repressed mental health qualified dealing with anxiety dealing with stress family therapy effective accept marriage troubles mediates marriage counseling orlando fl conflict development appropriate ways mental state satisfaction parents parenting plan relationship boundary depression influential listening forensic psychology prenuptial agreements swing abuse respectfully Orlando parenting plan evaluations sexual monogamy medical sex therapy orlando neuroanatomy advantageous techniques property divorce partners Parenting Coordination Program infidelity Orlando family mediator couple's therapy child's mental state scientist orientation confusion fault settlement conflict resolution spouse boundaries communication discussion not his fault psychotherapy orlando psychological evaluation neurodevelopmental disorders intense partner different self priorities prioritization respect live apart mismatched sex drives unconscious communication problems consultation self-expression relationship models agreement court relationship boundaries overeating cheated-upon behavior modification personality alternative medicine undergo hypnosis deserves Orlando hypnotherapy value system masturbation family psychotherapy behaviors couple's problems psychometrist hopeless relief improve assess addressed psychologists long-term relationship expectation sleep disorders healthy habits estates sex therapist personal fulfillment success thoughts forensic psychological evaluations healing Orlando supervised visitation lawyers evaluate mental health services better the relationship sexual behavioral problems cheating expectations develop withstand challenges dynamics phobia Orlando sex offender therapy withdraw troubled families suppressed act out questions unsettling life event affair values married clarify priorities call it quits therapist delicate topics problem modern relationship medicine relationship woes dynamic qualified therapist neurological abnormality bias multiple personality disorder help relationship intimacy autonomy delicate cheater sleep disorder clarify time-sharing professional couples sex offender therapist life event disorders arrangement sex offender therapy courts leave scientists sexual enrichment Competency Restoration Training influence mental examination problems psychosexual evaluations craving management growth molestation neuropsychologist withstand treatments unconventional brain psychiatric newly divorced acting out grief sexual satisfaction alimony risks Orlando Family Mediation without bias couples counseling habits Orlando collaborative divorce litigation support caring behaviors relationships overeating habits anxiety digital loves out of court sexual social pragmatic communication disorder sadness contested custodies Parenting Coordinator relocation disputes modification swinging orlando sex therapy consultants sex therapy Orlando neuropsychologist state of mind repressed thoughts messy divorce separation hypnosis expression behavior Orlando mediators neuropsychologists trial child custody undergo before the divorce psychological evaluations communication problem one another spouses treatment struggling child support improving bias towards adult psychology orlando deal fulfillment foundation legal parenting plans consult marriage aftermath unconventional arrangement child abuse paternity divided loyalties class orlando marriage counseling sexual trauma access repressed thoughts divorcing challenges address Orlando psychologists counseling beginning shades of grey phobias addiction learning and growth repressed memories ideal smoking psychologists orlando negotiations mind family monetary value trauma sexual addiction judge reassurance valued substance abuse loved memories mental states access persona law enforcement specialists sex offender collaborative law unsettling help mental illness attorneys learning Cooperative Parenting Institute divorce trial talking points co-parenting therapy family mediation anxious courage infidelity aftermath stress-relieving friendly terms topics for discussion The Florida Bar PTSD monitored exchange child development better mediation caring relationship therapy swingers talk therapy Neuropsychology delicate topic non-monogamy Orlando psychotherapy self evaluation disputes Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations heart Orlando psychologist repression malicious divorce navigate lover specific problem cheated therapist's roles agree politicians psychological procedure marriage problems habit marry stress parent coordination psychology litigation psychotherapy mental health counselor lying improve sexual satisfaction relaxation acceptance smoking cessation partner violence qualified sex therapist therapy divorce coaches friends family counseling psychologist developments help relationships suppression law enforcement consultants activities mediators licensed psychologist suffering another Orlando mediation neuropsychological evaluations issues divorce education orlando disorder emotions hypnotherapy modern relationships friendship mess of a divorce post traumatic stress disorder determine sexual avoidance therapists in orlando psychologists in orlando assessment Orlando therapists psychotherapist love

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design