Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

thoughts swing autonomy medical techniques forensic psychological evaluations personal fulfillment buried memories fault effective mental examination talking points one another qualified therapist values monitored exchange acceptance Orlando collaborative divorce Orlando therapists post traumatic stress disorder courage problem emotions social pragmatic communication disorder delicate property access overeating partner ideal struggling marriage troubles repressed psychological evaluation courts sex offender therapy sexual monogamy Competency Restoration Training specific problem psychotherapy orlando judge therapists in orlando professional neuropsychological evaluations neuropsychologist learning and growth sex expression qualified priorities friends boundary psychology collaborative divorce boundaries conflict resolution consultants married cheated-upon influence expectations advantageous act out phobias messy divorce sexual satisfaction issues sadness unconscious marriage counseling appropriate ways talk therapy conflict help relationship questions alimony Orlando family mediator Orlando Family Mediation mediates prioritization risks marriage counseling orlando fl agreement fulfillment cheated friendship overeating habits behaviors psychological clarify attorneys improve sex therapy leave relaxation neurodevelopmental disorders accept unconventional mess of a divorce mediators mind therapist couples caring Orlando hypnotherapy child abuse procedure disputes relief spouse hypnotherapy medicine infidelity aftermath Parenting Coordination Program improving deal monetary value suppression navigate topics for discussion growth undergo scientist relocation disputes child dynamics Orlando sex offender therapy alternative medicine relationships heart withstand relationship woes improve sexual satisfaction habit Neuropsychology qualified sex therapist paternity malicious divorce suppressed sexual behavioral problems healing habits mental health clarify priorities orlando sex therapy communication court psychologists in orlando attorney child's mental state children sleep disorders sex therapist counseling withdraw therapy unsettling life event multiple personality disorder behavior modification developments sexual enrichment prenuptial agreements trial disorder psychotherapy family counseling without bias support parenting plans marriage problems divorce trial lawyers Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations aftermath sleep disorder repressed memories parent coordination mediation non-monogamy troubled foundation spouses mediator grief respect psychologists orlando Orlando psychologist unsettling discussion divorce coaches intense smoking stress divided loyalties class orlando unconventional arrangement infidelity sexual trauma Orlando parenting plan evaluations life event hopeless law enforcement specialists separation repressed thoughts estates mental state respectfully psychologist modern relationships litigation self relationship boundaries modification loves settlement therapist's roles dynamic contested custodies live apart problems expectation divorce education orlando love couples counseling craving management phobia deserves digital acting out substance abuse neuropsychologists hypnosis withstand challenges partners couple's problems child psychologist orlando mental health counselor politicians suffering sex therapy orlando before the divorce co-parenting therapy relationship family trauma needs marry cheating assessment struggling child friendly terms call it quits influential delicate topics better the relationship legal intimacy molestation persona psychological evaluations beginning not his fault personality psychologists valued parent family psychotherapy doctor dealing with stress bias towards evaluate out of court treatment dealing with anxiety satisfaction state of mind Cooperative Parenting Institute parents law enforcement consultants swinger anti-anxiety scientists mental health services consultation marriage sexual divorce consult child development learning caring behaviors reassurance collaborative law psychometrist treatments stress-relieving couple's therapy success adjustment tools licensed psychologist affair listening undergo hypnosis parenting plan sexual addiction partner violence Orlando mediation forensic psychology help relationships depression sex offender therapist healthy habits Parenting Coordinator develop adult divided delicate topic repression abuse mental states communication problems brain value system addiction relationship therapy modern relationship mismatched sex drives newly divorced agree communication problem negotiations family therapy another sexual avoidance psychotherapist masturbation arrangement loved better access repressed thoughts psychology orlando evaluation lying help The Florida Bar swinging addressed neurological abnormality anxious family counseling orlando development assess Orlando supervised visitation psychiatric different self long-term relationship neuroanatomy orientation confusion litigation support studies determine behavior activities challenges anxiety Orlando mediators divorcing PTSD smoking cessation self-expression disorders time-sharing sex offender Orlando psychologists swingers shades of grey Orlando neuropsychologist Orlando psychotherapy relationship models bias family mediation families cheater child custody mental illness lover memories address psychosexual evaluations

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design