Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

undergo hypnosis couple's therapy anxious accept beginning phobia sexual trauma reassurance sexual satisfaction sexual behavioral problems appropriate ways value system expectations marriage counseling mental examination molestation live apart healthy habits without bias help relationship marriage troubles growth swinger psychotherapist before the divorce Neuropsychology Orlando family mediator acceptance autonomy estates medicine psychotherapy orlando multiple personality disorder struggling child Orlando psychologists communication family mediation struggling priorities sex offender therapist evaluate address depression thoughts family counseling counseling Parenting Coordinator affair Orlando parenting plan evaluations withdraw relationship sex offender therapy heart mental health children married unconventional arrangement child abuse social pragmatic communication disorder aftermath clarify priorities psychosexual evaluations friendly terms acting out healing success boundary love mediators families conflict resolution Orlando hypnotherapy psychology therapist's roles qualified paternity couples expectation politicians therapists in orlando values partner violence better the relationship alternative medicine techniques craving management contested custodies lover lawyers boundaries qualified sex therapist mess of a divorce Parenting Coordination Program intimacy unconscious attorney advantageous Orlando psychologist sleep disorders monetary value sex therapy deal malicious divorce PTSD alimony relationship models satisfaction assess trial neuroanatomy different self loves family psychotherapy withstand challenges suppression prenuptial agreements spouses consultation mind doctor questions Competency Restoration Training another Orlando psychotherapy court treatments mental health counselor leave Orlando mediators infidelity behaviors courts collaborative divorce act out courage divorce child custody cheated-upon parent smoking dynamic therapist adult behavior relationship boundaries help development family counseling orlando mental states buried memories Orlando Family Mediation assessment Orlando mediation studies expression talk therapy behavior modification access marriage problems addressed agree parent coordination psychologists in orlando stress-relieving masturbation mediates disorders fulfillment overeating arrangement attorneys family therapy psychiatric Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations divided challenges procedure delicate topics disputes neuropsychological evaluations sexual avoidance parents consult psychotherapy personality neuropsychologist sex offender self-expression swingers improving cheater separation emotions psychologists Orlando therapists sex therapy orlando neurological abnormality fault sleep disorder loved sadness scientists life event divided loyalties class orlando child's mental state sexual addiction foundation not his fault long-term relationship relationship woes licensed psychologist call it quits couple's problems better learning and growth hypnotherapy parenting plans litigation overeating habits needs spouse repression bias towards topics for discussion Orlando sex offender therapy The Florida Bar Orlando supervised visitation unconventional effective sex persona valued abuse professional psychologist couples counseling legal clarify child psychologist orlando repressed thoughts brain activities develop evaluation caring behaviors modification psychological neurodevelopmental disorders marriage sexual settlement mental illness substance abuse swinging co-parenting therapy post traumatic stress disorder trauma sexual monogamy developments monitored exchange respectfully talking points cheated unsettling life event shades of grey forensic psychological evaluations relationships parenting plan relaxation Orlando collaborative divorce relief repressed memories property psychometrist non-monogamy agreement anti-anxiety repressed treatment smoking cessation messy divorce orientation confusion psychologists orlando hypnosis marry problem scientist cheating psychological evaluation divorce education orlando problems suppressed adjustment phobias lying out of court mismatched sex drives litigation support relocation disputes sexual enrichment habits modern relationship partner access repressed thoughts dealing with stress caring influence therapy risks unsettling time-sharing modern relationships swing bias child newly divorced improve sexual satisfaction neuropsychologists navigate dealing with anxiety anxiety undergo forensic psychology friends Orlando neuropsychologist ideal delicate partners suffering mediation relationship therapy specific problem issues one another influential divorce trial stress habit discussion digital psychological evaluations friendship infidelity aftermath judge Cooperative Parenting Institute hopeless improve sex therapist disorder qualified therapist consultants respect prioritization addiction help relationships communication problems communication problem divorce coaches law enforcement consultants medical collaborative law grief personal fulfillment mental state tools troubled state of mind deserves memories dynamics marriage counseling orlando fl intense determine orlando sex therapy withstand self learning divorcing negotiations child development family mental health services delicate topic support listening conflict psychology orlando law enforcement specialists mediator

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design