Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

collaborative law time-sharing psychology relationships not his fault grief smoking PTSD psychotherapy doctor couple's therapy withdraw couples counseling swingers help relationships life event divorce law enforcement consultants acting out monetary value relationship woes parenting plans counseling family psychotherapy mess of a divorce techniques Orlando mediation The Florida Bar influential help relationship law enforcement specialists mental health divided determine dealing with stress agree repressed lying unconscious Competency Restoration Training alimony anxious paternity marriage counseling orlando fl problem Cooperative Parenting Institute contested custodies repressed thoughts multiple personality disorder divorce education orlando suppression neuropsychological evaluations dynamic digital legal infidelity withstand struggling child negotiations cheating post traumatic stress disorder social pragmatic communication disorder neuropsychologist improve anxiety sexual behavioral problems overeating intimacy thoughts psychotherapy orlando Orlando supervised visitation sex therapy orlando call it quits valued treatment communication problem cheated-upon advantageous professional boundary communication mental examination litigation support emotions neurological abnormality masturbation monitored exchange sexual enrichment co-parenting therapy healing boundaries repressed memories sleep disorder couple's problems help sleep disorders influence messy divorce better the relationship clarify priorities acceptance smoking cessation respectfully families priorities marriage problems unsettling relationship models personal fulfillment suffering different self Orlando mediators attorneys prenuptial agreements navigate support sex offender therapist access assess orientation confusion satisfaction long-term relationship child custody delicate topic discussion appropriate ways mental states improve sexual satisfaction spouse mismatched sex drives collaborative divorce therapy qualified therapist mental illness Orlando psychotherapy ideal habits hopeless sexual avoidance bias unconventional psychologist marriage counseling friends psychotherapist mental health services mind child relief behavior modification addiction partner violence psychiatric improving develop settlement divorcing respect developments out of court psychology orlando undergo hypnosis bias towards hypnotherapy Orlando family mediator parent coordination overeating habits married parenting plan family swing modern relationships self sadness conflict marry caring personality behaviors access repressed thoughts mental health counselor habit forensic psychological evaluations delicate lover Orlando Family Mediation foundation mediation orlando sex therapy children therapists in orlando child psychologist orlando mediates divided loyalties class orlando learning and growth one another family counseling orlando family mediation Neuropsychology psychologists relaxation disorder affair talking points relationship brain consult Parenting Coordinator risks relocation disputes mediators without bias Orlando therapists marriage loved psychologists orlando trauma non-monogamy family therapy partner conflict resolution adjustment activities substance abuse relationship therapy swinging delicate topics Orlando collaborative divorce cheater alternative medicine expectations sexual monogamy self-expression neurodevelopmental disorders stress-relieving before the divorce disorders aftermath specific problem litigation court divorce trial infidelity aftermath heart agreement sexual satisfaction fulfillment expectation struggling swinger friendship caring behaviors psychologists in orlando issues deal expression child development qualified psychological evaluations talk therapy spouses estates mental state adult deserves better partners parents challenges topics for discussion assessment consultants clarify Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations love repression unsettling life event therapist's roles undergo medical questions sex therapy psychosexual evaluations separation sex offender scientist couples phobias withstand challenges listening evaluate troubled disputes live apart courts tools medicine reassurance stress unconventional arrangement buried memories autonomy anti-anxiety psychological evaluation growth problems Orlando hypnotherapy Orlando neuropsychologist child abuse parent prioritization healthy habits act out sex therapist persona lawyers molestation sex malicious divorce psychological attorney shades of grey dynamics memories mediator sex offender therapy beginning addressed needs Parenting Coordination Program psychometrist therapist learning development abuse behavior craving management neuroanatomy friendly terms accept loves marriage troubles scientists phobia depression consultation relationship boundaries neuropsychologists forensic psychology cheated procedure studies qualified sex therapist value system another newly divorced communication problems sexual fault child's mental state judge values address state of mind suppressed arrangement family counseling trial Orlando parenting plan evaluations sexual trauma effective property success evaluation hypnosis courage sexual addiction Orlando psychologist licensed psychologist intense dealing with anxiety modification Orlando sex offender therapy treatments leave politicians divorce coaches modern relationship Orlando psychologists

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design