Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


one another partners partner violence autonomy caring behaviors friendly terms alternative medicine marriage counseling orlando fl trial sex struggling child activities counseling lying Orlando therapists delicate communication problem Orlando mediation sex offender therapy improve married PTSD problems licensed psychologist suppressed family psychotherapy hypnosis sex offender therapist healthy habits advantageous better the relationship disorders intense questions neuroanatomy talking points help relationships orientation confusion parents assessment anxious litigation support newly divorced adult Orlando supervised visitation mental examination delicate topics suppression treatments forensic psychology separation depression agree molestation live apart cheated talk therapy scientist Neuropsychology child psychologist orlando psychotherapy orlando Competency Restoration Training spouse another stress-relieving navigate treatment sexual avoidance behaviors reassurance dynamics relaxation Parenting Coordinator divorcing sexual behavioral problems court access repressed thoughts bias towards techniques psychological effective caring respect hopeless swinging habits negotiations modern relationships psychologists sexual monogamy marriage collaborative law parent judge studies mediation child undergo neuropsychologist respectfully therapist Orlando psychologists mental states attorney loved marry procedure modern relationship craving management psychologists in orlando development appropriate ways brain therapy act out lawyers arrangement mediators divided loyalties class orlando relationship child's mental state Parenting Coordination Program family therapy couple's problems mediator improving Orlando neuropsychologist memories life event withstand professional friends valued attorneys before the divorce Orlando parenting plan evaluations divided Cooperative Parenting Institute family counseling orlando Orlando psychologist qualified sex therapist sex therapy Orlando psychotherapy sex therapist trauma boundaries psychology orlando marriage problems unconventional arrangement values sexual marriage counseling agreement develop social pragmatic communication disorder aftermath persona expectation abuse shades of grey communication problems modification neuropsychologists therapists in orlando families improve sexual satisfaction withstand challenges consultants leave swing collaborative divorce dealing with stress consultation buried memories divorce trial messy divorce child development clarify priorities unconventional disputes doctor cheater partner expectations learning repressed thoughts swinger mind discussion relationship models repressed memories accept smoking cessation family counseling psychological evaluations relief clarify mental health relationship therapy children struggling influential fulfillment consult time-sharing specific problem relationships psychiatric repressed sexual enrichment not his fault expression stress psychologists orlando divorce coaches settlement relationship boundaries Orlando mediators lover psychometrist boundary behavior child abuse priorities co-parenting therapy state of mind Orlando hypnotherapy qualified therapist estates heart sleep disorders psychologist call it quits ideal habit deserves communication addiction anxiety psychotherapy Orlando family mediator help relationship family infidelity mess of a divorce medical loves politicians overeating unconscious divorce education orlando masturbation evaluate out of court determine scientists addressed property marriage troubles mental state child custody Orlando Family Mediation psychological evaluation delicate topic acceptance adjustment conflict resolution withdraw dynamic long-term relationship divorce bias repression forensic psychological evaluations smoking listening prenuptial agreements courts neuropsychological evaluations self overeating habits spouses monetary value substance abuse developments intimacy parent coordination personal fulfillment issues evaluation psychotherapist relationship woes orlando sex therapy qualified therapist's roles non-monogamy success post traumatic stress disorder cheating mental health services Orlando collaborative divorce acting out help unsettling life event law enforcement consultants influence love sexual satisfaction hypnotherapy Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations litigation mismatched sex drives law enforcement specialists contested custodies behavior modification beginning foundation sleep disorder troubled growth dealing with anxiety sex therapy orlando couples counseling couples suffering anti-anxiety infidelity aftermath value system medicine conflict risks mental illness neurodevelopmental disorders topics for discussion courage neurological abnormality legal different self grief access multiple personality disorder healing without bias unsettling relocation disputes personality paternity thoughts sex offender tools undergo hypnosis psychology fault alimony family mediation swingers satisfaction support psychosexual evaluations friendship sexual addiction mediates phobia parenting plans cheated-upon sexual trauma disorder assess learning and growth monitored exchange self-expression prioritization emotions mental health counselor needs phobias better problem sadness couple's therapy malicious divorce digital affair Orlando sex offender therapy address parenting plan deal The Florida Bar challenges


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design