Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

autonomy struggling child sex lawyers couple's therapy conflict alimony marriage psychotherapist thoughts withstand challenges delicate topic dealing with anxiety evaluate psychotherapy deserves forensic psychology fulfillment The Florida Bar neuropsychologist grief counseling prioritization self licensed psychologist troubled Parenting Coordinator support influence swinger delicate topics success sexual monogamy child abuse without bias negotiations families contested custodies legal monetary value talking points dealing with stress psychological evaluation delicate sex offender fault mediators mental examination parenting plan Orlando Family Mediation overeating habits divorce education orlando neuroanatomy divorce coaches lover developments priorities Orlando supervised visitation Parenting Coordination Program phobias discussion swing bias towards sex offender therapy struggling addiction Orlando mediators paternity behaviors mediator psychologists in orlando expression divided loyalties class orlando arrangement acting out assessment modern relationships Orlando psychologist cheater withdraw relocation disputes family depression sexual trauma alternative medicine growth Orlando parenting plan evaluations effective before the divorce collaborative law topics for discussion masturbation cheated-upon better conflict resolution sleep disorder partners unconventional arrangement family mediation needs Orlando psychologists anxious communication co-parenting therapy boundaries modern relationship shades of grey newly divorced expectations psychotherapy orlando caring behaviors therapists in orlando Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations sexual addiction infidelity monitored exchange access love mental states bias dynamic relationship models repression overeating parents psychosexual evaluations relationship woes sadness influential judge hypnosis personal fulfillment repressed learning unconscious friendly terms mental health counselor substance abuse expectation child development communication problem hypnotherapy psychologist sleep disorders disorder assess separation prenuptial agreements persona sex offender therapist attorney adjustment Orlando mediation memories PTSD mind self-expression affair parenting plans sexual satisfaction qualified sex therapist married settlement problem orientation confusion mental health services personality qualified repressed memories litigation courage mismatched sex drives spouse relationship therapy psychology orlando psychologists divorcing psychometrist accept therapy sexual enrichment habit leave infidelity aftermath parent collaborative divorce clarify relationship life event property withstand orlando sex therapy consultation develop mental state family psychotherapy development Orlando therapists foundation Orlando neuropsychologist relationships better the relationship scientist navigate one another sex therapist estates undergo mental illness law enforcement consultants live apart stress-relieving swinging neurological abnormality agree marriage problems trauma improve Orlando psychotherapy trial psychological evaluations respectfully forensic psychological evaluations court friends neurodevelopmental disorders habits healthy habits suppression Orlando family mediator consultants neuropsychological evaluations medicine professional consult politicians loves partner violence help relationships anti-anxiety sexual behavioral problems long-term relationship talk therapy stress psychological suppressed courts improving unconventional brain therapist's roles satisfaction marriage troubles caring child's mental state cheating call it quits state of mind scientists friendship child psychologist orlando determine disorders risks divorce trial anxiety multiple personality disorder parent coordination Orlando collaborative divorce another Orlando sex offender therapy valued beginning communication problems couple's problems disputes intense addressed doctor partner questions psychology help relationship problems phobia mediates unsettling life event unsettling sex therapy orlando spouses Neuropsychology family counseling time-sharing learning and growth family counseling orlando abuse undergo hypnosis value system buried memories loved out of court treatment Competency Restoration Training sex therapy heart procedure boundary Orlando hypnotherapy swingers child malicious divorce divided deal non-monogamy help acceptance different self healing behavior modification cheated Cooperative Parenting Institute medical post traumatic stress disorder attorneys marriage counseling orlando fl aftermath modification appropriate ways specific problem improve sexual satisfaction evaluation respect access repressed thoughts emotions values agreement therapist marry smoking cessation litigation support activities studies law enforcement specialists marriage counseling mediation act out couples counseling family therapy issues neuropsychologists qualified therapist dynamics couples molestation techniques craving management intimacy tools relaxation listening advantageous not his fault behavior relationship boundaries reassurance ideal challenges social pragmatic communication disorder digital mess of a divorce sexual avoidance child custody psychiatric treatments suffering hopeless psychologists orlando repressed thoughts address messy divorce mental health clarify priorities smoking sexual adult lying divorce relief children

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design