Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

mental states intimacy Orlando family mediator boundary modern relationship assessment scientist child development studies families Competency Restoration Training sadness child's mental state relaxation self-expression phobia marriage counseling caring behaviors mess of a divorce behaviors habits relationships post traumatic stress disorder sex therapy improve long-term relationship neuroanatomy mental health collaborative divorce healing relationship models qualified sex therapist modification valued help relationship stress couples counseling neuropsychologist Orlando mediators withdraw children bias towards masturbation cheated contested custodies learning out of court memories psychologists struggling PTSD growth cheated-upon personality Orlando therapists monetary value fault prenuptial agreements shades of grey hypnosis anti-anxiety family swingers overeating overeating habits boundaries Orlando psychologist advantageous brain sex therapy orlando Orlando hypnotherapy counseling communication problem psychological evaluation Orlando supervised visitation withstand agree trial psychological evaluations influence unsettling life event sex swinger infidelity aftermath licensed psychologist mental examination issues messy divorce relationship therapy accept Orlando psychotherapy expression anxiety leave specific problem marriage problems relocation disputes life event marriage troubles repressed qualified therapist development dynamic Orlando mediation partners psychotherapy disorders marry Orlando sex offender therapy clarify priorities sexual monogamy trauma craving management suffering mental illness Orlando collaborative divorce bias Orlando psychologists sex offender therapy expectations sexual addiction appropriate ways access topics for discussion develop self Orlando parenting plan evaluations sex therapist child abuse unsettling success depression loves family therapy divorce trial disputes evaluate relief unconventional arrangement discussion medicine before the divorce psychological heart psychotherapy orlando delicate topics unconscious collaborative law orientation confusion evaluation Orlando Family Mediation relationship woes repressed memories problems lying clarify family counseling orlando sex therapy withstand challenges marriage dealing with stress intense another friendship sleep disorder couples swing neurodevelopmental disorders parents substance abuse developments litigation delicate law enforcement consultants priorities consultation values alternative medicine stress-relieving without bias doctor adjustment autonomy communication problems legal settlement divorcing judge law enforcement specialists therapy help therapists in orlando not his fault mental health counselor act out troubled influential hopeless sex offender lover Orlando neuropsychologist state of mind cheating adult alimony courage therapist's roles mediator divided struggling child problem qualified child procedure divided loyalties class orlando live apart psychology orlando better the relationship one another family counseling orlando mental state digital divorce coaches effective friends challenges psychologist suppression psychometrist foundation divorce education orlando Neuropsychology mismatched sex drives dealing with anxiety deal behavior modification healthy habits Parenting Coordinator fulfillment partner violence monitored exchange acting out sexual behavioral problems abuse attorneys social pragmatic communication disorder molestation habit spouses The Florida Bar family psychotherapy behavior court spouse personal fulfillment anxious conflict questions relationship sexual satisfaction Cooperative Parenting Institute newly divorced improving forensic psychological evaluations beginning addressed married determine aftermath psychologists orlando politicians relationship boundaries talking points sexual trauma cheater thoughts repressed thoughts treatment medical unconventional smoking cessation delicate topic neuropsychological evaluations mental health services communication respectfully improve sexual satisfaction mind modern relationships consultants smoking partner sexual avoidance repression call it quits estates undergo psychiatric couple's problems caring buried memories respect non-monogamy mediation techniques parenting plan sleep disorders swinging address grief learning and growth affair help relationships addiction love listening loved family mediation suppressed better professional sexual time-sharing treatments malicious divorce couple's therapy divorce litigation support multiple personality disorder persona different self emotions neurological abnormality scientists ideal sexual enrichment psychotherapist phobias undergo hypnosis parenting plans acceptance prioritization marriage counseling orlando fl co-parenting therapy risks dynamics reassurance parent property courts neuropsychologists talk therapy deserves needs navigate infidelity access repressed thoughts attorney paternity conflict resolution friendly terms support parent coordination assess forensic psychology Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations child psychologist orlando therapist tools separation disorder child custody lawyers psychosexual evaluations satisfaction mediators negotiations mediates expectation hypnotherapy agreement value system sex offender therapist activities consult psychology arrangement psychologists in orlando Parenting Coordination Program

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design