Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

satisfaction conflict relationship woes monitored exchange negotiations law enforcement specialists mediators child abuse improve sexual satisfaction state of mind behaviors development fulfillment courts listening suppressed craving management delicate topic self influential litigation repressed thoughts swinger influence bias towards divided family mediation psychiatric digital Orlando therapists techniques relationship therapy sexual monogamy disorder mental state relationship boundaries lover neurodevelopmental disorders evaluation anxious psychologists orlando Orlando psychologist qualified sex therapist marriage child custody expression cheating partner call it quits dealing with stress leave psychologists in orlando infidelity aftermath out of court hypnosis expectations neuropsychologist orientation confusion parent coordination questions Cooperative Parenting Institute issues divorce trial settlement sleep disorder help relationships paternity learning Orlando mediators sexual satisfaction Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations children effective treatments prioritization brain Orlando collaborative divorce phobias parenting plans talk therapy intense disputes marriage troubles hypnotherapy loves relationship access address newly divorced modern relationships treatment dynamic Orlando mediation sexual behavioral problems act out healthy habits sexual avoidance delicate topics sadness personality divorce expectation needs adjustment psychologist psychosexual evaluations child psychologist orlando relationship models modification struggling child swinging collaborative law studies mental states another smoking cessation malicious divorce love neurological abnormality psychological evaluation psychotherapist contested custodies sex offender accept parents suppression child development child help partner violence agreement ideal undergo therapy divorce coaches separation life event consultation attorneys agree assessment habit social pragmatic communication disorder heart boundaries persona psychological troubled scientists litigation support boundary adult undergo hypnosis repressed memories consultants without bias sex therapist abuse unsettling dynamics neuropsychological evaluations swingers divorce education orlando multiple personality disorder mental illness withstand problems court learning and growth Orlando parenting plan evaluations thoughts judge mental examination psychotherapy disorders sexual addiction sex therapy acceptance growth mental health services Parenting Coordination Program withdraw friendship prenuptial agreements sexual trauma intimacy couples relaxation orlando sex therapy foundation Orlando psychotherapy parenting plan parent buried memories stress marry mind repressed beginning support one another affair communication problems different self bias behavior modification forensic psychology Orlando sex offender therapy respect mismatched sex drives improve family therapy family counseling orlando estates improving marriage counseling therapist's roles mess of a divorce determine family counseling trauma consult valued law enforcement consultants navigate licensed psychologist sexual activities smoking topics for discussion delicate not his fault doctor addressed discussion couples counseling therapists in orlando couple's therapy marriage problems mental health counselor infidelity communication problem anti-anxiety conflict resolution overeating habits stress-relieving unsettling life event time-sharing habits overeating success addiction acting out psychology orlando aftermath divided loyalties class orlando autonomy depression qualified therapist Competency Restoration Training grief anxiety neuropsychologists forensic psychological evaluations scientist messy divorce assess memories co-parenting therapy help relationship modern relationship relocation disputes property swing priorities trial fault tools psychology non-monogamy emotions Neuropsychology hopeless friends divorcing value system molestation family access repressed thoughts spouses developments shades of grey suffering specific problem post traumatic stress disorder problem reassurance mediator psychological evaluations evaluate sex offender therapist medicine deal families caring develop sleep disorders repression self-expression friendly terms loved family psychotherapy appropriate ways unconventional arrangement PTSD psychologists psychotherapy orlando caring behaviors Orlando psychologists challenges Orlando Family Mediation spouse courage mediates medical legal qualified neuroanatomy psychometrist unconventional better the relationship cheater unconscious relationships Orlando neuropsychologist mediation professional risks clarify advantageous Orlando family mediator better The Florida Bar personal fulfillment alternative medicine dealing with anxiety Orlando supervised visitation struggling lawyers collaborative divorce respectfully sex offender therapy clarify priorities live apart attorney talking points married counseling sex therapy orlando deserves sex mental health cheated-upon lying procedure relief sexual enrichment politicians marriage counseling orlando fl substance abuse healing monetary value values masturbation withstand challenges long-term relationship alimony before the divorce arrangement cheated communication Orlando hypnotherapy child's mental state phobia behavior couple's problems partners Parenting Coordinator therapist

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design