Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

access swinging swingers learning and growth spouse doctor families monetary value Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations marry mental health relaxation struggling child state of mind scientist Competency Restoration Training judge anxious respectfully mediator law enforcement consultants prenuptial agreements counseling neuropsychologists non-monogamy acting out partner violence lawyers orientation confusion overeating marriage married qualified sex therapist friends mental illness sex therapy orlando mental state adult undergo mental examination ideal attorney values partners modification parenting plans child psychologist orlando relationship boundaries professional addiction divorce coaches accept assess psychotherapy orlando swing collaborative divorce overeating habits prioritization fulfillment litigation support thoughts litigation qualified mediation messy divorce therapist smoking expectations abuse mental health services Parenting Coordination Program issues intimacy repressed memories conflict forensic psychology relationship talk therapy substance abuse property collaborative law consultants out of court improve child abuse dynamics habit communication healing psychologists in orlando children not his fault sex offender therapist psychology influential grief activities cheated-upon digital The Florida Bar consultation psychologists orlando therapists in orlando psychiatric law enforcement specialists treatment risks lying delicate topic Orlando mediators stress-relieving sadness intense addressed boundary settlement infidelity affair child custody assessment improve sexual satisfaction depression orlando sex therapy post traumatic stress disorder withdraw appropriate ways relocation disputes anxiety bias another mess of a divorce divorcing determine phobia persona psychometrist success trial separation hypnotherapy address loved repression newly divorced healthy habits repressed thoughts love parenting plan parent coordination aftermath divorce trial couples marriage problems child friendly terms questions disorder modern relationship negotiations trauma Cooperative Parenting Institute treatments brain agree psychological habits heart child development foundation withstand parents Orlando therapists relationship woes estates problem court family counseling divided loyalties class orlando disorders couples counseling couple's problems psychology orlando Orlando Family Mediation sexual forensic psychological evaluations legal developments hypnosis adjustment craving management family therapy autonomy problems marriage counseling sexual addiction family mediation social pragmatic communication disorder acceptance improving couple's therapy repressed smoking cessation troubled Orlando psychotherapy sex offender sex therapy psychologists paternity deserves navigate divorce education orlando personal fulfillment arrangement learning boundaries swinger behavior talking points sexual enrichment unconventional evaluate sexual monogamy sexual trauma courage courts cheater reassurance family psychotherapy phobias relationship therapy emotions satisfaction development medical bias towards expectation dealing with anxiety memories cheating hopeless marriage troubles psychotherapist mind expression Orlando supervised visitation friendship withstand challenges mediates topics for discussion lover anti-anxiety beginning psychological evaluations delicate listening suppression neuroanatomy infidelity aftermath caring behaviors contested custodies modern relationships better the relationship different self partner neuropsychological evaluations malicious divorce valued unconscious needs one another therapist's roles mental health counselor Orlando parenting plan evaluations marriage counseling orlando fl help relationships licensed psychologist delicate topics psychological evaluation monitored exchange priorities long-term relationship shades of grey influence clarify self-expression cheated deal suffering agreement behaviors politicians unconventional arrangement act out help relationship buried memories co-parenting therapy challenges neuropsychologist life event unsettling value system family counseling orlando qualified therapist call it quits procedure neurodevelopmental disorders sexual satisfaction sexual avoidance masturbation disputes live apart access repressed thoughts Orlando psychologist molestation sleep disorders help relationships sexual behavioral problems medicine undergo hypnosis sex therapist clarify priorities relationship models psychotherapy psychologist specific problem mismatched sex drives unsettling life event alimony dynamic personality struggling time-sharing before the divorce divided spouses relief Orlando neuropsychologist sex alternative medicine dealing with stress evaluation fault studies behavior modification multiple personality disorder divorce advantageous parent PTSD Orlando collaborative divorce conflict resolution sex offender therapy develop growth Orlando mediation child's mental state Orlando sex offender therapy better attorneys mental states neurological abnormality effective tools Orlando psychologists consult leave self loves psychosexual evaluations mediators support without bias Orlando family mediator discussion communication problems therapy caring Parenting Coordinator Neuropsychology scientists suppressed communication problem stress techniques sleep disorder Orlando hypnotherapy family respect

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design