Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

counseling out of court self tools masturbation sexual monogamy psychosexual evaluations relaxation Orlando mediators sexual cheating one another Orlando psychologists forensic psychology sexual avoidance success therapists in orlando couple's problems settlement infidelity adult talk therapy qualified marriage troubles psychotherapy law enforcement specialists contested custodies life event issues Orlando mediation divorce coaches divorce education orlando newly divorced sex therapy orlando undergo hypnosis negotiations support attorneys professional partner violence different self post traumatic stress disorder bias towards anxious brain mental illness listening phobia suppressed Orlando therapists psychological evaluation autonomy sex therapy overeating hypnosis modification marriage counseling orlando fl scientist medical repressed thoughts improving long-term relationship swinging mismatched sex drives techniques child's mental state disorder neuropsychological evaluations clarify priorities withstand challenges healthy habits state of mind acting out social pragmatic communication disorder family psychotherapy self-expression fault prenuptial agreements problem psychology sex offender therapist psychological friendly terms friends time-sharing Orlando neuropsychologist evaluate unconventional arrangement monetary value repression consultants marriage problems satisfaction thoughts delicate topics mediates clarify influential respectfully modern relationship psychological evaluations expression healing orlando sex therapy stress alimony family therapy intense bias discussion sex offender foundation psychotherapy orlando qualified sex therapist Parenting Coordination Program conflict agreement relationship therapy lawyers litigation parenting plan multiple personality disorder deserves values divided co-parenting therapy mind sexual trauma PTSD paternity marriage law enforcement consultants Orlando sex offender therapy priorities affair marry child adjustment swing unsettling behavior qualified therapist call it quits habit family counseling orlando addressed acceptance psychologist licensed psychologist behaviors suppression mental health parent dynamics unconventional ideal assess repressed memories disputes without bias spouses lover questions act out navigate withstand needs judge consult hopeless dealing with stress topics for discussion develop influence buried memories divorce mental health services challenges trial molestation sadness Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations relationship better expectations sexual satisfaction boundaries smoking cessation politicians family substance abuse development respect disorders learning and growth developments neuropsychologist malicious divorce mental states dynamic consultation partner unsettling life event help sleep disorders mental examination undergo married relationship woes specific problem psychotherapist troubled legal mess of a divorce anti-anxiety Competency Restoration Training The Florida Bar leave improve sexual satisfaction family counseling address help relationship psychometrist Parenting Coordinator before the divorce medicine overeating habits caring behaviors growth swingers child abuse help relationships marriage counseling courage Orlando hypnotherapy Orlando psychologist relocation disputes attorney reassurance conflict resolution intimacy swinger neurological abnormality orientation confusion relationship models withdraw arrangement communication problems communication problem struggling child better the relationship personal fulfillment psychologists in orlando sexual enrichment cheater loves infidelity aftermath evaluation determine learning addiction relationship boundaries couple's therapy expectation delicate topic parenting plans therapist Cooperative Parenting Institute deal collaborative law accept non-monogamy advantageous suffering personality families unconscious partners stress-relieving therapy Orlando psychotherapy heart treatments activities value system psychology orlando communication courts trauma caring psychologists beginning relationships memories Orlando parenting plan evaluations modern relationships another forensic psychological evaluations Orlando collaborative divorce delicate child development phobias child psychologist orlando sex therapist sleep disorder friendship access hypnotherapy separation litigation support appropriate ways Orlando family mediator lying parent coordination sexual addiction smoking craving management mental health counselor neuropsychologists fulfillment monitored exchange procedure alternative medicine access repressed thoughts grief abuse therapist's roles problems shades of grey psychologists orlando depression aftermath estates divorce trial parents sex messy divorce Orlando Family Mediation sexual behavioral problems sex offender therapy studies risks behavior modification dealing with anxiety Neuropsychology live apart loved valued improve habits divided loyalties class orlando spouse anxiety family mediation assessment collaborative divorce mediation scientists couples not his fault persona property child custody psychiatric divorcing love couples counseling mediator treatment children struggling mediators court doctor cheated-upon prioritization Orlando supervised visitation neuroanatomy relief agree mental state cheated effective repressed boundary neurodevelopmental disorders talking points digital emotions

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design