Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

Competency Restoration Training shades of grey children cheater dealing with stress alimony respect ideal substance abuse intense craving management separation persona navigate collaborative law troubled withstand challenges lover communication orlando sex therapy Orlando parenting plan evaluations modification undergo child's mental state politicians qualified neuroanatomy psychologists sex therapy Neuropsychology procedure Orlando therapists hypnotherapy psychiatric modern relationship sexual addiction friends couple's therapy mental examination doctor divorcing settlement divided psychology orlando litigation support beginning social pragmatic communication disorder not his fault psychologists in orlando address Orlando psychologists trauma agreement Orlando mediation mental health affair personality life event neuropsychologist reassurance relocation disputes married unconscious deserves co-parenting therapy attorneys anxiety learning memories repression family therapy live apart priorities swinging phobias therapist counseling parent Parenting Coordination Program mental states values treatment child abuse negotiations child psychologist orlando medical topics for discussion suppression newly divorced lawyers improve anti-anxiety smoking cessation agree habits stress-relieving marriage counseling orlando fl messy divorce caring infidelity aftermath neuropsychological evaluations family counseling dealing with anxiety divorce attorney mental health services relaxation couple's problems cheating overeating habits swing relationship models mental state adult addressed psychologist disorders acting out parenting plans aftermath consultation delicate topics dynamics Orlando family mediator digital delicate topic mind leave value system deal treatments one another behavior modification divorce trial legal communication problems psychological evaluation licensed psychologist hypnosis respectfully orientation confusion brain Orlando neuropsychologist talking points expectations growth property forensic psychology law enforcement consultants unconventional relationship therapy sex offender therapy sex offender therapist molestation partner sexual trauma emotions suppressed The Florida Bar mess of a divorce addiction prioritization listening partners PTSD evaluation conflict resolution better consultants depression success influence problems Orlando hypnotherapy clarify marriage counseling valued another accept neurological abnormality talk therapy parenting plan repressed memories access suffering swingers psychologists orlando learning and growth malicious divorce healthy habits self heart courage psychotherapist friendly terms improving personal fulfillment repressed thoughts mismatched sex drives medicine expression phobia Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations relief activities psychotherapy family professional assess development trial psychometrist marriage problems disorder marry judge forensic psychological evaluations mediates psychological marriage troubles Orlando sex offender therapy family psychotherapy sadness improve sexual satisfaction mediator divorce coaches sleep disorders parent coordination sexual post traumatic stress disorder family counseling orlando sex therapy orlando child custody delicate caring behaviors healing fulfillment sex cheated thoughts anxious state of mind studies scientists cheated-upon partner violence sexual monogamy Cooperative Parenting Institute buried memories unsettling courts couples questions determine appropriate ways litigation mental illness Orlando psychologist multiple personality disorder developments self-expression withdraw develop child development influential risks loves qualified therapist modern relationships scientist Orlando psychotherapy boundary estates alternative medicine spouse tools without bias adjustment family mediation behaviors clarify priorities therapists in orlando autonomy prenuptial agreements undergo hypnosis needs help relationship law enforcement specialists time-sharing Orlando mediators arrangement couples counseling acceptance psychotherapy orlando advantageous monetary value relationships communication problem Parenting Coordinator challenges loved non-monogamy psychology therapist's roles withstand help out of court contested custodies better the relationship intimacy long-term relationship support psychological evaluations smoking mediation paternity psychosexual evaluations techniques collaborative divorce relationship boundaries different self fault access repressed thoughts before the divorce families love boundaries spouses divorce education orlando sexual behavioral problems sexual avoidance relationship woes unsettling life event hopeless habit bias towards problem infidelity assessment swinger effective bias sex offender overeating evaluate relationship discussion sleep disorder unconventional arrangement qualified sex therapist neurodevelopmental disorders abuse mental health counselor parents sexual enrichment call it quits conflict specific problem Orlando collaborative divorce divided loyalties class orlando monitored exchange marriage Orlando Family Mediation behavior repressed expectation sexual satisfaction issues sex therapist masturbation neuropsychologists dynamic satisfaction consult child lying mediators help relationships therapy struggling act out foundation court friendship stress Orlando supervised visitation grief disputes struggling child

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design