Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

sexual communication problems repressed prenuptial agreements marry infidelity aftermath cheater relationship therapy call it quits Neuropsychology boundary unsettling life event reassurance stress-relieving cheated emotions infidelity couples child development leave therapist's roles bias towards behavior marriage priorities hypnotherapy relationship boundaries dealing with anxiety studies swing addiction disorders legal repressed thoughts expectations attorneys healthy habits Cooperative Parenting Institute repressed memories adult psychotherapy orlando family divorce education orlando challenges medicine mental states judge sexual enrichment self-expression needs stress therapists in orlando psychologists in orlando develop contested custodies activities satisfaction discussion self psychology smoking cessation courts valued sleep disorders addressed psychology orlando sexual trauma parents molestation dynamics Orlando psychotherapy delicate healing doctor overeating habits suffering child psychologist orlando child abuse respect parent coordination deserves politicians address family mediation tools modification problem long-term relationship partners autonomy spouses consultation improve sexual satisfaction court psychologists assessment psychologists orlando Parenting Coordinator families Competency Restoration Training swingers better the relationship hypnosis unconscious property mismatched sex drives trauma Orlando supervised visitation issues talking points divided intense mess of a divorce mediates clarify sexual satisfaction help relationships beginning mental illness mind psychiatric collaborative divorce questions caring behaviors support sex therapy spouse scientists mental health not his fault disputes prioritization hopeless neurodevelopmental disorders adjustment messy divorce psychosexual evaluations couples counseling neurological abnormality family counseling orlando Orlando Family Mediation marriage troubles co-parenting therapy friendly terms monitored exchange friendship improving agree habits life event consult values professional Parenting Coordination Program conflict resolution access repressed thoughts Orlando hypnotherapy modern relationship sex therapist partner family psychotherapy brain The Florida Bar arrangement lawyers anxious delicate topics family therapy Orlando neuropsychologist Orlando mediation influential lying collaborative law law enforcement consultants navigate struggling child post traumatic stress disorder topics for discussion better overeating mediator expectation communication separation sexual monogamy evaluation Orlando family mediator phobias fulfillment forensic psychology communication problem Orlando parenting plan evaluations scientist Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations development procedure neuroanatomy agreement sex couple's problems growth influence psychotherapist qualified sex therapist sex offender mental examination Orlando psychologist Orlando therapists licensed psychologist improve social pragmatic communication disorder thoughts withstand neuropsychologists affair help therapy developments settlement relationships multiple personality disorder relief paternity qualified divorce coaches Orlando sex offender therapy marriage counseling divorce trial repression parent help relationship alternative medicine suppressed acceptance Orlando mediators bias relationship abuse divorce heart conflict personal fulfillment lover sexual avoidance loves expression respectfully undergo hypnosis access child couple's therapy anti-anxiety mental state psychological evaluation litigation mental health services counseling sadness unconventional arrangement relationship woes acting out behaviors love orlando sex therapy personality Orlando collaborative divorce specific problem forensic psychological evaluations struggling deal without bias withstand challenges monetary value newly divorced behavior modification risks evaluate courage mediators child custody friends alimony advantageous boundaries different self effective buried memories cheating anxiety trial neuropsychological evaluations mediation state of mind children treatment psychological consultants depression estates shades of grey family counseling medical habit clarify priorities talk therapy act out loved intimacy smoking assess relaxation dealing with stress psychologist divorcing ideal learning success another phobia masturbation attorney appropriate ways one another sex offender therapy unsettling Orlando psychologists learning and growth disorder substance abuse married swinging parenting plans value system persona undergo PTSD therapist withdraw troubled caring memories partner violence swinger mental health counselor fault relationship models problems dynamic foundation grief digital non-monogamy sexual addiction modern relationships sexual behavioral problems orientation confusion cheated-upon neuropsychologist law enforcement specialists litigation support marriage problems malicious divorce psychotherapy treatments before the divorce divided loyalties class orlando qualified therapist determine accept parenting plan time-sharing techniques aftermath craving management child's mental state psychological evaluations negotiations sex therapy orlando sex offender therapist relocation disputes delicate topic sleep disorder listening unconventional psychometrist suppression marriage counseling orlando fl live apart out of court

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design