Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

Neuropsychology court parenting plans communication problem intense mental examination healing techniques consultation swingers behavior determine lawyers navigate counseling act out assessment psychology orlando habit substance abuse better newly divorced different self child custody relationship therapy discussion Orlando therapists learning parent dynamics questions shades of grey psychology sexual behavioral problems tools sleep disorder Orlando collaborative divorce sex therapy orlando mental illness better the relationship neuropsychologists personal fulfillment psychologist mind partner violence sex offender therapist mess of a divorce co-parenting therapy negotiations Cooperative Parenting Institute marriage troubles family therapy time-sharing loves infidelity aftermath couples child's mental state swinging sex offender psychotherapist psychological out of court malicious divorce therapists in orlando learning and growth modern relationship sexual addiction repressed sexual fault hypnotherapy advantageous cheated anxious effective habits courage forensic psychological evaluations satisfaction relaxation development psychological evaluations marriage counseling orlando fl struggling child digital conflict autonomy law enforcement consultants settlement divorce education orlando courts evaluation dynamic behaviors social pragmatic communication disorder loved unconventional arrangement divorcing unconventional life event growth respect property heart foundation boundary studies phobia communication problems evaluate sex children divorce mediators neuroanatomy not his fault couple's problems memories consult psychotherapy struggling parents talk therapy thoughts bias towards estates alternative medicine mediator acting out expectation talking points attorney molestation parent coordination assess therapist's roles withstand clarify priorities friendship sex offender therapy deal sexual monogamy relationship Orlando sex offender therapy forensic psychology Orlando family mediator child psychologist orlando disorder monetary value respectfully problem couple's therapy psychotherapy orlando developments relationship woes modification licensed psychologist orlando sex therapy Orlando Family Mediation access Orlando neuropsychologist professional Orlando parenting plan evaluations Orlando mediators sex therapy psychologists orlando access repressed thoughts suffering dealing with stress cheated-upon The Florida Bar undergo hypnosis one another spouses valued deserves ideal relationships Orlando psychologists suppression masturbation marriage problems develop marry relocation disputes needs prioritization relief non-monogamy grief priorities unsettling clarify divorce trial delicate topic swinger repressed memories without bias sleep disorders paternity Orlando supervised visitation influential child development reassurance psychologists prenuptial agreements anxiety infidelity litigation law enforcement specialists Orlando mediation disorders Orlando psychologist improve family mediation call it quits alimony neurological abnormality aftermath divided loyalties class orlando spouse value system address collaborative law neuropsychologist agreement mental health services consultants expression addressed state of mind mismatched sex drives divided abuse boundaries emotions sexual avoidance arrangement withdraw another repression mental states qualified therapist brain withstand challenges problems help self collaborative divorce scientist long-term relationship communication neuropsychological evaluations procedure live apart mediates relationship models improving issues Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations hypnosis litigation support overeating habits accept attorneys scientists family psychotherapy judge cheater qualified dealing with anxiety leave anti-anxiety smoking cessation caring influence risks partner sexual enrichment personality repressed thoughts lying Parenting Coordination Program adult multiple personality disorder PTSD child support Orlando psychotherapy divorce coaches bias undergo overeating hopeless contested custodies child abuse intimacy delicate topics psychometrist medicine sexual trauma beginning help relationships phobias delicate mediation therapist success values appropriate ways expectations couples counseling psychologists in orlando politicians parenting plan acceptance listening affair messy divorce caring behaviors mental health relationship boundaries challenges separation lover agree before the divorce orientation confusion sadness neurodevelopmental disorders Competency Restoration Training swing help relationship Orlando hypnotherapy married marriage counseling modern relationships family counseling orlando marriage activities partners post traumatic stress disorder therapy mental health counselor persona qualified sex therapist family medical fulfillment doctor treatments psychosexual evaluations suppressed unsettling life event friendly terms healthy habits self-expression troubled trauma trial unconscious mental state disputes stress-relieving family counseling cheating sexual satisfaction friends psychiatric buried memories improve sexual satisfaction treatment adjustment conflict resolution addiction legal Parenting Coordinator topics for discussion stress smoking love behavior modification monitored exchange specific problem families psychological evaluation depression sex therapist craving management

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design