Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

expression hopeless child abuse psychologists orlando bias neurological abnormality Parenting Coordinator develop psychology mediator family psychotherapy mediates unconventional acting out behavior modification evaluation heart valued personality repressed family counseling politicians communication depression unconscious psychology orlando healthy habits undergo challenges hypnotherapy divorce education orlando different self Orlando Family Mediation psychotherapy psychologists in orlando reassurance judge PTSD communication problems deserves boundaries non-monogamy lawyers swinger cheated improving couple's therapy delicate psychotherapist topics for discussion parenting plan swing clarify struggling child disorder court addressed emotions infidelity aftermath law enforcement specialists foundation relationship boundaries couple's problems estates sex offender help relationship relocation disputes overeating habits repression child sex therapy self-expression divorcing The Florida Bar psychologists respect talking points out of court legal activities arrangement molestation behavior sexual avoidance better parenting plans co-parenting therapy thoughts orientation confusion modern relationship treatment sexual enrichment expectations appropriate ways undergo hypnosis monitored exchange cheating treatments time-sharing newly divorced disorders Neuropsychology family mediation qualified therapist child custody memories lying psychological evaluation collaborative divorce access communication problem married counseling learning separation post traumatic stress disorder lover priorities therapist call it quits sleep disorder consult accept couples counseling acceptance messy divorce Orlando family mediator suppression withstand healing intense relationship models help neuropsychologist neurodevelopmental disorders trauma sex therapy orlando affair partners marriage counseling dealing with stress psychiatric consultation mediators risks anxiety tools influential craving management divided addiction parent coordination trial mess of a divorce relationship multiple personality disorder needs divorce sexual trauma shades of grey courage cheated-upon Orlando collaborative divorce sexual behavioral problems state of mind doctor professional address habit improve family problem monetary value qualified sex therapist parents substance abuse swingers long-term relationship problems dealing with anxiety divorce trial relaxation behaviors medicine unconventional arrangement brain sex offender therapist cheater Orlando psychologists attorneys law enforcement consultants suppressed marriage problems sex child psychologist orlando child's mental state stress-relieving dynamics psychological evaluations fulfillment disputes families medical before the divorce social pragmatic communication disorder leave evaluate access repressed thoughts neuropsychologists navigate smoking cessation love mental illness marriage troubles Orlando therapists therapy Parenting Coordination Program mental health discussion struggling couples better the relationship alternative medicine infidelity prioritization abuse negotiations adjustment sexual delicate topic dynamic divided loyalties class orlando relief bias towards advantageous Orlando psychologist divorce coaches caring behaviors Orlando hypnotherapy mediation Orlando parenting plan evaluations sex therapist without bias spouse autonomy anti-anxiety masturbation development another suffering repressed memories clarify priorities assess swinging withdraw sex offender therapy mental state Competency Restoration Training determine malicious divorce qualified modern relationships sexual addiction Orlando mediation phobia modification orlando sex therapy conflict respectfully support phobias scientist Cooperative Parenting Institute psychologist aftermath mismatched sex drives mental health counselor smoking overeating property caring Orlando psychotherapy alimony attorney one another Orlando neuropsychologist live apart loves deal hypnosis habits Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations procedure courts mental health services persona value system improve sexual satisfaction grief litigation support marriage Orlando sex offender therapy relationships Orlando supervised visitation spouses child development growth marry sexual monogamy therapist's roles troubled conflict resolution relationship woes settlement neuropsychological evaluations anxious psychosexual evaluations sadness help relationships developments friends techniques prenuptial agreements licensed psychologist psychometrist partner violence influence litigation learning and growth questions ideal parent collaborative law talk therapy family counseling orlando expectation family therapy sleep disorders forensic psychology relationship therapy children boundary scientists life event psychological effective intimacy forensic psychological evaluations unsettling specific problem loved Orlando mediators mental examination studies beginning neuroanatomy not his fault buried memories mental states psychotherapy orlando digital friendly terms satisfaction consultants paternity agree stress partner assessment act out therapists in orlando sexual satisfaction adult contested custodies values friendship self withstand challenges issues repressed thoughts fault success agreement unsettling life event marriage counseling orlando fl personal fulfillment mind delicate topics listening

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design