Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.
In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.
Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.
Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.
Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.
Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.
A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.
Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.
We’re all aware of the stereotype of psychologists, and others who practice psychology. However, this stereotype no longer reflects the reality of modern family relationship therapy, and how it really works. In fact, this negative stereotype does a disservice to psychology in general and the public in particular, as it glosses over the fact that tens of millions of people have been helped through both family and relationship therapy over the years. Let’s take a look at some of the benefits both therapies have to offer:
Family therapy assists patients in understanding how family issues impact them personally and from a greater family system perspective. This can include problems related to parenting, parent-child relationships, a death or loss and more.
Orlando therapists guide families through an open communication process that helps them learn how to effectively express themselves and their feelings. No matter what dysfunction your family may suffer from, family therapy can provide you with the tools and education you will need to work through the issues.
Relationship therapy focuses more on interpersonal relationships; usually a romantic partnership, such as a husband and wife. An experienced therapist will ensure that both parties have the opportunity to share and discuss their feelings and issues with their partner.
Your Orlando therapist will use the principles of psychology to help you acknowledge your own issues, understand the perspective of your partner and learn new ways to relate to one another that are more productive.
You will find that much has changed in the field of psychology in recent years, and therapy has the potential to make a positive difference in your life, and the lives of those around you.
These days, before many couples decide to call it quits, they undergo couple’s therapy or marriage counseling. In general, no one is excited about the prospect of sitting on a psychologist’s couch and detailing all the problems within a marriage, however, plenty of couples have found relief from their relationship woes by seeking the help of a professional. It is always useful, before jumping into any kind of therapy, to have some idea of what is going to happen.
Most psychologists will ask questions, listening to responses of both spouses, in order to get at the heart of the couple’s problems. For example, a couple may come in saying that they no longer feel the other loves them. Through some pointed questions, a psychologist may determine that they are actually having a problem with communication, not with love.
Even for couples that have already decided to get a divorce, relationship therapy may be advantageous. A therapist will be able to help them navigate their new dynamic, so that they can at least be on friendly terms, especially in cases where the couple shares a child.
In either case, the psychologist will ask questions about the relationship and will suggest topics for discussion and activities that can better the couple’s relationship, whether that couple is still married or is newly divorced.
Many people see the role of a psychologist relegated to the chair and couch method of therapy, that their only role is that of a therapist, hashing out the mental states of celebrities and those wealthy enough to pay for their services. But these days, the role of psychologist is greatly expanded. They are used as consultants by law enforcement specialists, they advise politicians, and they help schools design curricula to encourage learning and growth.
Among some of their most important roles is that of a mediator, between two spouses who have decided to divorce. They also can help assess a child’s mental state and provide solutions for the difficult situations that children and parents often find themselves in when a divorce separates a family. Then, there are the more traditional therapist’s roles, including implementing hypnotherapy, and counseling couples in their relationships.
In collaborative law, a couple wishing to divorce works with their lawyers, and often, their psychologists, in order to settle the matter out of court. This kind of law is much cleaner than taking a divorce to trial, where often both the spouses and their lawyers will turn towards malicious in-fighting and dirty tactics in order to get the judge to rule in their favor. In this method of divorce, the lawyers and the spouses can work together to find a settlement that is amenable not just for each other, but also for the children and for the property. Though the negotiations can go on for days or even months, studies show that divorces out of court tend to be more amicable and any children from the marriage are better adjusted.
Psychologist are not only brought in in order to evaluate a child who might be having a difficult time with his parents’ divorce, he is also brought in to assess the mental states of the parents, and to determine if it is safe for the child to be placed with either parent. They may also be consulted in order to determine the relative worth of items which are being divided. There is rarely only monetary value involved in divorce disputes, and often a psychologist can clear the air and help the couple reach a more peaceful agreement, one based on facts, rather than on emotions.