Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

psychotherapy partner psychometrist law enforcement specialists smoking cessation reassurance lawyers stress-relieving modification improve sexual satisfaction sleep disorders unsettling qualified sex therapist out of court disorder deserves suppression partners dealing with anxiety qualified therapist clarify mediation bias navigate caring better the relationship problem anxiety mess of a divorce personality masturbation couples settlement repressed relationship woes divorcing without bias non-monogamy property call it quits mental state loves digital psychologists in orlando agreement marriage counseling act out delicate topics address problems mediator prenuptial agreements sleep disorder collaborative divorce neurological abnormality consultants access repressed thoughts psychosexual evaluations self sex offender therapy sex offender undergo Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations modern relationships couple's problems ideal swinger acting out relationship Cooperative Parenting Institute children issues child psychologist orlando accept separation loved parent coordination conflict resolution marriage troubles relationship therapy dynamics divided mental health services dealing with stress discussion agree addiction expression self-expression access brain determine autonomy divorce trial activities troubled mental states thoughts monitored exchange Orlando family mediator marriage therapists in orlando prioritization adjustment child development divided loyalties class orlando sex therapy orlando Neuropsychology behaviors legal sexual addiction hypnosis medicine Orlando hypnotherapy child custody courage scientist spouses disputes psychotherapist psychological evaluations heart infidelity talking points sex therapist contested custodies newly divorced forensic psychological evaluations learning smoking live apart consultation improving spouse infidelity aftermath Competency Restoration Training evaluate Orlando therapists law enforcement consultants healing Orlando neuropsychologist marriage problems cheating marriage counseling orlando fl repressed thoughts trial parents married parent learning and growth swing specific problem marry paternity families mismatched sex drives influential swinging family psychotherapy hopeless litigation support substance abuse relationship models leave success post traumatic stress disorder help sex offender therapist struggling psychologist collaborative law family counseling orlando adult valued child's mental state PTSD sex therapy forensic psychology repressed memories before the divorce dynamic techniques state of mind partner violence lover sexual satisfaction Orlando sex offender therapy expectations development habits psychotherapy orlando suppressed evaluation advantageous mental health counselor values phobia influence depression Parenting Coordinator lying developments monetary value psychiatric struggling child friends family mediation alternative medicine respect mediates stress talk therapy healthy habits growth swingers litigation Orlando supervised visitation psychology malicious divorce therapist politicians friendly terms disorders persona foundation tools neuropsychologists sexual behavioral problems personal fulfillment phobias psychological overeating medical delicate topic cheater expectation psychology orlando risks appropriate ways alimony attorney negotiations orientation confusion sexual trauma Orlando psychotherapy grief divorce support assess assessment attorneys mental examination delicate qualified one another behavior couple's therapy family sexual Parenting Coordination Program divorce coaches consult sexual avoidance communication abuse neurodevelopmental disorders boundary friendship different self studies social pragmatic communication disorder affair shades of grey multiple personality disorder undergo hypnosis parenting plans court relief scientists Orlando collaborative divorce boundaries help relationships improve courts parenting plan communication problems treatment unconventional arrangement beginning treatments bias towards anxious psychologists orlando sex therapy mental health priorities life event buried memories psychological evaluation sexual enrichment fulfillment long-term relationship unconventional habit cheated-upon therapist's roles arrangement unconscious relocation disputes love cheated aftermath help relationship value system overeating habits co-parenting therapy communication problem unsettling life event another sex counseling Orlando mediators mediators anti-anxiety topics for discussion messy divorce caring behaviors family therapy psychologists orlando divorce education orlando memories molestation licensed psychologist withstand challenges questions procedure deal relationship boundaries satisfaction sexual monogamy acceptance withstand challenges better effective couples counseling child hypnotherapy sadness withdraw behavior modification estates judge Orlando parenting plan evaluations modern relationship relationships mind therapy intense repression Orlando Family Mediation neuropsychological evaluations emotions professional needs conflict neuroanatomy intimacy clarify priorities child abuse Orlando mediation trauma not his fault relaxation suffering neuropsychologist time-sharing The Florida Bar craving management mental illness family counseling listening develop Orlando psychologists doctor respectfully Orlando psychologist fault addressed

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design