Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


therapist's roles suppressed spouse suffering qualified orientation confusion sex therapy phobia help relationship develop evaluate hypnotherapy separation marriage counseling struggling child divorce coaches bias licensed psychologist doctor marry sexual satisfaction different self mess of a divorce depression scientist determine children parents questions talking points mental health trial evaluation intimacy relief self acceptance relationship therapy sexual enrichment boundaries autonomy learning and growth psychology orlando divorcing healing help relationships psychological evaluation estates studies orlando sex therapy tools friendship friendly terms live apart issues collaborative law deal therapists in orlando family mediation relationship boundaries Orlando mediation contested custodies improve psychotherapy orlando struggling relaxation psychology sleep disorders relationship woes repressed thoughts arrangement psychologists repression loves treatments delicate topics addressed persona divorce trial sexual avoidance stress-relieving unsettling counseling medicine professional brain sexual behavioral problems communication problems clarify Orlando psychologist modern relationships sexual monogamy needs Orlando psychologists litigation support couples consultants Orlando supervised visitation healthy habits attorney Cooperative Parenting Institute law enforcement consultants state of mind families modification value system shades of grey monitored exchange leave co-parenting therapy emotions call it quits activities sex therapist trauma Orlando psychotherapy social pragmatic communication disorder Parenting Coordinator mind techniques priorities undergo dealing with stress psychologists in orlando alimony cheating withstand challenges mediation out of court family counseling orlando couple's therapy lover heart influential neuropsychological evaluations psychological evaluations habit expression monetary value before the divorce child development communication problem property paternity unconventional marriage counseling orlando fl act out withdraw developments cheated respectfully newly divorced accept without bias scientists couple's problems psychotherapy parent coordination partner violence non-monogamy memories divorce litigation infidelity another conflict one another reassurance deserves agree forensic psychological evaluations success disorders personal fulfillment improving respect sex affair sleep disorder negotiations Orlando parenting plan evaluations alternative medicine satisfaction topics for discussion sexual trauma problem molestation married aftermath family sex offender therapy risks sex offender divided loyalties class orlando values better access thoughts cheated-upon lawyers psychological Orlando hypnotherapy disorder prenuptial agreements relocation disputes mental illness fulfillment dealing with anxiety problems caring advantageous expectation boundary Parenting Coordination Program family counseling cheater psychometrist swingers qualified therapist loved The Florida Bar multiple personality disorder smoking messy divorce challenges influence navigate appropriate ways couples counseling time-sharing assess mental states judge improve sexual satisfaction adjustment divided legal anxious sexual law enforcement specialists marriage troubles Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations Orlando mediators self-expression family therapy medical grief psychologist adult addiction not his fault foundation intense substance abuse swinger repressed memories mediates qualified sex therapist court help neuropsychologists dynamics development address mediator delicate beginning delicate topic unsettling life event better the relationship courage sex offender therapist forensic psychology therapy relationships life event parenting plans psychiatric child abuse access repressed thoughts consult habits effective Orlando neuropsychologist agreement parenting plan conflict resolution procedure psychologists orlando modern relationship craving management mental health counselor masturbation communication child custody Orlando therapists mediators behaviors acting out consultation politicians lying partners neurodevelopmental disorders neurological abnormality digital child psychologist orlando treatment long-term relationship unconventional arrangement fault spouses mental examination behavior modification personality attorneys anxiety relationship models sadness unconscious caring behaviors dynamic settlement undergo hypnosis specific problem divorce education orlando PTSD courts talk therapy bias towards clarify priorities overeating habits sex therapy orlando hopeless phobias suppression Orlando collaborative divorce Orlando family mediator overeating therapist Orlando Family Mediation neuroanatomy mismatched sex drives friends hypnosis troubled psychotherapist growth swing buried memories Competency Restoration Training anti-anxiety Orlando sex offender therapy marriage collaborative divorce partner behavior withstand parent mental health services child's mental state Neuropsychology repressed assessment disputes post traumatic stress disorder mental state prioritization abuse expectations listening neuropsychologist learning discussion psychosexual evaluations child smoking cessation relationship love marriage problems malicious divorce support ideal stress infidelity aftermath valued sexual addiction family psychotherapy swinging


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design