Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

loved value system family counseling mind court trauma sexual monogamy courts co-parenting therapy substance abuse Orlando hypnotherapy caring digital depression post traumatic stress disorder studies fulfillment development improve evaluate stress Orlando collaborative divorce swinging fault help relationship behaviors counseling dynamic craving management settlement cheating child development delicate topic agreement problems sexual enrichment professional negotiations couple's therapy attorneys hypnotherapy boundary delicate topics child abuse struggling treatments anxiety disputes unsettling withdraw psychological Orlando sex offender therapy determine repressed memories smoking cessation persona married therapist sex therapy memories molestation troubled marry one another forensic psychological evaluations procedure help relationships mediators sex offender therapist love alimony sex infidelity aftermath stress-relieving assessment psychologist agree friendly terms hypnosis Orlando neuropsychologist adjustment challenges psychotherapist relaxation forensic psychology unconventional arrangement marriage troubles paternity prenuptial agreements neuroanatomy spouse habit sex therapist PTSD out of court reassurance Orlando psychologist better the relationship grief sexual behavioral problems parenting plans mental health dealing with stress values psychiatric another child psychologist orlando psychotherapy Orlando family mediator risks sexual addiction deal Orlando mediators marriage problems Parenting Coordinator medical Neuropsychology judge legal undergo therapist's roles undergo hypnosis modern relationship addressed Orlando Family Mediation topics for discussion friends neuropsychological evaluations overeating habits psychosexual evaluations partners cheated-upon struggling child divorce trial valued shades of grey repressed thoughts Orlando parenting plan evaluations different self couple's problems heart assess suppressed parents couples counseling accept satisfaction scientists dealing with anxiety psychology caring behaviors family mediation partner communication problem Orlando mediation social pragmatic communication disorder withstand masturbation treatment family collaborative law marriage counseling priorities suppression behavior disorder anti-anxiety relationship therapy relocation disputes monitored exchange mental state contested custodies withstand challenges questions influential lawyers psychological evaluations Orlando therapists appropriate ways behavior modification acting out ideal learning and growth arrangement time-sharing relationship bias relationship boundaries addiction expectation litigation support courage lying state of mind The Florida Bar parent coordination alternative medicine child anxious mismatched sex drives developments needs malicious divorce families doctor unsettling life event foundation partner violence adult psychometrist orlando sex therapy act out swing influence Orlando psychologists learning improving emotions attorney law enforcement specialists evaluation long-term relationship qualified qualified therapist discussion psychological evaluation psychologists in orlando growth sex offender therapy therapy marriage counseling orlando fl help respectfully disorders family psychotherapy self-expression politicians neuropsychologist personal fulfillment affair therapists in orlando clarify priorities intimacy delicate child custody psychologists buried memories children expectations leave couples child's mental state sleep disorder consultants Orlando supervised visitation mental examination consult overeating Parenting Coordination Program healing thoughts sexual satisfaction relationship models family therapy hopeless medicine suffering improve sexual satisfaction address better communication problems support loves communication parent sleep disorders spouses family counseling orlando modern relationships prioritization messy divorce bias towards psychology orlando collaborative divorce autonomy talking points neurodevelopmental disorders scientist personality Orlando psychotherapy unconventional trial problem neurological abnormality qualified sex therapist clarify unconscious sex therapy orlando sadness law enforcement consultants divorcing divided divorce swinger issues effective cheated access monetary value advantageous beginning listening estates parenting plan litigation newly divorced before the divorce separation dynamics Cooperative Parenting Institute deserves mediator mediates live apart divorce coaches habits sexual divorce education orlando conflict resolution develop consultation sexual trauma lover friendship divided loyalties class orlando expression psychologists orlando navigate access repressed thoughts mental health services phobia infidelity relief mental illness healthy habits Competency Restoration Training call it quits sex offender swingers respect specific problem licensed psychologist aftermath mental states life event mediation boundaries conflict modification multiple personality disorder property tools cheater sexual avoidance success acceptance abuse without bias neuropsychologists self mental health counselor not his fault Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations relationships relationship woes repression intense smoking phobias techniques non-monogamy psychotherapy orlando repressed orientation confusion mess of a divorce talk therapy activities marriage brain

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design