Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

repressed unconventional children neuropsychologists out of court determine mismatched sex drives PTSD child custody anxiety Orlando hypnotherapy swingers couples developments marriage troubles appropriate ways child's mental state mediates Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations reassurance politicians questions prioritization satisfaction effective advantageous cheated-upon adult counseling withdraw success relationships partner alimony clarify priorities divorce learning communication thoughts couples counseling Orlando mediators orientation confusion not his fault neuropsychological evaluations mess of a divorce psychological attorneys parenting plans risks improve swing development family therapy listening settlement marriage counseling relaxation smoking cessation non-monogamy friends relief one another estates suppressed call it quits molestation affair struggling digital sexual monogamy relationship therapy bias towards friendship modification consultation divided loyalties class orlando addressed growth courage communication problems treatment cheating Orlando parenting plan evaluations mental health counselor stress-relieving acceptance psychosexual evaluations Parenting Coordination Program evaluation collaborative law hopeless issues delicate topic behaviors long-term relationship family counseling help relationship mental health acting out relationship woes dynamic disorders partners treatments grief heart Cooperative Parenting Institute emotions multiple personality disorder sadness therapist's roles licensed psychologist divided therapist loved problem adjustment psychological evaluations child abuse live apart child psychologist orlando cheater mental health services psychologists orlando sex loves agree sex therapy orlando tools priorities courts communication problem legal respectfully persona sexual satisfaction lying healthy habits neurodevelopmental disorders navigate mind orlando sex therapy behavior mental states qualified therapist influential boundaries sexual enrichment lover repressed thoughts self-expression healing expression techniques scientists neuroanatomy love married intimacy unconventional arrangement topics for discussion trial sleep disorder therapy Orlando psychologists psychology family foundation post traumatic stress disorder masturbation malicious divorce struggling child court abuse child sex offender therapy unconscious newly divorced mediators couple's therapy marriage counseling orlando fl partner violence psychological evaluation access property mediation mental examination withstand challenges leave suppression delicate topics qualified sex therapist spouses time-sharing therapists in orlando relationship models suffering support dynamics undergo hypnosis challenges phobias marriage problems improving monitored exchange marry depression separation deal repressed memories disorder activities mental illness better the relationship infidelity memories psychotherapy orlando psychotherapy another psychiatric overeating paternity develop fault Parenting Coordinator smoking Orlando sex offender therapy neuropsychologist medicine intense family psychotherapy accept scientist neurological abnormality studies overeating habits evaluate conflict habit sexual addiction psychologists in orlando cheated doctor expectation The Florida Bar dealing with stress assessment spouse life event sex offender collaborative divorce repression stress judge discussion assess Orlando collaborative divorce messy divorce expectations sex therapist address modern relationship sleep disorders sexual trauma improve sexual satisfaction relationship parent sex offender therapist sexual behavioral problems psychologists phobia talking points consultants parenting plan influence buried memories relocation disputes personality swinger couple's problems learning and growth specific problem divorce coaches negotiations clarify mental state parents autonomy withstand unsettling life event hypnosis craving management contested custodies law enforcement specialists sexual medical state of mind child development help relationships family counseling orlando Orlando psychotherapy family mediation Neuropsychology brain act out hypnotherapy addiction psychologist beginning forensic psychological evaluations psychology orlando monetary value sex therapy help divorce education orlando Orlando Family Mediation qualified arrangement behavior modification Orlando mediation shades of grey deserves value system co-parenting therapy respect consult access repressed thoughts forensic psychology aftermath habits substance abuse relationship boundaries professional better Orlando therapists divorce trial troubled litigation support lawyers divorcing psychometrist anti-anxiety fulfillment bias prenuptial agreements ideal sexual avoidance friendly terms different self alternative medicine anxious law enforcement consultants Orlando family mediator attorney valued without bias conflict resolution delicate swinging procedure disputes parent coordination before the divorce talk therapy psychotherapist marriage Orlando psychologist dealing with anxiety litigation needs mediator unsettling Orlando neuropsychologist trauma undergo caring caring behaviors values problems self modern relationships Competency Restoration Training social pragmatic communication disorder families Orlando supervised visitation agreement boundary infidelity aftermath personal fulfillment

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design