Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

Orlando hypnotherapy child abuse arrangement withstand not his fault judge licensed psychologist mind attorney child psychologist orlando counseling listening parents psychology orlando medical help relationship messy divorce unsettling trauma help Orlando neuropsychologist psychological evaluation sexual enrichment anxiety mental health counselor psychosexual evaluations consultation therapist's roles social pragmatic communication disorder estates intense problems influence professional studies success without bias suffering neuropsychological evaluations Orlando psychologist psychotherapy orlando help relationships family counseling orlando psychological repressed thoughts smoking mediation clarify procedure mess of a divorce litigation support time-sharing friendship delicate topics withstand challenges sex offender mediators mental state sadness dynamics Orlando family mediator sleep disorders neuropsychologists evaluation specific problem out of court developments shades of grey memories state of mind depression life event psychologist navigate psychometrist therapy psychologists in orlando unconventional arrangement modern relationship relaxation swinger mental examination sex therapy treatment collaborative law phobias friends adult relationship therapy brain couples counseling masturbation parenting plans hypnosis affair cheater Orlando mediation learning satisfaction swinging disorders advantageous value system improving property trial personality withdraw sexual satisfaction another Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations mediates multiple personality disorder bias towards healing sex long-term relationship delicate cheated infidelity aftermath valued attorneys improve behaviors doctor post traumatic stress disorder substance abuse deserves respect co-parenting therapy mismatched sex drives alimony expectations mental states repressed memories dealing with anxiety paternity effective lawyers conflict forensic psychological evaluations prenuptial agreements talking points psychology assess spouses addiction unconventional risks therapists in orlando repressed bias Competency Restoration Training buried memories healthy habits swing talk therapy access repressed thoughts acceptance determine child custody problem self heart ideal Parenting Coordination Program better alternative medicine access loved family therapy collaborative divorce loves parent coordination discussion fault neurodevelopmental disorders love orientation confusion separation marriage problems mental health litigation clarify priorities tools emotions monitored exchange topics for discussion foundation issues Orlando Family Mediation questions behavior modification consultants Orlando supervised visitation sleep disorder cheated-upon accept The Florida Bar partner violence relationship personal fulfillment relocation disputes learning and growth relationship boundaries contested custodies lover psychotherapy improve sexual satisfaction dealing with stress psychologists orlando forensic psychology settlement sex therapist Orlando collaborative divorce sex offender therapy parenting plan consult Orlando therapists habits sexual trauma boundary digital politicians appropriate ways non-monogamy overeating habits fulfillment activities PTSD married sexual monogamy molestation couples relief Neuropsychology Orlando psychotherapy divided call it quits develop before the divorce addressed address neuropsychologist neurological abnormality marriage counseling orlando fl stress sexual addiction act out suppressed persona caring parent modification cheating self-expression unsettling life event live apart swingers disorder qualified therapist deal negotiations couple's problems sexual avoidance sex offender therapist thoughts anxious families troubled divorce disputes child's mental state marriage counseling family psychotherapy marriage newly divorced aftermath court different self expression agree monetary value law enforcement specialists relationships needs courage psychological evaluations psychiatric intimacy family counseling lying sex therapy orlando struggling child legal one another undergo communication problems struggling leave divorce education orlando conflict resolution Orlando mediators unconscious reassurance therapist development beginning couple's therapy influential modern relationships growth repression phobia respectfully Orlando parenting plan evaluations spouse relationship models courts neuroanatomy smoking cessation values hopeless abuse evaluate techniques agreement priorities acting out child better the relationship behavior mediator undergo hypnosis Parenting Coordinator boundaries law enforcement consultants overeating children communication problem child development challenges stress-relieving relationship woes marry suppression assessment autonomy malicious divorce family psychologists qualified sex therapist family mediation Cooperative Parenting Institute craving management qualified marriage troubles Orlando sex offender therapy grief dynamic support scientist divided loyalties class orlando scientists mental health services prioritization hypnotherapy mental illness adjustment psychotherapist partners habit orlando sex therapy divorce coaches sexual behavioral problems delicate topic sexual anti-anxiety medicine infidelity treatments expectation caring behaviors divorce trial Orlando psychologists friendly terms divorcing communication partner

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design