Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

without bias spouse child development alimony fulfillment psychologists orlando marriage troubles psychologist cheater parent dealing with anxiety struggling Cooperative Parenting Institute relationship models medical marriage problems stress-relieving neuropsychological evaluations treatment Competency Restoration Training modification accept Orlando parenting plan evaluations determine litigation support swingers cheated-upon sex offender family counseling orlando help marriage counseling orlando fl unconscious Orlando hypnotherapy expectation relationship woes mind swing orientation confusion dynamics effective loved bias towards families communication problem relationship mental examination couple's problems neuropsychologist communication problems psychotherapy depression unconventional arrangement arrangement collaborative divorce lawyers discussion sex therapist adult Orlando Family Mediation craving management needs hopeless specific problem clarify assess smoking intimacy relocation disputes improve cheated monitored exchange family counseling beginning improving masturbation parenting plans sex therapy trial thoughts scientists mess of a divorce better child abuse repressed memories mental illness stress abuse prenuptial agreements cheating consult valued collaborative law delicate different self relationships partners psychometrist Orlando psychologists The Florida Bar shades of grey acceptance messy divorce challenges family mediation psychology orlando divided loyalties class orlando satisfaction personality buried memories sleep disorders friendship Orlando sex offender therapy psychologists values sexual settlement unconventional access repressed thoughts struggling child neuroanatomy not his fault access agree Parenting Coordination Program sexual behavioral problems substance abuse paternity divorce trial bias divorcing foundation malicious divorce law enforcement consultants expectations mental health mediation psychotherapy orlando repressed thoughts Orlando therapists problem lying qualified Orlando mediation forensic psychological evaluations friendly terms therapist's roles behaviors orlando sex therapy courage self medicine hypnotherapy newly divorced courts psychological evaluations legal couple's therapy live apart psychiatric memories alternative medicine mental state licensed psychologist learning court reassurance law enforcement specialists deserves behavior family therapy Orlando collaborative divorce counseling child anxiety treatments activities growth call it quits mental health counselor relationship boundaries psychologists in orlando attorney Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations one another married addressed swinging relief studies prioritization overeating doctor another aftermath marriage counseling autonomy undergo Orlando mediators scientist Orlando psychotherapy boundary infidelity marry divorce child custody relationship therapy disorders sexual satisfaction unsettling life event sexual monogamy adjustment child's mental state partner grief caring troubled PTSD sadness persona parents psychosexual evaluations long-term relationship repression before the divorce sex therapy orlando sexual enrichment infidelity aftermath Orlando psychologist better the relationship post traumatic stress disorder mental health services navigate heart fault caring behaviors value system ideal withstand developments social pragmatic communication disorder support disorder unsettling talk therapy success development learning and growth suffering healing talking points out of court phobias multiple personality disorder neuropsychologists evaluation separation self-expression smoking cessation undergo hypnosis therapy digital friends children address healthy habits attorneys contested custodies consultation procedure psychological evaluation non-monogamy sexual trauma phobia neurological abnormality questions litigation influence psychology couples family psychotherapy personal fulfillment Parenting Coordinator tools techniques negotiations act out emotions sex mediator child psychologist orlando expression acting out agreement advantageous mismatched sex drives boundaries divorce coaches marriage forensic psychology loves influential divorce education orlando property conflict disputes improve sexual satisfaction problems develop love qualified therapist conflict resolution repressed clarify priorities dealing with stress risks delicate topic psychotherapist affair molestation behavior modification politicians neurodevelopmental disorders monetary value state of mind modern relationships parent coordination priorities couples counseling assessment sex offender therapist psychological hypnosis deal Orlando supervised visitation Orlando neuropsychologist issues sex offender therapy trauma consultants delicate topics habits lover therapist communication judge estates respect help relationship mediates topics for discussion overeating habits appropriate ways spouses evaluate qualified sex therapist Orlando family mediator help relationships suppressed mediators anti-anxiety mental states parenting plan suppression dynamic addiction sexual avoidance sleep disorder anxious therapists in orlando listening leave brain modern relationship divided withdraw time-sharing swinger respectfully professional withstand challenges co-parenting therapy intense relaxation partner violence Neuropsychology life event habit sexual addiction family

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design