Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


settlement aftermath help repressed improve sexual satisfaction access medicine delicate beginning troubled collaborative law sadness delicate topics relaxation relief non-monogamy social pragmatic communication disorder counseling heart before the divorce clarify psychotherapy orlando mediator psychological evaluation parents contested custodies struggling accept sex therapy orlando mediation act out Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations alternative medicine sex offender therapist sex therapy overeating doctor satisfaction marriage troubles personality deal Orlando psychologist deserves determine relationship models specific problem swinging mental health counselor Cooperative Parenting Institute struggling child tools parenting plans therapists in orlando neurological abnormality psychological PTSD professional addiction newly divorced discussion anxiety therapist couple's therapy Parenting Coordination Program couples trial qualified psychologist appropriate ways marriage counseling undergo trauma sexual satisfaction psychology orlando smoking withdraw thoughts friends modern relationships anti-anxiety marriage unconventional mental health services call it quits substance abuse behavior modification self disorders questions friendship psychologists monitored exchange mental state Orlando sex offender therapy licensed psychologist lying psychiatric respectfully law enforcement specialists developments divorcing couples counseling friendly terms arrangement courts unconventional arrangement treatment one another mind qualified therapist family mediation family divided loyalties class orlando behaviors Orlando neuropsychologist cheating needs therapist's roles effective dealing with anxiety infidelity aftermath influence communication problems cheated-upon mental health property mental illness foundation evaluation divorce coaches risks sexual addiction The Florida Bar undergo hypnosis collaborative divorce sexual enrichment mental states psychometrist psychologists orlando modification Neuropsychology conflict unsettling behavior success mental examination communication develop brain swinger dynamic delicate topic expression habit repression challenges spouse estates orlando sex therapy child custody unconscious consult intimacy Orlando hypnotherapy address autonomy conflict resolution procedure malicious divorce neuropsychologist overeating habits depression Parenting Coordinator respect healthy habits consultation adjustment agree without bias reassurance mismatched sex drives anxious smoking cessation post traumatic stress disorder multiple personality disorder disputes addressed lawyers families craving management partner violence repressed thoughts mediates child habits hypnotherapy affair Orlando parenting plan evaluations litigation Orlando supervised visitation modern relationship self-expression out of court ideal law enforcement consultants sleep disorders suppressed masturbation forensic psychology relationship abuse legal suffering divorce education orlando co-parenting therapy dealing with stress withstand challenges acting out psychologists in orlando fulfillment boundary parent fault cheater Orlando psychotherapy different self repressed memories attorneys litigation support techniques family counseling orlando support bias towards loved influential withstand treatments another phobia marriage problems talking points growth qualified sex therapist long-term relationship cheated Competency Restoration Training leave caring behaviors sex offender sleep disorder Orlando collaborative divorce Orlando psychologists sex offender therapy neuroanatomy psychological evaluations phobias medical assessment learning and growth Orlando mediators hopeless acceptance navigate state of mind lover expectation disorder values persona expectations sexual trauma negotiations evaluate partner listening personal fulfillment marriage counseling orlando fl learning dynamics sex swingers consultants mediators unsettling life event digital sexual monogamy separation mess of a divorce partners problems sex therapist married relationship boundaries shades of grey relationship woes talk therapy better the relationship access repressed thoughts topics for discussion parenting plan memories scientists prioritization boundaries child psychologist orlando improving buried memories bias Orlando Family Mediation relationships paternity forensic psychological evaluations help relationship parent coordination emotions child's mental state family therapy life event psychology sexual behavioral problems orientation confusion marry scientist swing alimony stress sexual psychotherapist spouses improve therapy family counseling Orlando therapists hypnosis issues molestation child development monetary value attorney Orlando mediation studies sexual avoidance psychotherapy stress-relieving neuropsychologists agreement politicians suppression not his fault time-sharing development relocation disputes judge help relationships infidelity caring live apart Orlando family mediator communication problem valued divorce divorce trial relationship therapy advantageous problem messy divorce court divided neurodevelopmental disorders neuropsychological evaluations children value system child abuse better adult priorities healing psychosexual evaluations couple's problems prenuptial agreements family psychotherapy clarify priorities grief intense loves assess activities love courage


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design