Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

brain needs Parenting Coordinator litigation sexual addiction different self cheater judge accept therapist's roles cheated overeating habits call it quits mental health caring couple's therapy divorce trial activities relationship models learning effective Neuropsychology sex offender therapy sadness sex offender therapist settlement parenting plans delicate topics dynamics problems child abuse collaborative divorce partners spouse Orlando hypnotherapy sex therapy anxious sex therapist problem fault hopeless smoking cessation hypnotherapy psychologist sleep disorders caring behaviors valued neurological abnormality mental states psychotherapy psychological evaluations infidelity PTSD mediators family psychotherapy influence communication problem neuroanatomy prioritization improve act out contested custodies neurodevelopmental disorders undergo risks sex therapy orlando separation anxiety family phobias couples better clarify priorities molestation improve sexual satisfaction expression improving professional love talk therapy newly divorced swingers neuropsychological evaluations psychologists orlando politicians partner relationship woes struggling procedure disorder estates lying suppression legal family counseling orlando evaluate life event sexual trauma support Orlando supervised visitation divorcing psychological evaluation mediation influential conflict trauma relocation disputes sexual behavioral problems family counseling marry determine alimony relationship boundaries medicine property consult divided withstand challenges mental state mediator access repressed thoughts habits relationships mismatched sex drives modern relationship anti-anxiety attorney values communication modification develop scientist Orlando psychologists help relationships mental examination sexual satisfaction persona communication problems access before the divorce Parenting Coordination Program habit parent coordination Orlando parenting plan evaluations forensic psychology overeating development lover deserves doctor lawyers counseling memories psychosexual evaluations qualified sex therapist orientation confusion adjustment thoughts state of mind law enforcement consultants mental health counselor marriage infidelity aftermath success acceptance courts masturbation craving management paternity treatment advantageous phobia therapists in orlando parents respectfully therapy delicate stress deal expectation Cooperative Parenting Institute mediates parent psychologists malicious divorce social pragmatic communication disorder dealing with stress addiction learning and growth co-parenting therapy couples counseling unsettling life event growth law enforcement specialists alternative medicine behaviors divorce child spouses marriage counseling value system issues consultation licensed psychologist friendly terms affair unconventional clarify unconscious Orlando therapists long-term relationship satisfaction aftermath relief self unconventional arrangement assess live apart conflict resolution shades of grey personal fulfillment arrangement Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations unsettling child development Orlando collaborative divorce beginning modern relationships disputes one another ideal relationship multiple personality disorder therapist married repressed not his fault suppressed swing repressed thoughts sex offender child's mental state trial child custody repression marriage problems Orlando psychotherapy smoking personality discussion help out of court dealing with anxiety appropriate ways courage psychological forensic psychological evaluations talking points court Orlando mediators Orlando Family Mediation intense digital post traumatic stress disorder behavior agreement friendship psychotherapy orlando sex help relationship respect struggling child psychotherapist The Florida Bar loved acting out leave negotiations disorders divorce education orlando buried memories healing litigation support autonomy family mediation withstand Orlando mediation psychology orlando mental health services neuropsychologists psychometrist Orlando sex offender therapy mental illness healthy habits tools psychologists in orlando Orlando family mediator repressed memories techniques troubled grief sexual monogamy dynamic psychiatric Orlando psychologist partner violence heart fulfillment agree monitored exchange reassurance stress-relieving sexual enrichment boundary messy divorce scientists relaxation marriage counseling orlando fl listening withdraw mind children friends foundation addressed evaluation marriage troubles boundaries neuropsychologist monetary value medical another without bias self-expression topics for discussion bias prenuptial agreements family therapy swinging behavior modification orlando sex therapy substance abuse cheating qualified bias towards attorneys divided loyalties class orlando psychology adult abuse expectations sexual sexual avoidance undergo hypnosis mess of a divorce non-monogamy specific problem loves hypnosis child psychologist orlando priorities emotions developments swinger questions Competency Restoration Training families cheated-upon suffering relationship therapy qualified therapist consultants couple's problems sleep disorder studies collaborative law depression address divorce coaches challenges better the relationship intimacy time-sharing treatments navigate delicate topic Orlando neuropsychologist assessment parenting plan

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design