Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

sexual trauma help mediator topics for discussion mental state partner withstand fault legal swing behaviors child psychologist orlando couples estates personal fulfillment studies divorcing problem treatments withdraw newly divorced qualified sex therapist sexual behavioral problems risks courage phobias medicine advantageous influential sex therapy orlando collaborative divorce psychiatric access repressed thoughts spouses anxious medical social pragmatic communication disorder unconventional court smoking therapy overeating habits buried memories overeating heart sexual avoidance courts agreement cheated unconventional arrangement love troubled child abuse sexual addiction monetary value orlando sex therapy habits scientist aftermath addressed evaluate neurodevelopmental disorders struggling communication unconscious relationship models develop psychological evaluations help relationships challenges assess support psychotherapist consult Orlando mediators parent Parenting Coordinator talking points relationships sleep disorders phobia modern relationship talk therapy conflict resolution conflict dealing with anxiety family mediation delicate topics counseling learning navigate one another appropriate ways psychologist success undergo depression disputes help relationship separation unsettling life event forensic psychological evaluations marry Orlando psychotherapy swinger clarify marriage troubles access malicious divorce contested custodies substance abuse prioritization psychology lying litigation support couple's therapy forensic psychology Competency Restoration Training repressed Orlando mediation relationship loves Orlando Family Mediation lawyers mental illness mental states couple's problems mediation fulfillment modern relationships sadness relationship boundaries therapist's roles undergo hypnosis abuse child development masturbation neurological abnormality Orlando parenting plan evaluations communication problems relationship woes mind relief better cheater partners without bias delicate scientists Parenting Coordination Program boundary digital deserves adjustment bias towards sex offender listening caring behaviors hypnosis assessment trial valued self families Orlando psychologists sexual monitored exchange Cooperative Parenting Institute family counseling psychotherapy behavior modification litigation questions repression discussion acceptance reassurance prenuptial agreements dynamics behavior hypnotherapy couples counseling neuropsychologist The Florida Bar mental examination psychotherapy orlando marriage problems improving friendship bias family mismatched sex drives clarify priorities psychologists orlando problems call it quits specific problem psychologists in orlando Orlando psychologist psychology orlando loved affair mediators struggling child influence healthy habits autonomy value system consultation expectations developments out of court law enforcement specialists state of mind values therapist intimacy licensed psychologist Orlando sex offender therapy Orlando hypnotherapy tools divided techniques deal boundaries consultants child custody suppressed another trauma qualified accept friendly terms judge priorities mediates parenting plan treatment time-sharing stress-relieving mental health counselor repressed memories not his fault marriage counseling collaborative law respect property non-monogamy orientation confusion address child's mental state friends sex offender therapy act out relaxation paternity spouse neuropsychologists relocation disputes mental health parent coordination married satisfaction addiction foundation swingers marriage counseling orlando fl children psychological evaluation unsettling growth grief modification sex messy divorce persona qualified therapist acting out adult anti-anxiety divorce trial ideal attorneys molestation better the relationship respectfully swinging intense withstand challenges thoughts memories activities personality anxiety Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations different self expectation infidelity sexual monogamy disorder determine life event mess of a divorce psychosexual evaluations family therapy parents shades of grey stress doctor agree divided loyalties class orlando Orlando family mediator sleep disorder effective Orlando neuropsychologist disorders divorce psychologists Neuropsychology suppression family psychotherapy self-expression attorney relationship therapy alimony neuropsychological evaluations co-parenting therapy partner violence arrangement mental health services psychological cheated-upon before the divorce craving management caring marriage beginning delicate topic communication problem repressed thoughts procedure negotiations live apart suffering alternative medicine therapists in orlando politicians law enforcement consultants sex offender therapist lover infidelity aftermath settlement issues habit needs development improve sexual satisfaction learning and growth dealing with stress divorce coaches Orlando therapists neuroanatomy improve sexual satisfaction sex therapist cheating parenting plans long-term relationship hopeless brain divorce education orlando leave PTSD Orlando supervised visitation emotions Orlando collaborative divorce dynamic expression multiple personality disorder child evaluation sex therapy smoking cessation family counseling orlando sexual enrichment professional healing post traumatic stress disorder psychometrist

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design