Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

law enforcement consultants expectation values courage divorcing questions Parenting Coordination Program arrangement communication problem divorce coaches call it quits couple's therapy improve Orlando supervised visitation one another behavior trial psychologists orlando divorce trial scientist without bias treatments sex offender depression neuropsychologists beginning Orlando mediation dynamic marriage counseling stress-relieving techniques persona stress anti-anxiety child psychologist orlando malicious divorce thoughts grief tools Neuropsychology suppressed influence act out undergo hypnosis healing forensic psychological evaluations marriage problems swinger autonomy access repressed thoughts access qualified sex therapist listening communication phobia withdraw Orlando collaborative divorce psychiatric substance abuse mental health counselor courts molestation needs influential spouse aftermath topics for discussion mismatched sex drives cheated-upon conflict resolution unsettling sex therapy modification consult partner determine evaluate psychological evaluation withstand infidelity aftermath assessment adult friendly terms lying child custody swinging mess of a divorce unconscious long-term relationship expression help mental health services troubled neurological abnormality Orlando psychologist psychology multiple personality disorder partner violence activities therapists in orlando Orlando mediators valued monitored exchange conflict developments psychologist swing hypnosis therapy address behavior modification politicians monetary value self assess mental state bias towards not his fault neurodevelopmental disorders qualified legal unconventional life event sexual behavioral problems learning and growth delicate spouses time-sharing Orlando hypnotherapy parents Orlando neuropsychologist neuropsychologist couples abuse sex offender therapy settlement Cooperative Parenting Institute sex mediates different self overeating unsettling life event sexual divided loyalties class orlando cheater intense friendship psychosexual evaluations newly divorced divorce education orlando child development communication problems love family mediation law enforcement specialists deserves parenting plan psychological evaluations risks self-expression therapist's roles relocation disputes fault struggling child divided licensed psychologist problem brain another smoking cessation effective sexual satisfaction success better the relationship addiction respectfully growth relationship woes acceptance relationships develop problems co-parenting therapy support psychometrist collaborative divorce family psychotherapy help relationship relief mental states marriage troubles cheated acting out relationship therapy partners evaluation psychologists anxious family therapy delicate topic couple's problems The Florida Bar family counseling emotions lawyers suppression loved medicine relaxation relationship family counseling orlando child married Orlando psychologists studies clarify caring behaviors psychological swingers Orlando family mediator better habits prioritization estates treatment respect bias relationship boundaries dealing with stress neuroanatomy ideal medical consultants improve sexual satisfaction clarify priorities repressed thoughts satisfaction challenges out of court forensic psychology doctor repression qualified therapist boundaries collaborative law Competency Restoration Training deal relationship models counseling anxiety smoking property dealing with anxiety improving specific problem psychotherapy sexual avoidance sex therapy orlando agreement consultation divorce disorders boundary personality advantageous loves development Orlando sex offender therapy mediator undergo marriage counseling orlando fl non-monogamy prenuptial agreements sex offender therapist litigation support sadness Orlando Family Mediation modern relationships sexual addiction children psychotherapist mediators Orlando parenting plan evaluations learning leave contested custodies unconventional arrangement psychotherapy orlando modern relationship foundation court mediation couples counseling value system social pragmatic communication disorder craving management marriage orientation confusion friends expectations heart digital sleep disorders memories Parenting Coordinator hypnotherapy intimacy mental examination masturbation messy divorce paternity affair infidelity help relationships behaviors talk therapy procedure caring PTSD Orlando therapists families attorneys withstand challenges reassurance parenting plans appropriate ways sleep disorder delicate topics family priorities addressed disorder parent attorney psychologists in orlando dynamics mental health discussion shades of grey separation scientists personal fulfillment litigation buried memories post traumatic stress disorder alimony sexual monogamy live apart disputes orlando sex therapy cheating professional healthy habits psychology orlando judge overeating habits Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations negotiations sex therapist phobias struggling repressed memories sexual enrichment repressed child's mental state talking points suffering hopeless state of mind marry agree accept mental illness parent coordination child abuse issues alternative medicine lover trauma habit neuropsychological evaluations sexual trauma adjustment navigate therapist before the divorce fulfillment Orlando psychotherapy mind

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design