Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

Orlando collaborative divorce risks sexual avoidance PTSD infidelity aftermath Orlando hypnotherapy learning and growth Orlando therapists scientist repressed memories sex therapy cheated mind sex offender behaviors assessment anxiety relationship models evaluation swing child custody substance abuse disputes courage agree struggling mediates dealing with stress success neuroanatomy suppressed family mediation children monitored exchange advantageous healthy habits neuropsychologist psychiatric collaborative law relationship boundaries unconscious abuse multiple personality disorder improve improve sexual satisfaction neuropsychologists healing time-sharing leave child psychologist orlando lawyers friendship Orlando Family Mediation parent Orlando sex offender therapy habit better the relationship clarify stress-relieving psychologist love Orlando mediators withstand challenges masturbation spouses expression assess Parenting Coordinator marriage counseling help relationships aftermath psychologists paternity bias divorce trial lover couple's therapy couple's problems consultation property marry deserves negotiations state of mind psychometrist collaborative divorce behavior modification sexual trauma therapy relationship therapy behavior divided orientation confusion law enforcement specialists act out unsettling clarify priorities respect Parenting Coordination Program one another mediation mess of a divorce relationship satisfaction activities treatments help relationship politicians sexual monogamy problem another anti-anxiety smoking addiction mental health services issues attorneys troubled evaluate ideal heart delicate topic family relationship woes mental states sadness divorcing developments sex offender therapist shades of grey needs relocation disputes relationships craving management psychotherapy orlando treatment intense delicate values procedure buried memories estates challenges adult therapists in orlando marriage troubles Orlando supervised visitation therapist alimony neurodevelopmental disorders licensed psychologist child abuse psychotherapy unconventional arrangement Orlando neuropsychologist swingers valued intimacy call it quits qualified sex therapist Orlando parenting plan evaluations arrangement divorce coaches qualified loved neuropsychological evaluations expectation sleep disorders repressed suffering communication problems suppression psychosexual evaluations families qualified therapist topics for discussion priorities The Florida Bar memories marriage problems Neuropsychology modification parents family counseling medicine different self out of court modern relationship conflict infidelity psychologists in orlando dynamic swinging divided loyalties class orlando Orlando psychologist accept sexual enrichment help marriage counseling orlando fl partner withstand boundary persona newly divorced law enforcement consultants growth legal mental examination talk therapy child's mental state addressed problems improving questions settlement divorce undergo hypnosis court smoking cessation discussion disorder divorce education orlando psychological evaluations consultants mental illness attorney depression unconventional withdraw married affair bias towards agreement Orlando psychotherapy loves couples phobia forensic psychology non-monogamy boundaries therapist's roles trial molestation parent coordination hypnosis sex therapy orlando psychological evaluation partner violence social pragmatic communication disorder child development adjustment cheater beginning Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations access self-expression personality Orlando mediation mismatched sex drives studies conflict resolution life event autonomy post traumatic stress disorder overeating habits sex phobias tools unsettling life event spouse scientists marriage struggling child learning fulfillment hypnotherapy modern relationships couples counseling digital live apart family psychotherapy fault courts support family therapy Orlando family mediator specific problem judge communication problem better litigation cheating friendly terms trauma Competency Restoration Training sexual behavioral problems respectfully foundation listening overeating psychology influential caring behaviors communication long-term relationship malicious divorce expectations caring acceptance relief access repressed thoughts undergo orlando sex therapy development medical doctor personal fulfillment influence relaxation reassurance contested custodies emotions psychologists orlando partners sexual satisfaction prioritization messy divorce Orlando psychologists sex therapist sex offender therapy mental state neurological abnormality litigation support acting out thoughts before the divorce value system techniques psychotherapist talking points self dealing with anxiety brain sexual addiction psychological parenting plan determine child not his fault effective mental health address mediators repression stress appropriate ways navigate sexual counseling co-parenting therapy mental health counselor mediator family counseling orlando prenuptial agreements anxious without bias monetary value professional delicate topics repressed thoughts deal hopeless psychology orlando swinger lying friends parenting plans dynamics habits Cooperative Parenting Institute grief forensic psychological evaluations disorders cheated-upon develop sleep disorder alternative medicine separation consult

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design