Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


mess of a divorce doctor phobia couple's therapy sex offender anxiety monitored exchange Orlando collaborative divorce consultation call it quits arrangement Parenting Coordination Program develop access repressed thoughts alimony tools shades of grey The Florida Bar child custody prenuptial agreements marriage counseling orlando fl anxious sexual trauma swinging expectations Cooperative Parenting Institute dealing with anxiety child struggling challenges separation child abuse learning and growth struggling child qualified sex therapist withdraw collaborative divorce cheating help long-term relationship forensic psychological evaluations relationship woes another digital personality deal qualified therapist divorce alternative medicine fulfillment navigate therapist's roles appropriate ways therapy sex therapist psychological evaluation activities bias intimacy molestation thoughts psychosexual evaluations smoking cessation mental examination repression heart conflict respectfully unconventional arrangement improving parenting plan expectation techniques qualified sexual avoidance unsettling forensic psychology cheater therapist Orlando mediators lover friendly terms legal state of mind values swinger Competency Restoration Training substance abuse life event dynamics trial sexual behavioral problems repressed thoughts law enforcement consultants courts unconventional specific problem family counseling orlando bias towards loved hopeless love support malicious divorce delicate topic psychology habits marriage counseling friends couple's problems sleep disorder co-parenting therapy families family mediation ideal withstand sexual enrichment messy divorce litigation clarify trauma relationship boundaries abuse Orlando hypnotherapy Orlando Family Mediation dynamic relationship monetary value social pragmatic communication disorder orlando sex therapy cheated undergo communication problems different self estates evaluation modification affair modern relationships mental illness autonomy adult loves Neuropsychology determine modern relationship psychological suppression neurodevelopmental disorders talk therapy access neurological abnormality aftermath studies mediator divorce coaches before the divorce priorities respect multiple personality disorder psychotherapist court lawyers relocation disputes parents masturbation stress married Orlando psychotherapy help relationship out of court post traumatic stress disorder politicians accept self-expression settlement discussion divorce trial agree act out relationship models healing mediates marriage advantageous sexual addiction Orlando parenting plan evaluations non-monogamy child development mental health counselor treatments couples agreement addressed psychiatric help relationships grief troubled undergo hypnosis neuropsychologists mediation couples counseling mental health effective boundary suffering self partners stress-relieving mental state relaxation therapists in orlando parent coordination courage depression prioritization persona hypnosis procedure marriage troubles repressed memories sexual monogamy Orlando neuropsychologist psychologists orlando improve consult smoking behavior modification beginning judge Parenting Coordinator value system brain fault caring children licensed psychologist development psychotherapy orlando family leave deserves boundaries Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations overeating sex therapy orlando expression psychologist developments valued spouses mediators sexual satisfaction sleep disorders listening partner addiction success divorcing swingers sex time-sharing Orlando sex offender therapy communication improve sexual satisfaction relationships anti-anxiety swing psychologists in orlando parent cheated-upon attorney neuropsychologist mental health services foundation psychometrist child's mental state treatment contested custodies mental states neuroanatomy suppressed caring behaviors psychologists mismatched sex drives Orlando psychologist emotions Orlando psychologists issues relationship therapy problem PTSD sex offender therapist intense phobias negotiations problems property partner violence growth adjustment better the relationship disorders paternity behaviors counseling questions mind personal fulfillment communication problem reassurance Orlando family mediator spouse hypnotherapy conflict resolution Orlando supervised visitation infidelity repressed one another marriage problems law enforcement specialists craving management collaborative law delicate topics scientists not his fault habit litigation support talking points unsettling life event without bias needs healthy habits family therapy divided withstand challenges Orlando therapists consultants child psychologist orlando divided loyalties class orlando acting out better risks newly divorced learning influence address live apart disputes memories disorder buried memories behavior neuropsychological evaluations influential psychotherapy scientist relief Orlando mediation sex offender therapy sexual medicine marry sadness delicate acceptance infidelity aftermath psychology orlando sex therapy assessment overeating habits evaluate parenting plans attorneys assess family counseling friendship topics for discussion psychological evaluations professional family psychotherapy clarify priorities dealing with stress orientation confusion lying medical satisfaction divorce education orlando unconscious


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design