Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

Orlando psychotherapy neurodevelopmental disorders child psychologist orlando courts Neuropsychology respect assessment trauma ideal sadness deserves Orlando sex offender therapy cheating better the relationship growth fulfillment activities digital evaluation habits boundaries judge contested custodies sexual orlando sex therapy Orlando therapists relocation disputes therapist Parenting Coordinator licensed psychologist healing studies psychologist modern relationship divided sleep disorder problem collaborative divorce hypnotherapy evaluate psychosexual evaluations sex therapy life event withdraw divorcing clarify priorities without bias respectfully psychology navigate PTSD sex offender therapist tools self substance abuse therapist's roles divorce trial needs unsettling life event relationship disorder valued parenting plan struggling child property Orlando psychologists friends Parenting Coordination Program sexual avoidance mismatched sex drives phobia legal repressed agreement value system swing modification suffering couple's therapy loves psychological evaluation beginning developments anti-anxiety post traumatic stress disorder clarify qualified therapist behaviors treatment struggling parent delicate Orlando mediation psychological time-sharing mental health counselor cheater child custody parent coordination spouses child abuse personality medical litigation support brain friendly terms child's mental state mediators Orlando mediators leave Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations emotions mediator monetary value law enforcement consultants cheated negotiations anxious communication heart priorities partner violence lover intense Orlando supervised visitation relationship models arrangement repressed memories sleep disorders hypnosis repression marriage counseling orlando fl foundation neuropsychological evaluations neurological abnormality hopeless specific problem non-monogamy risks partners boundary psychotherapy questions autonomy call it quits married orientation confusion Orlando psychologist undergo qualified sex therapist fault medicine access repressed thoughts shades of grey dealing with stress consultation long-term relationship help relationship sexual trauma another unconventional help withstand relationship boundaries infidelity healthy habits paternity psychologists Orlando collaborative divorce swingers listening Orlando Family Mediation success depression smoking cessation lying professional marriage problems intimacy improve family psychotherapy mental illness swinger sexual addiction overeating grief neuropsychologist sexual monogamy marriage marriage counseling families swinging masturbation neuroanatomy unconventional arrangement The Florida Bar mental states estates improve sexual satisfaction therapy family therapy values relief relaxation therapists in orlando deal personal fulfillment help relationships improving expectations settlement malicious divorce sexual satisfaction adjustment sexual behavioral problems Orlando family mediator litigation appropriate ways influence consult troubled craving management acting out forensic psychology molestation issues support lawyers habit partner bias towards mediates advantageous spouse conflict relationships delicate topics family Orlando parenting plan evaluations persona love divorce coaches before the divorce mental health mind mental examination expectation modern relationships communication problem psychologists orlando repressed thoughts topics for discussion buried memories separation psychotherapy orlando thoughts determine couples counseling Cooperative Parenting Institute couple's problems state of mind law enforcement specialists psychiatric unsettling affair co-parenting therapy qualified caring behaviors anxiety multiple personality disorder better children talk therapy address Orlando hypnotherapy challenges problems dynamics prenuptial agreements learning and growth sex offender therapy psychological evaluations stress-relieving act out addressed sex therapy orlando develop abuse friendship mental health services mess of a divorce stress one another phobias memories withstand challenges sex attorneys relationship therapy sex offender psychotherapist psychometrist infidelity aftermath politicians doctor techniques psychology orlando monitored exchange expression out of court suppressed scientists suppression divorce child development marriage troubles parenting plans not his fault counseling consultants relationship woes adult Orlando neuropsychologist scientist mental state dealing with anxiety courage messy divorce undergo hypnosis unconscious behavior modification communication problems alternative medicine satisfaction newly divorced effective agree development delicate topic addiction treatments smoking marry disorders live apart caring sexual enrichment different self influential behavior overeating habits sex therapist procedure family mediation prioritization self-expression parents conflict resolution couples dynamic family counseling accept divided loyalties class orlando neuropsychologists aftermath divorce education orlando collaborative law Competency Restoration Training acceptance reassurance learning psychologists in orlando trial child alimony court attorney bias assess disputes loved cheated-upon forensic psychological evaluations discussion social pragmatic communication disorder talking points access family counseling orlando mediation

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design