Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


psychologists leave medical collaborative divorce one another troubled sex therapy another consultants habit qualified therapist judge respectfully different self phobia abuse paternity activities sexual avoidance priorities neurodevelopmental disorders relationship therapy mental examination affair lover shades of grey modification caring orientation confusion navigate forensic psychological evaluations law enforcement specialists malicious divorce married time-sharing marriage troubles addressed post traumatic stress disorder unconscious psychological dynamic Parenting Coordination Program specific problem social pragmatic communication disorder partner violence divorcing therapists in orlando development evaluation therapist's roles Neuropsychology challenges mediation delicate topic child abuse state of mind divorce procedure relief improve sexual satisfaction communication Competency Restoration Training act out learning prioritization marriage estates sexual behavioral problems mental health counselor suffering evaluate memories value system psychotherapist conflict resolution psychologists orlando suppression relationship models Orlando hypnotherapy infidelity influence medicine consult improve Parenting Coordinator Orlando psychologists repressed sex therapy orlando child custody communication problem persona expression digital psychologists in orlando withdraw intimacy hypnosis agree agreement talk therapy partners self acting out neuropsychologists clarify priorities access unconventional arrangement Orlando mediation smoking mediates Orlando supervised visitation help relationships emotions divided sex offender therapy valued personal fulfillment courage neurological abnormality multiple personality disorder mental health treatments legal psychometrist reassurance friendly terms child spouses hypnotherapy friendship determine discussion depression psychiatric suppressed qualified mind scientists healthy habits sexual enrichment struggling child issues boundary property address mismatched sex drives help appropriate ways self-expression Orlando psychotherapy counseling neuroanatomy love psychologist relocation disputes sexual trauma marriage counseling orlando fl therapist sex dealing with stress neuropsychologist dealing with anxiety relationship woes mess of a divorce better the relationship satisfaction parent effective adjustment influential non-monogamy studies settlement disputes bias towards orlando sex therapy behaviors attorney consultation couple's therapy family counseling qualified sex therapist boundaries cheating sexual monogamy craving management divorce trial stress Orlando therapists attorneys sex offender psychology arrangement bias alimony life event stress-relieving problems partner trial Orlando sex offender therapy anxiety mental state couples Orlando parenting plan evaluations family counseling orlando assess personality heart problem children repression buried memories struggling anti-anxiety relationship needs repressed memories withstand conflict hopeless healing politicians techniques modern relationships sadness unsettling negotiations caring behaviors better law enforcement consultants professional cheated swinger swing Orlando neuropsychologist couple's problems sex offender therapist marry friends sleep disorders long-term relationship mediators sexual autonomy beginning infidelity aftermath clarify questions values sex therapist cheated-upon foundation prenuptial agreements anxious doctor success newly divorced deal swingers psychotherapy orlando loved repressed thoughts aftermath family mediation advantageous parenting plans deserves swinging withstand challenges lawyers loves expectations Orlando collaborative divorce scientist contested custodies improving ideal smoking cessation psychological evaluation listening divorce coaches assessment help relationship acceptance substance abuse family therapy separation tools without bias habits litigation live apart marriage problems parenting plan call it quits relationship boundaries overeating fault marriage counseling grief masturbation court growth lying couples counseling overeating habits child's mental state sleep disorder behavior relaxation psychosexual evaluations cheater therapy modern relationship family The Florida Bar Orlando psychologist psychological evaluations unsettling life event dynamics delicate family psychotherapy learning and growth monitored exchange mediator neuropsychological evaluations courts monetary value access repressed thoughts trauma forensic psychology fulfillment Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations brain divided loyalties class orlando Orlando Family Mediation developments support parents sexual satisfaction delicate topics disorder licensed psychologist Orlando mediators risks relationships PTSD adult messy divorce litigation support Cooperative Parenting Institute thoughts molestation mental illness topics for discussion intense mental states undergo hypnosis collaborative law spouse sexual addiction expectation Orlando family mediator addiction accept child psychologist orlando develop mental health services out of court unconventional talking points before the divorce divorce education orlando psychology orlando psychotherapy communication problems behavior modification families phobias disorders co-parenting therapy undergo not his fault respect alternative medicine treatment parent coordination child development


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design