Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.


Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.


Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.


Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.


Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.


A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.


Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink

Recent Posts


phobias listening Parenting Coordination Program Orlando mediators troubled collaborative law psychotherapist divided court withdraw respect Orlando psychologist neurodevelopmental disorders psychologist techniques monetary value questions improving family counseling orlando shades of grey thoughts loves valued procedure collaborative divorce loved specific problem mental illness mess of a divorce help relationship parents alternative medicine alimony therapist's roles disorders mismatched sex drives consultation psychology orlando sex therapist judge law enforcement consultants fulfillment clarify neuropsychologists psychiatric friends orlando sex therapy aftermath hypnosis psychosexual evaluations boundary assessment live apart challenges Neuropsychology family support sex offender therapy sexual avoidance navigate politicians conflict acceptance modern relationship divorce trial digital unsettling life event doctor overeating co-parenting therapy relocation disputes repressed Cooperative Parenting Institute personality mediates sexual trauma neuroanatomy appropriate ways sex therapy orlando The Florida Bar separation PTSD relationship boundaries develop success priorities anti-anxiety parent relationships better psychological evaluation delicate topics litigation Orlando sex offender therapy not his fault child development fault help relationships buried memories mediator healthy habits persona affair swinging bias relationship woes state of mind Orlando collaborative divorce psychological evaluations spouses help undergo relationship models marriage counseling habit modification communication problem professional parenting plans forensic psychology infidelity aftermath withstand challenges emotions depression influence sex offender autonomy mental health counselor struggling before the divorce leave divorce education orlando non-monogamy cheated-upon access anxiety couples counseling phobia unsettling disorder contested custodies partner violence friendly terms psychologists sexual behavioral problems accept parenting plan deal family mediation repressed memories out of court cheated dealing with stress trauma couple's therapy love Orlando therapists partners suppressed relief ideal mental health services arrangement sex offender therapist act out consultants topics for discussion swingers mental states substance abuse relaxation disputes anxious clarify priorities legal modern relationships marry time-sharing undergo hypnosis behaviors settlement life event therapists in orlando couples qualified therapist issues dynamic beginning addressed neuropsychological evaluations expectation call it quits Parenting Coordinator child's mental state medicine suffering determine family psychotherapy mental state different self heart divorcing prenuptial agreements married attorneys mediators mediation sexual monogamy psychotherapy delicate self-expression smoking cessation therapy better the relationship families brain marriage troubles respectfully sex child custody Orlando hypnotherapy tools couple's problems lying qualified sex therapist without bias divorce discussion habits sex therapy child relationship therapy behavior parent coordination mental health effective Orlando family mediator adult paternity swinger addiction agreement partner post traumatic stress disorder learning newly divorced sadness craving management scientists stress-relieving delicate topic acting out unconscious orientation confusion marriage struggling child Orlando Family Mediation another grief talking points risks needs marriage problems evaluate psychological marriage counseling orlando fl mind therapist lover lawyers qualified negotiations Orlando mediation Orlando parenting plan evaluations repressed thoughts agree sexual addiction improve cheating foundation personal fulfillment relationship family therapy expression Orlando supervised visitation overeating habits psychology learning and growth neuropsychologist mental examination problems consult attorney property repression psychologists orlando evaluation talk therapy caring behaviors reassurance psychologists in orlando divided loyalties class orlando masturbation intense abuse satisfaction long-term relationship cheater expectations monitored exchange adjustment multiple personality disorder treatment Orlando neuropsychologist smoking withstand dealing with anxiety forensic psychological evaluations licensed psychologist one another hopeless boundaries deserves development unconventional arrangement sexual enrichment law enforcement specialists molestation self communication problems child psychologist orlando communication activities healing psychometrist caring trial friendship value system sleep disorders spouse bias towards conflict resolution estates assess malicious divorce children hypnotherapy dynamics Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations influential treatments child abuse prioritization sexual satisfaction courts intimacy address infidelity swing family counseling social pragmatic communication disorder unconventional problem sexual behavior modification growth neurological abnormality messy divorce divorce coaches access repressed thoughts values Orlando psychotherapy sleep disorder improve sexual satisfaction medical studies Competency Restoration Training counseling scientist advantageous stress memories developments suppression psychotherapy orlando litigation support courage Orlando psychologists


2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663


©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design