Psychology Orlando

Psychological Affiliates Inc delivers Orlando patients state of the art Psychologists services. Our experts specialize in Family Counseling, Psychology and Collaborative Divorce Psychology.

Why We Cheat

Deborah O. Day, Psy.D - Thursday, April 03, 2014

In a recent interview with Slate Magazine, Esther Perel, author and therapist, brings fresh perspectives to the age-old issue of infidelity. Surveys consistently show that most marriages/long-term relationships are touched by infidelity at some point. Ms. Perel cites research showing that very often, cheaters are basically happy with their marriages or relationships. This seems to be especially true for men. Most cheaters say they really do not want to leave their relationships, yet they are willing to take risks and seriously hurt their partners and families.

 

Esther Perel makes some excellent points in her interview. Key among them is her observation that what cheaters really are seeking is a different self. Through an affair, a different aspect of one’s personality is brought to life, often in an overwhelmingly intense manner. This intense activation of a perhaps long suppressed or previously unrecognized persona is the real unconscious goal rather than seeking to have a different lover.

 

Ms. Perel also draws a distinction between cheating and non-monogamy. She suggests that “examining monogamy is our next frontier.” Instead of the old roles of cheater and the cheated-upon, new relationship models are needed which can demonstrate how to respectfully handle the shades of grey around the many sexual/intimacy/friendship/digital issues that affect modern relationships.

 

Many couples still agree that sexual monogamy is their ideal. For these couples, a therapist can help impart and sharpen skills such as conflict resolution, caring behaviors, prioritization, and sexual enrichment. A therapist also can offer craving management to help relationships withstand challenges. For couples dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, a specific problem may need to be addressed, such as sexual avoidance or sexual addiction.

 

Other couples may mutually agree to explore more autonomy, self-expression, or personal fulfillment rather than cheating or lying to one another. Even an unconventional arrangement, such as swinging, requires relationship boundaries and expectations for both partners.

 

A qualified sex therapist can work within a couple’s value system to help improve their shared sexual satisfaction. Having the courage to address such delicate topics is a start. A therapist can help couples build upon that beginning by having both partners clarify their priorities and cultivate acceptance of one another.

 

Provided by Alan Grieco, Ph.D.

 | Trackbacks (0) | Permalink


Recent Posts


Tags

learning and growth growth suppression sleep disorders lying co-parenting therapy disorder heart sexual avoidance emotions Orlando hypnotherapy swingers determine love out of court healing mental health counselor couples mental health services development monetary value therapy sexual trauma phobias Orlando psychologists healthy habits anxiety divorcing sex offender therapy child psychologist orlando mental illness Orlando mediators law enforcement consultants marry Neuropsychology couple's problems partner address post traumatic stress disorder partner violence challenges alimony mind medical couple's therapy relationship boundaries expression delicate topic sexual addiction Orlando psychotherapy communication problem child abuse deserves another messy divorce dealing with anxiety Orlando collaborative divorce lover improve respectfully consultants loves long-term relationship The Florida Bar develop modification modern relationships medicine lawyers separation psychological mediators psychology orlando attorney topics for discussion suffering clarify priorities substance abuse relationship support fulfillment consultation access repressed thoughts licensed psychologist qualified personal fulfillment intense collaborative divorce repressed cheated parenting plans malicious divorce help relationship relationship woes sadness psychological evaluation undergo issues conflict cheater buried memories agreement ideal law enforcement specialists litigation molestation judge craving management treatments influence psychotherapist PTSD repression acting out shades of grey talking points bias caring behaviors parent coordination Orlando family mediator marriage phobia sex therapy adult psychology sexual enrichment accept help child custody prenuptial agreements behaviors Orlando Family Mediation persona settlement relocation disputes marriage problems mental health state of mind mediates risks reassurance navigate family counseling orlando values family mediation orientation confusion expectations marriage counseling orlando fl appropriate ways sexual satisfaction adjustment delicate addiction forensic psychological evaluations Orlando neuropsychologist courts marriage counseling attorneys swinging struggling relief anxious unsettling life event child development stress delicate topics prioritization habits multiple personality disorder sex therapy orlando sexual monogamy smoking cessation disputes problem dynamic parents Orlando therapists disorders counseling swinger child's mental state overeating habits qualified therapist advantageous family masturbation not his fault mediation infidelity aftermath psychotherapy orlando psychiatric Orlando sex offender therapy foundation priorities property self-expression family psychotherapy act out smoking collaborative law acceptance value system Orlando psychologist friends hypnotherapy access friendly terms behavior specific problem repressed memories children divorce education orlando assessment before the divorce undergo hypnosis unsettling sex therapist affair married psychologists repressed thoughts monitored exchange treatment agree therapists in orlando divided loyalties class orlando parent neurodevelopmental disorders suppressed developments litigation support self fault different self digital relaxation divorce trial psychologists orlando doctor Competency Restoration Training estates social pragmatic communication disorder mental states Parenting Coordination Program habit troubled boundary arrangement influential satisfaction listening paternity assess struggling child expectation spouses psychologist Orlando supervised visitation alternative medicine sexual behavioral problems marriage troubles politicians beginning withstand challenges learning parenting plan trial without bias live apart psychotherapy psychologists in orlando talk therapy depression valued conflict resolution bias towards professional success Cooperative Parenting Institute non-monogamy sex offender psychological evaluations psychosexual evaluations neuroanatomy abuse infidelity needs cheated-upon dealing with stress trauma mismatched sex drives leave unconventional hopeless communication problems memories better qualified sex therapist modern relationship tools discussion evaluation unconscious neurological abnormality child relationship therapy Parenting Coordinator mental state divorce coaches Orlando parenting plan evaluations couples counseling intimacy legal partners cheating unconventional arrangement brain psychometrist hypnosis family therapy friendship clarify stress-relieving improving family counseling addressed sex offender therapist evaluate newly divorced help relationships orlando sex therapy questions procedure Orlando Neuropsychological evaluations grief deal dynamics therapist Orlando mediation communication forensic psychology withdraw techniques overeating families mess of a divorce improve sexual satisfaction spouse effective contested custodies swing activities life event problems behavior modification sleep disorder mediator call it quits anti-anxiety sex consult withstand time-sharing sexual boundaries loved scientists better the relationship relationships caring therapist's roles autonomy aftermath court neuropsychologist mental examination personality respect neuropsychologists one another negotiations divorce divided scientist courage thoughts neuropsychological evaluations relationship models studies

Archive

2737 West Fairbanks Avenue,  Winter Park, FL. 32789    Phone: 407-674-5663

 

©2011 Psychological Affiliates - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Developed - Design by Windermere Design